To think they should have apologised for wrongly accusing me of shoplifting?

[Tyzbiscuit]

I was in a well known supermarket today with DP picking up a few things for dinner. I scanned my shopping at the self checkout, paid and printed the receipt (all while being watched by a member of staff standing right behind me.)

There wasn’t much room and we had 2 bags so DP packed one on the paid for side and I packed another nearer the scanner. As I put one of the items in the bag, it must have scanned on the scanner again without me noticing.

As we were walking away, the member of staff started shouting ‘excuse me!’. I stopped and turned to see him staring at me accusingly and pointing at the self service screen. I asked what he meant and he said I had to pay for the item and shouted the price loudly across to me. Everyone was staring at this point, it was embarrassing. I explained I’d paid and didn’t owe anything and showed my receipt with the item on it. He still just stood there until his supervisor (I assume) came over and told him it was fine and that ‘this happens sometimes’. There was no apology from either of them. As I turned around I heard the supervisor telling the staff member ‘well done for checking’ and it honestly gave me the rage. Why is it ‘well done’ to wrongly someone of shoplifting and then not apologise?

It’s left me with a horrible feeling and I feel judged as someone who would go around stealing. I think that bar codes should be deactivated once the item has been paid for to avoid this sort of thing happening. I feel like raising this with the supermarket because I am still angry.

The exact same thing happened to me. I went back and we sorted it out. I didn't mind them doing their job. I spoke to them respectfully and they responded similarly. I acknowledge that retailers do need to protect themselves from theft. I didn't feel embarrassed because mistakes happen. I didn't feel the need to write a letter of complaint because I think they should be allowed to stop suspected thieves. I really think the whole world needs to stop feeling so offended and affronted all the time.

I think you SHOULD go back to this shop and I think you SHOULD use the self-service (even though I disapprove of them in general. Anxiety feeds on avoidance. The more you avoid doing ordinary things the more anxious you will become.

You've already been accused of shoplifting and lived to tell the tale so what's the worst that could happen? I go to my local Morrisons every other day. I'd say every third time I go I set off the alarms and the security guard has a look at my receipt and checks my shopping. We have a laugh about it. Because I know I haven't stolen anything and he's just doing his job.

What did your partner think? Was he angry with the cashier as well, or was he trying to reassure you that it was a mistake?

It definitely helps to talk things through with a partner if you’re worried you’re getting in a spin over something.

My partner was angry because he saw the way it was handled and didn’t agree with it. He wasn’t with me when I went back, he had walked out of that area and I’d been following him when the man called me back. He was particularly annoyed with the manager congratulating the staff member afterwards. He did talk about it with me and has made me feel better.

@CRE2024 You're absolutely right about anxiety thriving on avoidance. I don’t really want to change my routine because of this one thing but also I don’t want to see that staff member or his supervisor again. So it’s difficult.

Glad your dp has made you feel better. Sometimes it doesn’t help to have a partner revving up a situation by getting angry but I guess he felt protective?

I always think it helps like @CRE2024 says, to laugh about things like this. It’s a bit ridiculous if it was all over a mis scanned tin of beans or whatever!
Life can feel a bit absurd sometimes.

What's the worst thing that can happen if you do see them again? They'll likely have completely forgotten about it. They see hundreds of faces every day. And if they remember, they may well feel a bit embarrassed that they made a mistake.

Working in retail is so difficult, the customer thinks they are always right, constant criticism when staff members like this are just doing their jobs, shoplifting is rife and the amount of times you are threatened to have your face smashed in or you are screamed at shouted at.

There was an outstanding item at the self serve, he called you back. The issue was sorted. Most people nowadays have anxiety and are perpetually offended. You should be glad the worker was on guard to notice, the amount of shoplifting increases the prices for everyone.

Deactivate the barcode 😂😂

I usually scan everything, pay then pack. The packing area doesn't accept my backpack as a bag when I've tried to put it down first.

That's the sales assistant job to check if everyone is paying for goods at the self. scan. He saw a transaction on the screen and a customer walking away so as far as he was aware the customer hadn't paid for the goods. If he hadn't of asked you about it, he would've got into trouble for not checking. The stealing from self scan is shocking so they have to check.

Oh, where there is a tiny packing area I might put my bag on the scanning bit to pack it as the shopping is on the packing area. So I could maybe accidentally scan something again.

Absolutely. The worst thing to do is try to avoid something that made you feel a bit unsettled or panicked. Your world will become increasingly small if you avoid anything that might make you feel anxious x

If the scanners were designed better so you could pack as you go, rather than having to use the scales, things would be much easier.

Yes, they do make it difficult. Even with a bag for life I have to take items out to rearrange things so they fit and don't squash for the walk home. It doesn't like repacking. Or if the bag is resting against anything affecting the weight. Very fussy.

If it’s any consolation I was followed around my local Waitrose and the security guard radioed the till staff to ‘make sure’ I had paid for everything on the self service till. I had something resting on the pram - baby was only a few weeks old - the staff member even touched the pram. (I think I shot her a filthy look because she recoiled quite quickly) At that point like you I had barely been out as the birth had left me a bit traumatised and the whole thing made me angry. They’re too over zealous these shop workers. I must have looked enough like sh*t that day that i resembled whatever they deem a shoplifter looks like. Sad really. I didn’t go out much again after that. People are worse after Covid. I know everyone says this but I do really believe people are more aggressive, more rude and just generally not as pleasant.

People may not agree but I’m sorry they upset you. You’re just a person going about your daily life. They didn’t need to shout and humiliate you.

Supermarkets have become quite unfriendly places to shop now. Ours have put up all these gates to go in and out like they had 30+ years ago. Tesco even has a display in front of the one exit gate now so if they don't have what I want I need to walk out through the self service.

@Doratheexplorer1 mothers storing things in prams and then “forgetting to pay” is an absolutely notorious shoplifting trick, has been for years now.

I’m with you OP, obviously they need to do their job but could have been more discreet and it wouldn’t have hurt to apologise .

My son (then aged 12) was (wrongly) of shoplifting in our local ASDA so I understand how stressful and awful it can be.

He bought a phone charger and paid for it at self-checkout without getting a bag and pressed no for receipt. Then he went bag round to buy some sweets whilst holding the charger. Admittedly it looked suspicious and the security guard questioned him when he left but let it go.

However 2 weeks later we both go back to our local store (where we visit almost daily anyway) and same security guard accosts us when we leave and then shows me the footage of my son ‘shoplifting’ - at the front entrance. My son (also ASD) tries to explain what happen, before going into meltdown, guard gets angrier and angrier. I’m in tears trying to get the truth from my son and begging him to check the earlier CCTV. The other guards have to step in to calm this guy down. We eventually leave and 20 mins I get phone call from store manager, they’ve checked the footage and my son didn’t steal the charger.

We did get an apology and a £20 voucher, my son was anxious for months after that though.

We didlike these machines but are seriously careful and double check item is showing on screen as paid

To avoid 'error' messages we just scan an item and place it on the weighing tray - we often have 30-40 quids worth of items and when the last item is put through and until we paid and the machine states its accept our payment and we have the receipt, only then do we start putting the items into the bag

IMO, the shop staff were only doing their job and take a tip from me - do as we do and you will be ok

You are making a big deal out of something that was just a mistake. He didn't accuse you of shoplifting, he was just doing his job. It was your mistake for rescanning the item. It was easily resolved 🤷‍♀️ I would assume they are suspicious of people because they see many people who do shoplift and then pretend it's a mistake when they're caught out!

Please read my previous post ie what we do as imo, hanging the bags will always start to show an error message and you have to call staff.

Or use the self service machine with the belt, its easier to use but we still just lay out shopping on the weiging try and only once the machine has accepted our payment, we start to pack it carefully - some people give dirty looks but we are doing it as fast as we can so they can ... themselves

If it has never happend to you, you feel it for the rest of your life - hence we are very careful and always get a reciept, even car park

Yes, sure, that’s exactly what I said 🙄
My till was the closest one to him. He was literally right next to me. Hence why I am confident he could see what I did. The self service area wasn’t crowded when I was scanning and paying.

Also perhaps take a moment to think about how insults like ‘self absorbed’ might feel to someone on the other side of the screen who has had a rough day and is feeling fragile.

This is a tad dramatic.

As a store manager (and I appreciate it’s different rules in different stores) every time a colleague voids an item off the self service machine either through accidental scan, non payment etc this is logged and you have to asses this every week. If the company deems number of voids too high there has to be an investigation, head office will come do an audit watch cctv and staff can be disciplined.

this is why staff are ‘over zealous’ when it comes to keeping an eye on the self service machines. Its is their job. They can be punished. They are normally paid minimum wage and are treated like crap by the general public. Self service machines are an absolute hotspot for shoplifting they’re doing their jobs.

sometimes if a transaction doesn’t go through a member if staff has to shout the customer back. It doesn’t mean they’re accusing them it’s just to sort the issue and make sure every transaction is correct.

Nothing "dramatic" whatsoever

"sometimes has to shout at customer to get back" - why, are they tied to a pole? Cant they just walk up to them?