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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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16
LadyKenya · 20/04/2024 10:36

Your neighbour sounds vulnerable@mydogisthebest .

TitusGroanAgain · 20/04/2024 10:57

mydogisthebest · 20/04/2024 09:55

We are very friendly with our neighbour. He is the sort of person that tells you practically everything (most of which we don't want to know).

He has never told us he is committing fraud but he did tell us that he was giving up his job because he disliked having to get up early to go to work. Then after so long he told us he was going to claim job seekers. After a while (too long in my view) they were pushing him to find a job. He is 36, fit, drives so no reason he can't work.

He told DH that being pushed to find a job was stressing him out so he was going to speak to his GP. Next thing he tells DH he doesn't have to go and sign on because he is not getting job seekers any more but a different benefit. He also told DH he was suffering from depression and anxiety so bad he couldn't leave his house. If he had said that to me I would have laughed as he leaves his house every single day.

He has never said how much money he gets but has said he gets some of his rent paid, some council tax paid and money on top. It would not be enough to live on very well but as he works 4 or 5 days a week (full days) cash in hand he is laughing really and not paying any tax or NI.

We know the person he works cash in hand for. Another neighbour used to work for him and he offered DH work at one time and he is retiring later this year so neighbour will have to rethink his lifestyle

@mydogisthebest am I correct in understanding

That your neighbour of 36yrs old gave up work because he didn’t want to get up in the mornings and then when he was being pushed to find work after being on jobseekers he goes to his gp because he’s finding it stressy looking for a job.
The main issue here is
People actually think that classes him as vulnerable !

We seem to have a real attitude issue here

IClaudine · 20/04/2024 11:11

nothingsforgotten · 20/04/2024 09:42

People on the U.K. are having an ultra shit time. It has the lowest pigpig of the G7 and outside London is about the 25th wealthiest country in the world. So it’s having an ultra shit time because the government have destroyed it. It has so many sick people because there’s no nhs, no long term strategy for improving the health of its people. No help with increased power bills or rising food prices.

Food prices here are off the scale compared to what you pay in the UK. We also pay to visit the doctor, and there is no free dental care at all for adults. We don't get help with power bills or rising food prices and our health system is in crisis, as it is in many other parts of the world. The price of property is skyrocketing, and social housing is only available to those with little money, rent keeps increasing all the time. Need I go on .......

Well that sounds awful. It is a prime example of how governments will happily allow their citizens to live shit lives if their citizens allow it to happen.

We don't want life in the UK to keep deteriorating. Which is why we need to keep fighting against every proposal to make people's lives worse.

MissMarplesNiece · 20/04/2024 11:21

The ruling classes have got us where they want us - arguing about whether our neighbour is getting a few paltry pounds from the State because we think he's lazy rather than genuinely ill - when all the while they are busy transferring public funds worth billions into their private pockets. Sunak wrote off billions in Covid loans that will never be paid back, including money to one of his wife's companies. Billions went on "dodgy PPE", sold to this country by dodgy companies connected to MPs and their cronies - look at the Michelle Mone debacle for example. Michelle Mone who "works hard, plays hard" yes, worked hard at taking hundreds of millions from the State.

Why aren't we up in arms about those people, why aren't we demanding laws that make those people pay back what they've taken off us? That money should be paying for hospitals, schools, social care for the elderly & those with disabilities.

Why are we embracing rules that will make it harder for ordinary people who are struggling with the dire country we've become? Why are we picking on our neighbours (about whose lives we only know what they tell us, maybe that's not the full picture) instead of the real robber barons?

Yes, the ruling classes know all about how to divide and rule.

Babyroobs · 20/04/2024 11:23

MissMarplesNiece · 20/04/2024 11:21

The ruling classes have got us where they want us - arguing about whether our neighbour is getting a few paltry pounds from the State because we think he's lazy rather than genuinely ill - when all the while they are busy transferring public funds worth billions into their private pockets. Sunak wrote off billions in Covid loans that will never be paid back, including money to one of his wife's companies. Billions went on "dodgy PPE", sold to this country by dodgy companies connected to MPs and their cronies - look at the Michelle Mone debacle for example. Michelle Mone who "works hard, plays hard" yes, worked hard at taking hundreds of millions from the State.

Why aren't we up in arms about those people, why aren't we demanding laws that make those people pay back what they've taken off us? That money should be paying for hospitals, schools, social care for the elderly & those with disabilities.

Why are we embracing rules that will make it harder for ordinary people who are struggling with the dire country we've become? Why are we picking on our neighbours (about whose lives we only know what they tell us, maybe that's not the full picture) instead of the real robber barons?

Yes, the ruling classes know all about how to divide and rule.

It's not just a few paltry pounds we are talking about in these cases though is it ? It's large sums of money every month sometimes for years on end ?

Houseplanter · 20/04/2024 11:49

MissMarplesNiece · 20/04/2024 11:21

The ruling classes have got us where they want us - arguing about whether our neighbour is getting a few paltry pounds from the State because we think he's lazy rather than genuinely ill - when all the while they are busy transferring public funds worth billions into their private pockets. Sunak wrote off billions in Covid loans that will never be paid back, including money to one of his wife's companies. Billions went on "dodgy PPE", sold to this country by dodgy companies connected to MPs and their cronies - look at the Michelle Mone debacle for example. Michelle Mone who "works hard, plays hard" yes, worked hard at taking hundreds of millions from the State.

Why aren't we up in arms about those people, why aren't we demanding laws that make those people pay back what they've taken off us? That money should be paying for hospitals, schools, social care for the elderly & those with disabilities.

Why are we embracing rules that will make it harder for ordinary people who are struggling with the dire country we've become? Why are we picking on our neighbours (about whose lives we only know what they tell us, maybe that's not the full picture) instead of the real robber barons?

Yes, the ruling classes know all about how to divide and rule.

If the masses are up in arms about the Tory tax dodgers etc we can vote them out.

We can also expect them to deal with benefit fraudsters

LadyKenya · 20/04/2024 12:16

Well said@MissMarplesNiece .

GoldenTrout · 20/04/2024 12:45

SquirrelMeze · 19/04/2024 17:21

I don't understand it. David Cameron's son had very severe epilepsy and sadly passed away. How can you on one hand know the impact of ill health and on the other not care.

I don't think Cameron's family ever had to endure long waits for treatment, adaptations, appropriate education etc. I don't begrudge it to his child in the least, I just wish similar standards were applicable to all disabled children.

GoldenTrout · 20/04/2024 12:50

Saltyswee · 19/04/2024 17:58

If a person is too unwell for any type of work then the will be assessed as that.

What do people fear about that assessment?

I fear that the assessment will be carried out by some Capita lackey with minimal qualifications or experience undertaking a tick-box exercise, and incentivised to allow minimal claims. We know that, if the Tories stay in power, that is what will happen, because they have a track record for similar conduct with benefits claims.

LadyKenya · 20/04/2024 12:53

GoldenTrout · 20/04/2024 12:45

I don't think Cameron's family ever had to endure long waits for treatment, adaptations, appropriate education etc. I don't begrudge it to his child in the least, I just wish similar standards were applicable to all disabled children.

And that is precisely why the Government should be trying to ease the burden on people caring for severely disabled children. They should understand that their money enables them to buy in help, that other families without that financial scaffolding cannot do. I have read on here before, how some people never get a break from their caring duties, due to cutbacks, and lack of provisions. If a number of families were to crack, and handover care of their children to the state, it will cost more in the long run.

LimeSweet · 20/04/2024 14:06

whoneedssixteen · 19/04/2024 18:44

How many times do we see on here "Go to the GP and get signed off". Not go to the GP and let him/her see whether you are ill, if they can help you - but "get signed off". Usually because people are having trouble at home, getting "bullied" at work, struggling with too much to do.

How often do we see "I've been signed off for three weeks" from people who are not ill but using the "I've been signed off" as some sort of badge to show they are right about the bullying/ work culture/ horrid boss.

You can sign yourself off on line. I have a colleague who has not seen the GP for seven months but has continuously signed himself off with "back problems". The GP has refused any more certificates without an appointment but in short if the guy says he has a bad back and is in too much pain to work it is very difficult to prove otherwise.

GPs will probably be delighted by this as they know they are being used simply so that people can claim benefits or sick pay or insurance. People no longer say "I'm ill Dr" but "Can you sign me off?" And if the GP declines or asks questions the "patient" makes a "formal complaint" or simply sees a different GP. In some cases GPs are threatened if they don't do what's asked. And if it's depression or anxiety there is nothing the GP can do - they can't say "You are not anxious" and everyone knows that.

And if you think that all those people are genuinely too ill to work you are very naïve.

I don’t blame GPs really. They are overworked and exhausted. You can’t really disprove anxiety or depression if a patient is articulate enough. Which GP on limited time wants an argument or formal complaint? It’s not worth it.

silverneedle · 20/04/2024 14:12

Head pain again prevents me typing much today but my thoughts on Cons plans also same as these two tweets:

“This govt has failed us. 14yrs of Tory ugliness has broken our country. And their response is to lash out at the vulnerable, to insinuate that those people are milking the system so there’s less for everyone else. Every single punchdown is an admission of their failure. Not ours.”

“The govt systematically destroyed the NHS, created a large population with disability via exposure to COVID* and underfunding of the NHS & preventive care - took away all support from the disabled, and is now trying to force ill people into work.”

*Long COVID, as currently defined, is a mix of various patient groups. There are those with organ damage or post ICU syndrome or even post viral fatigue syndrome that is self-limiting after a few months to a year or so. Then there is the chronic disabling form of long covid that has the symptom - amongst others - of post exertion exacerbation of symptoms making people either too ill to work at all or at best part-time.

**Photo attached to show underfunding of NHS under Cons with lower annual increases in funding between 2010-2018 then a bit of a increase from 2018 onwards, but not enough to make up for 8 years of underfunding whilst during the same period there has been significant growth in demand of NHS services due to increase in older population then pandemic in 2020. Also underfunding of social care adds to the pressures faced by NHS.

And as I said yesterday as someone sick and disabled I experienced Cameron and Osborne reducing financial support for the disabled via decreased benefits and increased social care costs due to the 2011 welfare reform act and local government cuts in the years following them coming into power in 2010. This decrease remains. Now Cons want to reduce things further for the sick and disabled.

Don't be poor, disabled, sick or elderly . .
GoodnightAdeline · 20/04/2024 14:14

Babyroobs · 20/04/2024 11:23

It's not just a few paltry pounds we are talking about in these cases though is it ? It's large sums of money every month sometimes for years on end ?

Yes, I’m so tired of the ‘they just want us to argue with each other to distract from their evil genius master plan…’

The tories are thieving and immoral. I’ve never voted for them, will probably never vote for them, and feel they’ve run the country into the ground over the last 15 years.

But, there IS no genius master plan, they don’t ‘want’ us to be doing anything. They’re not that bright, frankly. And they know they’re finished at the next election. They’re like vultures picking bits off a carcass, getting what they can but if we’re being completely honest the amounts they’ve siphoned off ARE pretty small in the scheme of things.

Covid dodgy deals - 4 billion
Michelle Mone - 29 million
Non dom status - 1.4 billion

All together that makes up less than 5% of our yearly education budget.

I get its annoying but even if we recouped all the money lost to Tory corruption it would hardly make a dent.

silverneedle · 20/04/2024 14:19

GoodnightAdeline · 20/04/2024 14:14

Yes, I’m so tired of the ‘they just want us to argue with each other to distract from their evil genius master plan…’

The tories are thieving and immoral. I’ve never voted for them, will probably never vote for them, and feel they’ve run the country into the ground over the last 15 years.

But, there IS no genius master plan, they don’t ‘want’ us to be doing anything. They’re not that bright, frankly. And they know they’re finished at the next election. They’re like vultures picking bits off a carcass, getting what they can but if we’re being completely honest the amounts they’ve siphoned off ARE pretty small in the scheme of things.

Covid dodgy deals - 4 billion
Michelle Mone - 29 million
Non dom status - 1.4 billion

All together that makes up less than 5% of our yearly education budget.

I get its annoying but even if we recouped all the money lost to Tory corruption it would hardly make a dent.

Austerity stymied economic growth. Obama after 2008 crash increasd further borrowing to kickstart economy, it worked. Cameron saw 2008 crash as smokescreen to say austerity necessary and create smaller state by reducing public spending. U.K. had much slower economic growth, then economic damage of Brexit.

silverneedle · 20/04/2024 14:42

It’s important to remember that some people are born or become sick and disabled and no amount of stick beating by govt will suddenly miraculously make them well enough to work, just sick and disabled plus increasing poverty on top.

SerendipityJane · 20/04/2024 14:45

The tories are thieving

It's literally what the word means. About the only thing you can't accuse the Tories of is misleading advertising.

LimeSweet · 20/04/2024 16:27

BIossomtoes · 20/04/2024 09:45

Where’s “here”?

That poster lives in NZ. She has said so on recent threads. Not sure why she is being shy about saying so here 🤷🏼‍♀️

pointythings · 20/04/2024 16:35

LimeSweet · 20/04/2024 16:27

That poster lives in NZ. She has said so on recent threads. Not sure why she is being shy about saying so here 🤷🏼‍♀️

She's also said she's in her 40s and now suddenly she's over 50 and retired.

IClaudine · 20/04/2024 16:53

pointythings · 20/04/2024 16:35

She's also said she's in her 40s and now suddenly she's over 50 and retired.

Life can't be that bad where she is if she can afford to retire at 50 😳

silverneedle · 20/04/2024 17:51

SmokeyWigwams · 19/04/2024 19:09

The NHS takes one of the largest percentages of GDP out of all countries in the developed world, and yet it's one of the worst performing.

The issue is the system, not funding.

This is not true.

Don't be poor, disabled, sick or elderly . .
silverneedle · 20/04/2024 17:55

SmokeyWigwams · 19/04/2024 19:09

The NHS takes one of the largest percentages of GDP out of all countries in the developed world, and yet it's one of the worst performing.

The issue is the system, not funding.

And was performing v well in 2010 pre this govt.

Don't be poor, disabled, sick or elderly . .
Ponderingwindow · 20/04/2024 18:00

I must admit that as an outsider, I am reading this proposal with a bit of fascination. It looks largely unworkable, but I have often wondered about certain aspects of British working culture.

So taking a risk and going ahead and asking

i don’t understand the short term sick notes for stress. How did that come about? Why is it allowed? Do people really just get to say work is stressful and I can’t show up and still get paid for weeks or even months?

JLT24 · 20/04/2024 18:16

Ponderingwindow · 20/04/2024 18:00

I must admit that as an outsider, I am reading this proposal with a bit of fascination. It looks largely unworkable, but I have often wondered about certain aspects of British working culture.

So taking a risk and going ahead and asking

i don’t understand the short term sick notes for stress. How did that come about? Why is it allowed? Do people really just get to say work is stressful and I can’t show up and still get paid for weeks or even months?

Work related stress (or personal stress) can be severely damaging to mental and physical health and very debilitating, therefore if you need to signed off as sick because you are then a GP should sign a sick note.

Ponderingwindow · 20/04/2024 18:28

JLT24 · 20/04/2024 18:16

Work related stress (or personal stress) can be severely damaging to mental and physical health and very debilitating, therefore if you need to signed off as sick because you are then a GP should sign a sick note.

I understand it is debilitating, I don’t understand why the answer isn’t to go get a different job.

Thevelvelletes · 20/04/2024 18:34

Houseplanter · 20/04/2024 11:49

If the masses are up in arms about the Tory tax dodgers etc we can vote them out.

We can also expect them to deal with benefit fraudsters

Difference between benefits fraudsters and benefits claimants
They are not one and the same as the cons party would like people to think.