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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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16
Tahinii · 19/04/2024 20:36

I find it so strange that people freely enjoy telling neighbour and acquaintances and causal friends that they’re committing fraud. I don’t know anyone in my life who is faking a disability or working cash in hand. I can only assume they keep it to themselves.

I had a chat with my neighbour about the road closures around near me and he said it took him double the time to get home from work. Imagine if he’d added “oh and I drove 50 in a 30 mph zone and had 5 beers just before so I didn’t mind the traffic”. He doesn’t strike me as that sort of man but if he was, I’d think it was very odd that he was confessing it to me as we exchanged social pleasantries.

IClaudine · 19/04/2024 20:37

OOBetty · 19/04/2024 20:30

I know, I posted because!!!
she doesn’t have fibromyalgia and her daughter is not her carer.!
Even she said ‘it’s an easy one’ to pretend you have.

Try not to be rude please !
and at least read posts thoroughly to understand what is being said.
Thankyou

Even she said ‘it’s an easy one’ to pretend you have

It is not easy to get PIP. Not easy at all.

IClaudine · 19/04/2024 20:38

Tahinii · 19/04/2024 20:36

I find it so strange that people freely enjoy telling neighbour and acquaintances and causal friends that they’re committing fraud. I don’t know anyone in my life who is faking a disability or working cash in hand. I can only assume they keep it to themselves.

I had a chat with my neighbour about the road closures around near me and he said it took him double the time to get home from work. Imagine if he’d added “oh and I drove 50 in a 30 mph zone and had 5 beers just before so I didn’t mind the traffic”. He doesn’t strike me as that sort of man but if he was, I’d think it was very odd that he was confessing it to me as we exchanged social pleasantries.

Edited

It is only on MN that these fantasy people exist.

Dollenganger333 · 19/04/2024 20:39

If @Polishedshoesalways works in mental health, I'm Princess Anne. 😂😂😂

People can say anything on here to fit their narrative.

JenniferBooth · 19/04/2024 20:44

@Polishedshoesalways Yes i thought you might be one of the patient facing ones i was referring to here......

There are several threads running on MN at the moment about the carers allowance scandal and how family carers are treated. The NHS workers are conspicuous by their abscence. Its like tumbleweed. Yet post a thread about how can we improve the NHS and its like a klaxon has gone off and the health workers on here (not all of them but a good amount of them) are lining up to patient blame and moan about how families arent doing enough for their loved ones/elderly yet post a thread about how family carers are being treated re CA and they couldnt give less of a shit!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5048517-to-bring-your-attention-to-the-carers-benefit-fraud-scandal?page=1

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5045433-carers-allowance-and-benefit-fraud?reply=134540759

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5049094-to-think-the-carers-allowance-scandal-shows-the-uncaringness-of-the-dwp#:~:text=The%20pressure%20on%20the%20prime,a%20few%20pounds%20a%20week. The threads are nowhere near as long as the NHS ones are either

Carers Allowance and Benefit "Fraud" | Mumsnet

It's about time someone started to take notice of the treatment of Carers Allowance claimants. As the Guardian mentions, earn £1 too much, someone los...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5045433-carers-allowance-and-benefit-fraud?reply=134540759

Gruffallowhydidntyouknow · 19/04/2024 20:47

There are loads of people signed off with "stress" and "fatigue" or misuse the word disabled for fatigue or mild mental health difficulties.

This makes life for people with actual ill health and disabilities really hard as they aren't believed when they should be. People who actually need time off work are usually those clambering the hardest to get back or not take the piss out if employers. Meanwhile the work shy and emotionally fragile misuse the system.

I want a country with an excellent high quality of life for those with genuine disabilities and great opportunities to support people to work that can't without help, people with learning disabilities for example who can be amazing, hard working dedicated people but need the right support to get into the right jobs.

I'd so much rather we spent money on that than stressed Sarah that needs 6 months off or people that can work but find very menial reasons that they can't.

OOBetty · 19/04/2024 20:52

LadyKenya · 19/04/2024 15:52

@OOBetty I don't think that you seem to like your "friend" very much. No doubt that she would value your thoughts on her disabilityHmm

Read the full running thread I posted onto!!!!!
She doesn’t have anything, she’s deliberately lying
She admitted it
Shes claiming her daughters is her carer as well to get reduced grade offers to University too
Its all a scam

XenoBitch · 19/04/2024 20:56

Gruffallowhydidntyouknow · 19/04/2024 20:47

There are loads of people signed off with "stress" and "fatigue" or misuse the word disabled for fatigue or mild mental health difficulties.

This makes life for people with actual ill health and disabilities really hard as they aren't believed when they should be. People who actually need time off work are usually those clambering the hardest to get back or not take the piss out if employers. Meanwhile the work shy and emotionally fragile misuse the system.

I want a country with an excellent high quality of life for those with genuine disabilities and great opportunities to support people to work that can't without help, people with learning disabilities for example who can be amazing, hard working dedicated people but need the right support to get into the right jobs.

I'd so much rather we spent money on that than stressed Sarah that needs 6 months off or people that can work but find very menial reasons that they can't.

Ok, my DP is off with stress right now. He wants to go back to work, but has already had a failed phased return to work. Failed because he WFH, but is ND so hyper focused well beyond the hours he was meant to do, and ended up burning out again. Is now stuck in a burnout cycle. He will drop to half pay soon.

He has a lot going on outside of work too, so having the time away from work means he has one less demand.

He has not had "endless" sick notes from his GP. Had to see his GP for the first one.. and a MH nurse for others. They have sent him on an anxiety course (not helpful), and when they found out he was autistic, actually asked if he could read and write. He is post grad educated.

He has seen OH etc, but I am not sure what else they can do beyond WFH and certain hours as a reasonable adjustment.

IClaudine · 19/04/2024 20:57

OOBetty · 19/04/2024 20:52

Read the full running thread I posted onto!!!!!
She doesn’t have anything, she’s deliberately lying
She admitted it
Shes claiming her daughters is her carer as well to get reduced grade offers to University too
Its all a scam

Don't universities ask for evidence of a student being a young carer? For example the parent being in receipt of the care component of PIP? I am sure they must do.

HebburnPokemon · 19/04/2024 20:58

*It is true that some GPs are way too fit note happy, especially when it comes to stress.

There's a difference between actual mental health concerns and someone having a bit of a shit time that they can and need to get through to be able to face situations in the future.*

OK Mel Stride

Lifeomars · 19/04/2024 20:59

IDontOftenComment · 19/04/2024 19:06

I agree with him, there too many work shy people raking in benefits, that doesn’t mean I don’t think some people are genuinely ill I’m sure they are, but it needs tackling whether you like it or not.
Virtually everyone knows someone who could be working but chooses to live off benefits instead.

In the whole of my life I have only ever known one person who was swinging the lead. Compare that with the many people I supported with complex mental health issues when I was a community mental health worker. A lot of them lived in poverty, I used to do home visits to houses where there was minimal food in the cupboards, the heating was never on (this was pre the horrendous price rises we had recently), people who had periods of profound illness, who were sometimes sectioned, who self harmed in extreme and dangerous ways, who heard voices, who were on heavy duty anti-psychotics. Then factor in who on earth would employ people with such a myriad of issues, who would hold their job open for them if they had to go to hospital on a section? Yes, some people did recover enough to resume the jobs they had before they became unwell, but they had very caring and understanding employers and there are not as many of those as there need to be

Justpontificating · 19/04/2024 21:00

Notsurewhatsgoingonhere · 19/04/2024 17:45

Yeh, it’s going to be great. Labour will get in and do exactly as much good as they’ve done in Wales…oh, wait….

but it’s ok because they will tax the private schools, sending students flocking to the already oversubscribed state schools in droves. And the nhs will be fixed by the surplus of people entering the country illegally.

benefits for everyone! Let’s focus on taxing the people who already pay the most tax so that they fuck off! Yay!

It’s gong to be great!

Labour also proposing taxing the elderly and creaming off more from peoples savings.
Plus taxing all interest on savings, ISAs, bonds etc for everyone.

No reason to make anything of your life really and with the state of the nhs and schools it’s all too scarey here

Think we might move to Guernsey
Less hatred there.

thegirlwithemousyhair · 19/04/2024 21:01

That carers allowance case is appalling. Theyre going after the easy targets and they dont give a f*. Meanwhile, the billionaire syndicate is getting richer and richer. It wont change under Labour mind. Theyre all the bloody same now because the System's gloves and the Corporates are controlling it. The UN wants 'strong societies' -code speak for no sick, poor or elderly.

OOBetty · 19/04/2024 21:03

IClaudine · 19/04/2024 20:57

Don't universities ask for evidence of a student being a young carer? For example the parent being in receipt of the care component of PIP? I am sure they must do.

Actually no they don’t check.
All she had to do was say she was her carer and say she has dis allowance ….job done.

The school actually told her to say her daughter was her carer 🤯they know she’s not!

IClaudine · 19/04/2024 21:09

OOBetty · 19/04/2024 21:03

Actually no they don’t check.
All she had to do was say she was her carer and say she has dis allowance ….job done.

The school actually told her to say her daughter was her carer 🤯they know she’s not!

How do you know all this in so much detail?

Also, what is "dis allowance"?

Octavia64 · 19/04/2024 21:10

Saltyswee · 19/04/2024 17:58

If a person is too unwell for any type of work then the will be assessed as that.

What do people fear about that assessment?

They lie.

I was in an accident. My foot was smashed up. I couldn't walk and I use a wheelchair.

My PIP assessment paperwork was clearly someone else's (had the wrong name on) and was therefore completely factually inaccurate for me.

OnlyTheBravest · 19/04/2024 21:11

There is no easy answer.

Any system that requires individuals to assess someone else's condition is going to have problems. Unfortunately, because of the scammers, those that need support are having to jump through bigger and bigger hoops.
I would not be comfortable with the Conservatives having anything to do this with this as you can guarantee that everyone will end up worse off.

However, there is a conversation to be had about disability and incapacity to work. Should all disability benefits be paid in cash? Would some conditions benefit from fast track into health services? I have always wondered why people with addictions are given more money. Is this the best way to help them? Is this what they really need? It is a much larger conversation and with the change to the type of work available, the increase to retirement age and shocking cost of living, maybe now is exactly the right time for the population to put forward the challenging questions/issues and expect incoming prospective parties to state exactly how they would change things and add them to their manifestos.

40weeksmummy · 19/04/2024 21:16

Ladybir · 19/04/2024 09:48

Like it or not but I believe there will be a good proportion of the UK population who agree with him

They will agree until they'll need sick note, sick pay or PIP. Especially, if can't afford private health care.
I'm sorry, but Rishi has no f**king clue about sickness while waiting appointment at NHS for 9 months and operation for 5 years. And yes, it's absolutely normal to be signed off because of stress, anxiety, etc because you can't get any proper help on time.

AE9766 · 19/04/2024 21:18

@OnlyTheBravest
However, there is a conversation to be had about disability and incapacity to work. Should all disability benefits be paid in cash? Would some conditions benefit from fast track into health services?

When considering that question, first ask yourself if you would be happy to have your wages paid in Sainsbury's vouchers instead of money.

Disabled people deserve the dignity of making their own decisions.

Octavia64 · 19/04/2024 21:20

Polishedshoesalways · 19/04/2024 19:41

I am saying this because the academic research reliably informs most of us that it is a lack of purpose, fulfilment and direction that impacts mental health.

The lack of structure, malaise and lack of meaning can be crippling.

The thing that most impacts my mental health is having been in an accident and as a result having constant pain and not being able to walk very far.

I worked for ten years after the accident and work did not help my mental health in fact I left my job in teaching as many other teachers are because I burnt out and now I have a couple of mental health problems to add to my physical health problems.

No, they are not depression and anxiety, they are dissociative disorder and functional neurological disorder.

Sunshineandrainbows23 · 19/04/2024 21:21

RafaistheKingofClay · 19/04/2024 10:07

Somebody might want to point out to him that people who have been found fit to work are already dying.

Or that life expectancy has stagnated if not falling so the number of healthy working years people have is likely to be falling too.

There’s an air of spike Milligan’s ‘I told you I was sick’ about this.

Absolutely. Rishi and his rhetoric against vulnerable people make me sick.

This is absolutely horrific.

Let's hope this govt is gone soon.

OOBetty · 19/04/2024 21:24

IClaudine · 19/04/2024 21:09

How do you know all this in so much detail?

Also, what is "dis allowance"?

Edited

Because she told me we’ve known each other most of our lives and her daughter also told me she’s got reduced offers as ‘ we said I was mums carer’.
I was trying to help the daughter apply to Uni as my friend was confused by the system.

They think it’s funny.

She gets benefits because of her ‘disability’ I don’t know what they are called and I didn’t ask if the daughter gets anything for being her ‘carer’, I didn’t ask. I was shocked and she said everyone does it so why can’t she. Listing all these people we know and what they are doing.

She actually got scared as she rents a house out and has never paid tax on the rent money for nearly 20years and claims child benefit and uc without saying anything about the rental money. She wants to sell now and got scared hmrc would find out so I suggested she just told them rather than they catch her out. HMRC are writing off all the tax not paid, not even a small fine which I did warn her they might do.

thegirlwithemousyhair · 19/04/2024 21:25

We all get old and we'll all get sick eventually and their attitude is basically f_k you, you're no longer useful so off you go.

IClaudine · 19/04/2024 21:25

Justpontificating · 19/04/2024 21:00

Labour also proposing taxing the elderly and creaming off more from peoples savings.
Plus taxing all interest on savings, ISAs, bonds etc for everyone.

No reason to make anything of your life really and with the state of the nhs and schools it’s all too scarey here

Think we might move to Guernsey
Less hatred there.

Do you have a link about the proposals re: savings and ISAs, please? Interest from non ISA savings is already taxed once past £1k p.a for most people. Is Labour proposing to change that?