Colleague informing my manager of a medical issue

[Sparklybutold]

I work frontline with members of the public, around 95% of it wfh. I have always suffered with a myriad of neurological and musculoskeletal problems throughout my life. Recently I have been referred to neurology, with MS being one of many diagnoses. I informed my manager during supervision as I have been open about my health issues since I started. My job suits my needs and limitations well. I am very proactive in ensuring I access all the support I can. During a conversation with a colleague I told her about this referral. She didn't ask many questions, just 'that she was familiar with MS as she had family/friends diagnosed'. I told her that I had already informed our manager. This colleague informed me today by email that she has let my manager know as she is 'duty bound' to ensure my safety. This has really angered me.

I've already told our manager - I told her this. So she has effectively told them again?

She didn't actually enquire about my own symptoms, supposedly going on her own understanding of MS. The tone of the email feels extremely infantilising and judgemental.

Confidentiality is central to our work. In instances that requires us to break this confidentiality, we let the person know. She told me after.

I have supervision on Friday with my manager. How do I broach this?

It's one of many diagnoses. It could be anything, it could be part of an existing diagnosis. Funny thing is she didn't enquire about my symptoms, just said something along the lines of 'I know MS well, family/friend have been diagnosed with it'. I'm learning she has form to not really ask many questions about myself and instead will talk more about herself. I interject when I can so it feels more balanced. I'll keep it business from now on.

It's a therapeutic type profession.

There’s no confidentiality when it comes to safeguarding. You told her something, she felt unequipped to deal with it so she reported it upwards. I don’t think she did anything wrong here. You put her in an awful position-you can’t blame her for feeling out of her depth

If you were a child, she would 'duty bound' to safeguard you.

As you are an adult though, unless she considers you a danger to others, she has absolutely no right whatsoever to speak to your manager about your diagnosis without your permission.

She has way overstepped here and I would making a formal complaint if I were in your position.

You don't need someone's consent to raise a valid safeguarding concern, but this is not a valid safeguarding concern.

It’s not up to the colleague to make that assessment. If she was concerned, she should pass on her concerns to someone equipped to make that judgment which is what she did.

Thankyou for everyone's perspective and advise.

I'm am confused and angered by her informing our manager. It does feel disablist and that she doesn't trust that I've already let our manager know.

I won't be emailing her before I've spoken with my manager tomorrow. I can then get more information and ask to see the email. I will express my disappointment that she felt the need to do it, especially as after speaking about our mutual diagnosis and I asked how she found a particular session we had together as it involved moving chairs etc I then stated I had been referred to neurology and that MS could be one of many diagnoses. TBH in hindsight I was seeking some form of solidarity and understanding as I know she struggles with a health condition. This was my mistake. She never enquired about symptoms. We spoke briefly about how we both paced ourselves because of our health conditions. I've just started this role, I guess this is an opportunity for me to see how the manager deals with it. Considering the work we do - I would hope my manager shares my concerns and doesn't try to excuse it anyway.

Safe guarding still applies to adults - particularly vulnerable adults, which could include the OP or her patients.

Sorry....I still don't know what that means.

I'm honestly not being goady, I'm genuinely curious and want to understand.

I suppose during the pandemic most (all?) people who carried on actually 'going to work' ie out of their homes were frontline workers, but not all frontline workers have to work outside of the home.

Regarding safeguarding, even when informing someone else of a concern, where possible, I would always give the person heads up, this is also something that is encouraged where we work.

So we spoke, I thought informally, she then sent an email to my manager about my health condition (one I haven't seen), and then sent another email cc'ing my boss in telling me her 'duty bound' responsibility to do so whilst also stating in the same email that she knows I've already told manager?

@CharlotteBog it's ok, I understand your curiosity. Whilst trying to make sure I'm not giving too much away. It's similar to counselling/investigating - working with families. Majority did shift online during pandemic and it suits the nature of our work.

This is good I'd send this.

This is a too harsh. Disabled people shouldn't have to kept their health issues secret in case they upset any able boded people. The colleague sounds like a patronising busy body

In the training I have had on safeguarding it is clear that it is aimed at preventing abuse, be that physical, sexual, emotional or neglect.

Safeguarding applies to children and to vulnerable adults.

It isn't appropriate to consider someone vulnerable because they may (or may not in this case!) have a disability.

So I really don't see how safeguarding is appropriate in this case.

This would be, for me, a massive breach of trust, and I would make sure my colleague knew I would not be considering her a friend, and my communication with her would reduce itself to whatever was strictly necessary for work.

I would also put a complaint on her for disclosing my personal medical history without permission in a malicious way.

I cannot imagine any situation in which a colleague would tell me anything about their health in confidence and I would go writing to our manager about it. It's horrendous, disloyal and I would very much consider it a betrayal.

Thank you so much.
I wish you all the best.

It's quite simple really. She's a busybody and you inadvertently gave her ammunition to insert herself into some drama and she's run with it.

Lessons learnt. She's not your friend and she isn't to be trusted.

OP, how rotten to be waiting for a differential Rx. I think her behaviour has been disappointing, and if you do have MS, she has no idea, what form it will take or how debilitating it will be and to take it upon herself to send an email was at best interfering and at worst being a busybody. Moving forward, you know who to trust but I really would emphasise to you manager that this comes very close to crossing a line and you may decide to pursue it further. I would work politely with her and share no further personal details... and no, this is not an adult safeguarding issue.

She's made her own diagnosis based on knowledge gleaned from family/friends.

You need an actual copy of that email, not just to see it, so that you can refute (in writing) any inaccuracies before they go on the record. If you are only allowed to read it. Take a photo with your phone whilst doing so.

There will probably be some.... but this is actually making you have to provide details about your condition to answer speculation by a colleague, well before you've been formally investigated or diagnosed, adding to your stress whilst going through the diagnosis proceedure. Things that you might not be ready to discuss with your manager, but now have to because of her.

Its just not fair. There's a lot of talk about safeguarding but I think you are allowed to say to your manager that this has been upsetting for you, as it implies that you were trying to hide something, when you haven't been.

I'd also ask the manager not to discuss this further with her and remind her that your medical details are confidential, as you don't trust her anymore.

I hope your manager backs you up so that you can put this behind you. At least you know where you stand with this woman now. I agree with the posters who say don't discuss it with her anymore, its none of her damn business.

Well, you told her. So you broke your own confidentiality.

What on earth does this mean? You can tell anyone you want about your own stuff if you wish. That’s not breaking your own confidentiality?! Other people break someone’s confidentiality.

Nurses, doctors, psychologists etc can do phone appts in their clinics. They are still frontline. Maybe that’s what the OP does.

Yes, I understand that an element of all healthcare jobs can be done remotely, I was just wondering about it being 95% of the time.
OP has hinted w/o giving away her job.

Your own medical stuff is yours and private… until you tell people. If you tell a manager or HR then they are bound to keep that quiet, they can’t discuss it with your colleagues. But if you tell a colleague, they are not bound. If they feel it’s needed then they can go above and tell a manager.

If you want your stuff to remain confidential, then tell your manager (if you need to) and no one else. If you dump your medical issues on a colleague and they don’t feel equipped to handle that, or it gives them concerns, then they are going to go above you and report. The OP could have kept it to herself until she actually had a diagnosis and knows what will happen to her and what she needs in place from her colleagues.

But what was she 'duty bound' to report? (In her opinion)
You haven't been diagnosed you have been referred for tests if I understand correctly?

It's one of many diagnoses. It could be anything, it could be part of an existing diagnosis.

Safeguarding. She’s not a bloody child. This is just ridiculous.