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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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16
RosstopherGeller · 19/04/2024 12:10

I have the ultimate low-level job that I'm currently signed off from, for mental health reasons. I have 4 autistic DC, my husband's business has been struggling post covid and him developing epilepsy. When working, I was existing on 4 hours of broken sleep a day (nightshift). Plus perimenopausal. The work culture involves constant criticism. I have been struggling for some time, but as none of this stuff will get any easier, I was just resigned to it being shit. Until I completely broke down.

I'm grateful for the breathing space being signed off has given me. Rest assured no GP was hoodwinked in this process!

CrispsnDips · 19/04/2024 12:11

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 19/04/2024 12:07

Right! I mean, are these people gardeners or construction workers by trade? Or are they people who are able to manage physical tasks that makes them happy but overwhelmed by stress in their corporate or office workplace?

Two women who had Accountancy/secretarial backgrounds but were signed off because of poor physical health

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/04/2024 12:15

Bumpitybumper · 19/04/2024 11:47

Individuals should realise that they are responsible for themselves and they should take an active interest in their own health, education and wellbeing. The abdication of responsibility in the country is insane and laughable to those from countries that don't expect the government to step in every 5 minutes.

I wonder if there ever comes a time when people like you don't blame the government or capitalists? We have to wake up as a country and realise that we all can't be net takers and expect others (who?) to fund everything. A population will always have some disabled and vulnerable but with obesity and inactivity level shooting through the roof, we are hardly helping ourselves! The limited resources we have are going to be split far too many ways and this will ultimately only hurt those who need the resources most.

You’re missing something here.

I get full PIP, I’m too unwell to do anything about my condition. I can’t exercise or leave the house.

How do people who are too unwell to do anything about their conitions fit into your utopia

SoundTheSirens · 19/04/2024 12:15

CrispsnDips · 19/04/2024 12:11

Two women who had Accountancy/secretarial backgrounds but were signed off because of poor physical health

How convenient that you know so much about their backgrounds and medical history, you can talk in depth about their personal circumstances on a benefits thread 🙄

AE9766 · 19/04/2024 12:15

@GoodnightAdeline Leaving aside your odd fixation with horses, have you considered that people with variable conditions often find it hard or impossible to get or keep a job because the variability of their condition makes them unreliable to an employer, so they get fired on capability grounds or simply not hired in the first place?

Do you know many companies who would be happy to employ someone who had no clue if they would be able to work from one day to the next?

LadyKenya · 19/04/2024 12:15

CrispsnDips · 19/04/2024 12:11

Two women who had Accountancy/secretarial backgrounds but were signed off because of poor physical health

Nothing to do with you, all the same. Their doctors know more than you will.

pelotonaddiction · 19/04/2024 12:17

@GoodnightAdeline I can muck out and ride and have done for years. I regularly lift weights and do spin classes
On my bad days I can't get out of bed due to pain or medication side effects. Or I'm so fatigued I have to sleep after work for 2hrs before I can shower/eat
Every week I inject myself which gives me a 24hr fever, shivering, sweating, fainting, headache and then bone pain for 2 days

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 19/04/2024 12:19

We do have a sick note culture

Never forget that a labour person said yesterday, increase taxes for pensioners.

The political parities are in it for themselves

Re sick notes - there is a culture of this. I went off sick when unwell but found it hard to return so instead of the 1 - 3 days i often ended up taking at least a week off if not two

However, when a person is feeling depressed because of work and or home problems, IMO you are at a low and not fit to work in some cases

When i was younger, a doc rarely gave out sick notes but there was another that did so i saw him.

I know of relatives who are older and live up north and have been on sick note for years as there are no jobs there and they would not get benefits because they have more than the savings allowances.

Like everything, the genuine will get hit the slackers.

If you think labour's going to help, don't forget what one of them said re "pensioners."

pelotonaddiction · 19/04/2024 12:19

Should add I would prefer to work 32hrs rather than FT but I can't afford to drop a day as I can't get PIP

Cygnetmad · 19/04/2024 12:21

CrispsnDips · 19/04/2024 11:53

I get frustrated with two women I know who are VERY active with heavy gardening work (digging, moving concrete slabs, etc), walking long walks EVERY day (at a fast pace as I walked with one recently) yet have been signed off work for over ten years. I really don’t understand it!

Another lady receives an allowance for her teenage Autistic son, only allowing her to work 16 hours pw. Her son attends school regularly, cooks for himself and has even started his own business.

You seem to have intricate knowledge of others and their detailed living conditions, illnesses, working hours, during of sick leave etc?

Can you just go elsewhere to troll?

0sm0nthus · 19/04/2024 12:22

Thebestwaytoscareatory · 19/04/2024 10:42

Ri$hi and company will not be in power come January next year (hopefully a lot sooner than that) so anything they say is just background noise designed to rile up the easily manipulated parts of the population (who despite being very vocal, are a minority).

Agree!
(although I think you spelled his name wrong, it should be, Ri$$$$$$$$$$hi)

IClaudine · 19/04/2024 12:24

mydogisthebest · 19/04/2024 11:43

Well something has to be done about benefits for people who can't be bothered to work. The day is fast approaching when we will have more people on benefits than in work.

I know 2 people who claim benefits they are not actually entitled to so how many people across the country are doing the same?

My neighbour gets benefits because he has such bad anxiety he can't leave his house. I would have sympathy as I have suffered anxiety that bad except in my case I did not leave my house for several months. He leaves his house almost every day to work cash in hand, go shopping, walk his dogs, go swimming etc

As I predicted at the start of the thread...

Ignore them @MistressoftheDarkSide

Polishedshoesalways · 19/04/2024 12:26

In reality it’s a blend of both.

The genuinely disabled and very ill, and require support and help - and the ones that are taking full advantage of the tax payer and are lazy. There are millions of each - and of course some that could work but won’t - as a lifestyle choice and some that are too ill to ever work.

Of course we need to stop propping up lifestyle claimants. We need to do more for those that are in genuine need. The two are not mutually exclusive.

malificent7 · 19/04/2024 12:26

Awful people..i hope they crash and burn.

WitchesCauldron · 19/04/2024 12:27

There is some truth in what he says. I'm not a Tory but years of working in Public sector roles has shown there is a sizeable proportion of people not working who should be. This is always a policy that's popular with the electorate. Like it or not.

IClaudine · 19/04/2024 12:27

Cygnetmad · 19/04/2024 12:21

You seem to have intricate knowledge of others and their detailed living conditions, illnesses, working hours, during of sick leave etc?

Can you just go elsewhere to troll?

It is just bollocks, isn't it? Most people aren't dumb enough to believe all these fantasy posts.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/04/2024 12:27

I hate this fucking government. Hanging on and refusing to go.

Even though most of the country hate them. Even though they lose another mp every week due to their behaviour. I wish they’d just fuck off.

Someone on here the other day described Rishi as a ‘Tiny grinning twat’ That just about sums the wanker up🤬

Iamme1980 · 19/04/2024 12:29

Why do people keep telling the same old crap about benefits on here.
Nope benefits is not for life anymore! If your single or in a couple if you don't have a disability or is caring for someone once your child reaches 3 you have to look for work!
If you don't you get punished and your money taken of you it's that simple as that!
So I don't know why people are saying they know of someone who has been on benefits for years now with no other issues.

My friend is a carer to her adult son who is in a wheelchair after being in a coma as a child after having a heart attack due to a heart condition that no one knew he had until after.
He can not feed himself or do any basic care needs for himself.
And he was made to go into the job centre and present himself to get UC and prove he was unfit for work and fighting for that!

Unfortunately there are always going to be people taking the mick and mostly the tax dodgers I'm more concerned about!
The government love pitting people against each other and it works.

IClaudine · 19/04/2024 12:29

WitchesCauldron · 19/04/2024 12:27

There is some truth in what he says. I'm not a Tory but years of working in Public sector roles has shown there is a sizeable proportion of people not working who should be. This is always a policy that's popular with the electorate. Like it or not.

Only popular amongst the hateful and witless. And they are all going to vote Reform UK. Sunak is wasting his time demonising the sick and disabled.

Polishedshoesalways · 19/04/2024 12:29

It’s not exactly surprising that most of the posts support the huge increase in claimants….. when the people footing the bill are nowhere to be seen…I wonder why 🤔

malificent7 · 19/04/2024 12:29

I work for the nhs. My work makes me anxious as do many workplaces. Maybe the nect government could do something to tackle this.

GingerPirate · 19/04/2024 12:31

Ladybir · 19/04/2024 09:48

Like it or not but I believe there will be a good proportion of the UK population who agree with him

Yes.
Nothing more, nothing less.
And if the buggers don't get in, who then?
It's gonna be interesting.

IClaudine · 19/04/2024 12:31

Polishedshoesalways · 19/04/2024 12:29

It’s not exactly surprising that most of the posts support the huge increase in claimants….. when the people footing the bill are nowhere to be seen…I wonder why 🤔

What are you on about? I pay tax, so I am "footing the bill". Are you suggesting only benefit claimants post on MN?

LimeSweet · 19/04/2024 12:32

kaben · 19/04/2024 12:02

The thing is, as a country, we do have a lot of really serious (interlinked) problems. The fact that we have nearly 3 million people too sick to work is absolutely shocking.

What is more shocking is, that in any sort of clampdown, they are probably going to screw over the most vulnerable, who really need the sickness benefits. Unfortunately, the ones cheating the system will still be able to easily get away with it. And there are obviously in that nearly 3 million people, quite a significant number playing the system. Like a pp mentioned: "My neighbour gets benefits because he has such bad anxiety he can't leave his house. I would have sympathy as I have suffered anxiety that bad except in my case I did not leave my house for several months. He leaves his house almost every day to work cash in hand, go shopping, walk his dogs, go swimming etc." The dude is working cash in hand!!

Thing is, many are needing NHS help and are on months/years long waiting lists, getting sicker.

Anyway. I didn't vote in the last GE and won't be voting this time. No party can solve this. We are really really fucked and actively making things much worse. My jaw hangs open when medical schools tell students with 4 A stars to fuck off for example. I have a painful condition at the moment and have had to pay for private help. If I hadn't, I'd be totally debilitated with pain. It's a really quick simple condition to solve if you can actually access care.

My jaw hangs open when medical schools tell students with 4 A stars to fuck off for example

What do you mean?

beguilingeyes · 19/04/2024 12:32

While we're all fighting amongst ourselves...how many hunderds of millions of pounds have Sunak's gov't given to Rwanda already? For absolutely nothing?
Screw the disabled, lets throw the money there....

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