To think they should have apologised for wrongly accusing me of shoplifting?

[Tyzbiscuit]

I was in a well known supermarket today with DP picking up a few things for dinner. I scanned my shopping at the self checkout, paid and printed the receipt (all while being watched by a member of staff standing right behind me.)

There wasn’t much room and we had 2 bags so DP packed one on the paid for side and I packed another nearer the scanner. As I put one of the items in the bag, it must have scanned on the scanner again without me noticing.

As we were walking away, the member of staff started shouting ‘excuse me!’. I stopped and turned to see him staring at me accusingly and pointing at the self service screen. I asked what he meant and he said I had to pay for the item and shouted the price loudly across to me. Everyone was staring at this point, it was embarrassing. I explained I’d paid and didn’t owe anything and showed my receipt with the item on it. He still just stood there until his supervisor (I assume) came over and told him it was fine and that ‘this happens sometimes’. There was no apology from either of them. As I turned around I heard the supervisor telling the staff member ‘well done for checking’ and it honestly gave me the rage. Why is it ‘well done’ to wrongly someone of shoplifting and then not apologise?

It’s left me with a horrible feeling and I feel judged as someone who would go around stealing. I think that bar codes should be deactivated once the item has been paid for to avoid this sort of thing happening. I feel like raising this with the supermarket because I am still angry.

Good for you.

He’s just doing his job,

I know it’s embarrassing!! But I imagine they get a lot of theft on those machines. so on that merit you are a tiny bit.. but I think it comes from a place of embarrassment.

Looks like you completely failed to comprehend what I posted.
I'll let you carry on by yourself.

Good day.

Good on you!!

I don't see how anyone can say that criticising this public character assassination and wrongful accusal is "being unreasonable", I would be demanding a full apology from the store at the very least.

I disagree with most and agree with PrincessPollyyy that there is a way to speak to people, a way to treat people. And that isn't it!

You literally said...

"If it has never happend to you, you feel it for the rest of your life"

Maybe I am misunderstanding what you meant but you literally said that - you have been asked to clarify if you paid for something in a shop, you took it personally and you have been affected by it your whole life. You may take offense at my pointing out that this is an unusual and extreme reaction but unfortunately that's also up to you.

I feel like a lot of the people here have never had something like this happen to them. He actually did a reeeeally bad job because you’re not supposed to confront thieves. If you can knocked his head on your way out he would also have been fired. Not only is he a jobsworth but he’s an (insurance) liability too.

Yes I agree. No idea why people are having a go at you. The staff member's job is to check but they should always do so politely - a 'sorry, can you wait a second please, the till is showing an additional item that hasn't been paid for.' etc.

I've been stopped a few times for different things due to till/scanner issues at the supermarket and had my bags checked etc and the way the staff member deals with it makes all the difference. Sometimes they are unnecessarily rude and it puts your back up - I asked someone to take the tag off a clothing item and she snapped 'Have you paid for it? Show me the receipt!' It would have taken the same amount of time and effort to ask nicely 'Yes of course, just let me check the receipt first please.' I mean, I'd be a pretty shit thief to draw deliberately draw a staff member's attention to my stolen item!

It was perfectly fine for the supervisor to say well done for checking but they should also have advised the staff member to do it in a less confrontational way.

But the time to have raised this would have been there and then.

This

But they didn't accuse her though. She felt accused that's the difference. Her anxiety has caused her to view this as an attack rather than an accident which can literally happen to anyone.

You deserved an apology. Honestly, we scan the items, bag the items and now get criticised if an error is made. Bless you. Put it out if your mind now

Well which is it? Was he standing right behind you the whole time, watching you like a hawk or shouting across a crowded supermarket?

I also don't think he was accessing you of stealing. If he hadn't cancelled that item off, the next person would have walked up to the till and found an item on there that they didn't physically have. He needed to get the transaction cancelled and needed to check what the situation was with you, the one that did it.

@Thalia31 His tone, expression and body language were all extremely accusatory. I appreciate it’s hard to judge when you weren’t there but this isn’t my anxiety colouring things. My anxiety is the reason that it stuck in my mind. Don’t disbelieve an anxious person just because of their mental health issues.

@RazzberryGem I’ve already covered this several times. I was walking away when he shouted and there was distance between us when there hadn’t been while I was scanning the things. You seem to think I’m making it up.

Have you ever been in a supermarket's self serve area? You can easily watch someone on a till at one end from the middle of the other end. It's literally how it's designed. It may be a "crowded supermarket" but no one's browsing shelves from the middle of the self service area. You're poking for inconsistencies that don't exist.

I don't think you're making it up, but I do think you're wildly exaggerating.

You're making it sound like you were being chased through a busy store by an accusatory shop worker with a taser and a pack of dogs, while every other shopper stopped what they were doing, dropped what they were holding and gawped at you in horror. "Shame" they all shouted. "Shame on you, thief!"

When in fact it was probably a bloke like 2 - 3 metres away from you that maybe caught the attention of about 2 - 3 other people who probably only looked up to check he wasn't trying to get their attention and didn't give a shit about the price of the item you accidentally scanned.

It just sounds like a whole lot of... not really much of an issue 🤷🏼‍♀️

Wow you have a good imagination to create such a vivid scene. You should write a novel or something. I don’t mind that you think I’m wildly exaggerating. I felt bad about the whole thing yesterday and today I’m feeling a bit better and like I can put it behind me. It did affect me at the time though so it’s not an issue to you, but to me it was 🤷‍♀️

People do shoplift at self checkouts. After queuing, I went up to one in my supermarket and it had a load of shopping already on it, I called the guy helping over and he tutted and said not again, he told me they were the second customers that day to scan everything and not pay, presumably they do it that way to make it look like they're paying before leaving.

Shoot me down, but doesn't everybody have anxiety at times?
I know I do. I try to deal with it in various ways. I wouldn't describe myself as anxious though.
Maybe the staff you were dealing with also have anxiety.
I am not minimising mental health issues but trying to make them proportionate.
I don't think the staff were particularly unreasonable. They were doing their job. It wasn't about you.
Try not to dwell on what happened.
I

In Ireland, under our legislation, you could take a case for defamation against the supermarket and easily have secured a minimum of a €10k out of court settlement for something like this. At least at the moment. Retailers are currently lobbying for a change in the legislation.

I'm so happy to hear you went back to the scene and are feeling better, OP, that's great news.

😂

Agree, it’s a non-event. It’s shocking the lack of empathy for supermarket staff who have to deal with understaffing, thieves and multiple customers simultaneously, most of them clamouring for attention due to finicky tills and/or user error.

"But the OP made a mistake!" is missing the point.

We seem to have wandered into this shitty customer service situation where supermarkets can boost profits by removing checkout staff, and the onus is then on customers to potentially risk humiliation if they ever make an error while doing the supermarket's bloody work for them.

I have a lot of empathy but it would stop if they are extremely rude to me or go straight for public humiliation rather than seeing whether a simple error has been made first.

"But the OP made a mistake!" is missing the point.

Depends what the point is. The OP has said, to paraphrase, "That man did the wrong thing! I did the wrong thing too, but that's not important, what's important is that HE did the wrong thing! And I have other stuff going on which is relevant, but I don't care if he has other stuff going on!"

For some posters, the double standards (i.e. expecting empathy, understanding, forgiveness while offering none of it) is the point.

There's also mixed views on whether, having made this mistake, being asked to come back and clear up a misunderstanding should be viewed as 'humiliation'.