To think they should have apologised for wrongly accusing me of shoplifting?

[Tyzbiscuit]

I was in a well known supermarket today with DP picking up a few things for dinner. I scanned my shopping at the self checkout, paid and printed the receipt (all while being watched by a member of staff standing right behind me.)

There wasn’t much room and we had 2 bags so DP packed one on the paid for side and I packed another nearer the scanner. As I put one of the items in the bag, it must have scanned on the scanner again without me noticing.

As we were walking away, the member of staff started shouting ‘excuse me!’. I stopped and turned to see him staring at me accusingly and pointing at the self service screen. I asked what he meant and he said I had to pay for the item and shouted the price loudly across to me. Everyone was staring at this point, it was embarrassing. I explained I’d paid and didn’t owe anything and showed my receipt with the item on it. He still just stood there until his supervisor (I assume) came over and told him it was fine and that ‘this happens sometimes’. There was no apology from either of them. As I turned around I heard the supervisor telling the staff member ‘well done for checking’ and it honestly gave me the rage. Why is it ‘well done’ to wrongly someone of shoplifting and then not apologise?

It’s left me with a horrible feeling and I feel judged as someone who would go around stealing. I think that bar codes should be deactivated once the item has been paid for to avoid this sort of thing happening. I feel like raising this with the supermarket because I am still angry.

I don't feel that it's 'public humiliation' to be challenged about whether you've paid for all of your shopping. They don't do it for fun. They do it when they genuinely think that a customer has stolen something. They check, you comply, all sorted. What's the alternative? They think someone is stealing but don't stop them because they don't want to hurt their feelings? I suspect thieves would have a field day once they knew that retailer didn't ever stop anyone. The issue is that people are prickly, sensitive and hugely offended if they are challenged on anything, and the rest of the world is supposed to care that they feel like that.

You do sound very unpleasant and superior, the way you talk about 'useless staff members' and them 'being in charge of standing around the till.' They are just people, like you, being paid to do a job and trying to do it despite unpleasant customers.

It's good that you complained to head office about them challenging you though. They'd have had a good laugh about it and were probably congratulated.

Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as unkind, I just think this whole situation is being massively overplayed.

He didn't accuse you of shoplifting, he reminded you to pay. He may well have assumed that you just forgot to pay. You're over dramatising that bit.

You think he was watching you like a hawk the whole time, and waited until you've walked a far distance before shouting to you. This reflects an assumption you have that other people are watching you, and only you, and that they act a certain way with you in mind. It's really unlikely that's the case. The more likely scenario is that he was staring into space but in your direction, his mind was wandering (because it's a bloody tedious job), then he clicked back into the present once you'd left, possibly a light on the checkout alerted him. He's not meant to chase after people, and I'm quite sure if he did you wouldn't have liked that either.

Ultimately you made the mistake here. It was a mistake, it was resolved, it shouldn't be a big deal.

This supermarket must be extraordinarily efficient if the staff member had the time to just stand there and watch you scan everything when it was busy. Usually if they’re alone at a busy time, they’re run ragged fixing errors on people tills, from items not being accepted by the till scale, to the till asking if you want to add a bag.

A bit of empathy wouldn’t go amiss, these people deal daily with the dregs of society who think the supermarket is theirs to take from for free.

I think they may also be questioned on the number of cancelled transactions each day, because if there’s too many then it possibly means lots of theft. You could make their life easier by checking the transaction is complete before you walk away.

You’d be surprised. Most shoplifters are not organised crime gang members! they’re ordinary people who either make a mistake or chance their arm thinking no one will notice that they didn’t scan something and just put it straight into their bag. That’s why lots of self service tills have cameras on them!

Then I think the only solution for me is not to shop with a newborn which is why I’ve never been back. I don’t really want some over enthusiastic till assistant going anywhere near my brand new baby in his pram just because some scruffy bastards don’t want to pay for their carrots. Definitely barking up the wrong tree with me.

I think that bar codes should be deactivated once the item has been paid for to avoid this sort of thing happening.

I don’t think you understand how barcodes work. It is your responsibility to check that the till is ready for the next customer.

DD worked in our local supermarket and you wouldn’t believe the amount of stealing that goes on at self scan checkouts. The employee wasn’t out to get you but trying to stop the wave of petty thieving that goes on by self scan. I understand why you were embarrassed but you seem to be under the impression that it was personal and while being responsible for several tills that they should have been aware of your mistake.

I hate UK self service tills because they are such a phaff and use them only when I have no choice or have a small number of items.

No. What you (and others who think it's OK to be treated like that by supermarket staff) miss is the huge power asymmetry between the two sides, shopper and supermarket.

Consider:

1. Shopper makes a mistake, fails to pay at till. Supermarket labels shopper a thief. Result: shopper's life ruined for a mistake.
2. Supermarket makes a mistake, labels shopper a thief when item actually paid for. Result: nowt, supermarket continues to make huge profits off the back of ordinary people's necessities.

What should happen in case (2)? -- It's obvious: copious apologies by staff, allied to a tiny amount of said huge profits paid to shopper in compensation.

I'm astonished at how many people think supermarkets should be let off treating people so badly when a supermarket's raison d'être is anyway just to make as much money as it possibly can from these people by any means it can think of.

I read once about someone who used to make something of a hobby of leading store detectives to think he'd shoplifted, and then doing rather well financially by claiming damages with threats of slander proceedings. Not sure how true it was, but it does illustrate the fact that shop employees really need to be careful about shouting even implied accusations at people in public.

How many people are seriously going to empathise with someone who has shouted at them and publicly treated them like a thief? Be realistic.

There's no point making a complaint or talking about barcodes. It was a simple error on your part, and the possibly new staff member was just following protocol. Their manner may not have been great but it might be their first shift. I'd be nervous of approaching someone over this, as some shoplifters can get nasty. It's a good job you had your receipt!

TBH there’s an absolute epidemic of shoplifting recently, so I can’t altogether blame them for being so vigilant.

I do know how it feels, though! I once neglected to take my receipt from the self checkout, but hadn’t realised that there was a security tag on the underside of a pack of steak, which I only buy once in a blue moon.

So I was stopped at the exit, taken back between 2 guards to stand there like a thief while they went through the bin to find my receipt. Thank God they found it!!
But there was no apology.

This was Asda, and I still think that any such item should automatically summon a staff member to remove the tag.

General result, though, I now ALWAYS take my receipt, however little I’ve spent.

But it has happened to me. Several times. It didn't stay with me for five minutes let alone for the rest of my life. I honestly think if something like this stays with you for the rest of your life you really need to get some help with your mental health and your view of the world and your place in it.

Why on earth would I take something like this personally.

Likewise, it’s happened to me quite a few times down the years. It’s never stuck in my mind particularly.

Assuming it didn’t involve a member of staff being a total dickhead, I think people who get terribly upset by this are the kind of people who think there’s a shoplifting ‘type’, and that the shopfloor staff are choosing to insult them by identifying them as that ‘type’, rather than immediately recognising they’re ’not like that’.

The fact is I do and if you have not realised the fact, everyone is different

Exactly, I hand over my receipt to Tesco every time I buy clothes there or a leg of lamb etc.

I really don’t understand why people are so offended by this.

OP wasn’t accused of being a thief, she scanned an item and was reminded she needs to pay.

I really think this comes down to superiority, as in how dare a supermarket worker challenge them.

I'll be honest, my experience in retail predates self-service till.

Does the training these days say "after you've caught the customer's attention, and they've turned round and stopped to engage with you, yell out an accusation of theft for everyone to hear as you approach instead of waiting a few seconds to discuss discreetly"?

It's a bit mad if so.

This is hyperbole, ‘he said I had to pay for the item’ does not constitute an accusation of theft.

I’ve seen people on self-scans make a sharp exit after not paying, so the staff’s instincts would have been to give a short and sharp instruction to prevent a potential thief leaving unchallenged, especially as most thieves are belligerent when caught.

Right, so OP stopped and quietly turned round, but she still had to be yelled at on the presumption of belligerence?

@exomoon I can assure you it’s not superiority. I am always doubting myself and worrying, there is no sense of superiority about me. I just get anxious in situations like this.

I listened to the posters on here and decided to put this behind me and not think about it. I walked to town today because I needed to visit the pharmacy and even went back to the same supermarket to buy things for lunch. And I used the self checkout (it wasn’t the same member of staff there as yesterday luckily). I feel happier now.

I'm happy you're happy OP, but if you change your mind, this is worthy of a complaint. The honest mistake of thinking you hadn't paid was one thing, but that couldn't be possibly be the correct way to approach.

I agree. It might make them consider how to treat their customers in the future.

Good for you op. So pleased you went straight back in the shop with your head held high 😁

I’ve got this little fridge magnet with a saying on because I can be a bit of a worrier sometimes..

Today is the tomorrow I was worried about yesterday- and everything’s fine

I hope your day continues to be fine! X

That's brilliant @Tyzbiscuit . It sounded like that was a tough thing for you to do, but you did it anyway.

Of course people are different from one another. But there tends to be similarities in human reactions to certain incidents. For example, most people would have let this incident go out of their minds after a couple of days, then some people after a month or so, but only a tiny, tiny, tiny amount of people would give an interaction like this the power to affect their emotions for the rest of their lives. And those people would usually have very poor resilience and coping skills - probably due to something else. Those people don't need to live their lives like that. With help, most can overcome such fixed mindsets.