To never contribute £ to a person leaving work collection ever again?

[pawpawgingins]

Manager announced that the colleague is leaving and as usual, a card and collection.
I contribute £10 and wrote a lovely message.

I always contribute and always the same $ regardless of who it is UNLESS I had no interactions with the leaver at all which is rare.

< In my last job I used to do the ssme but used to do £5 since I earned a lot less (once the secretary told me that I was too generous because someone on 3x my wage gives only £3) but anyway…>

So I contributed £10 plus drinks at the pub. All good.

After 4 weeks of working somewhere else, colleague decides they don’t like their new job and asks the boss to come back. Since the position was still vacant with everybody else (includinv me) picking up the slack, colleague walks back as if they never left.

I mean, I know colleague shouldnt give anyone’s money back of course and it is not the future leavers fault and they shouldn’t be penalised but I’m massively put off now.

But having said that, when I left my last job, I did have some lovely gifts and a gift card which is no nice but I’m now thinking this culture should end.

Will feel super bad if I don’t contribute moving forward though, it is such a habit.

I know how you feel. We had one colleague who kept leaving and being persuaded to come back (staff shortages) - I think she had three leaving dos!

Depends what your office norm is. If your leaving present is £30 worth of Oliver Bonas type stuff (I'd say this was pretty average), you only need to put in £10 if there are 3 of you contributing. If there are 30 of you contributing you'd only need to put in £1. £10 is usually going to be too much unless close colleagues in a small team.

I’ve played myself 😳😭

From now on I'd put a pound in each time, so I'm not bothered by the whole thing. A tenner is ridiculous, unless they were my friend!

£10 is way too much for a colleague, I normally drop a couple of quid in the pot if I liked them and nothing if I didn’t.

That’s better than what happened in my old workplace. Someone who’d been with the department for more than two decades announced she was leaving. People contributed generously, plus organised drinks and dinner and had a tearful send-off on Friday afternoon. Monday morning she strolled in and sat at her desk like nothing had happened.

It turned out that she’d used quitting as a way to orchestrate a promotion and had no intention of leaving. She didn’t return the cash she’d been given!

Just contribute £1 or £2 in future

I've had people call by lunchtime on the Monday, asking to come back! We write off the present and they tend to buy some nice treats and be first to the bar at the next night out to "pay back" the gift value

YANBU. So much easier just to have a no gift policy for occasions at work.

Something good that came out of covid and extended WFH is we don't do joint leaving presents or have awkward speeches/presentations anymore unless someone is actually leaving the company.

For changes of roles, engagements/weddings, new babies, apprentices passing exams, passing driving tests etc someone will send round an e-card for us to sign and that's it.

Yes that's absolutely what she should have done 🙄🤣... I don't think that's the point op is trying to make..

I had this happen with someone leaving twice and coming back. I didn't contribute the second time. She has now left again... Collection reached over £500.. absolutely ridiculous. Got told last week she's coming back as a contractor 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Definitely contribute less in future! However if I was the colleague who left and came back I'd be quietly feeling very awkward about the fact people chipped in for a leaving gift. Perhaps they are well aware and quite uncomfortable about it but don't know how to raise it (if it should be raised at all, it's not like they asked for a gift). But this is life and sounds like a one-off.

A paper card would be better and more of a keepsake. There are some lovely ones for £1 - £1.50

Yabu it's just one of them things do you feel the same about wedding gifts when the couple divorce a few months later

Well she did you a favour by coming back so! 😄 And she won't need any training up. Everyone's a winner!

Except you. Sorry about your tenner...

Not practical for us as most teams are in different locations (and countries!)

With the added bonus it saves trees too! 🌲

I’d be a bit annoyed but I don’t think the person would’ve left thinking they’d be coming back

Although I always contributed for fear of getting a reputation as tight, I always thought the idea of a leaving gift collection was a bit off, especially when the preferred gift was usually vouchers. In my workplace, almost everyone leaving was going on to a better paid position elsewhere but there was an expectation that one of the admin staff (who were already really busy) would take the time to organise a card/collection then everyone in the office (including the most junior staff) would contribute. So quite often the leaver received £££ in vouchers paid for mainly by lower paid staff, by way of congratulations on leaving for a much higher salary somewhere else in town. Personally, I think if the owners of the business felt the person leaving should be thanked for their efforts the business should buy them a gift and for everyone else a card and turning up for a goodbye drink is enough.

I think you're making too much of this. They didn't do this all just to get a gift and it's not a lot of money individually. You chose to put in £10. Put in less in future if you think it's too generous.

I wouldn't blame future leavers for this one person. however, if this person decides to leave again (while you are still working there), I probably wouldn't contribute to theirs again.

We had someone do this once, and when she left the second time, she just received a bottle of wine and card.

One place I worked had a scheme of collecting money off staff annually which was supposed to cover these sort of things - leaving gift, babies, weddings etc. Fine in principle but too many staff members dodged the request and never contributed. I put my share in for years but by the time I came to leave they'd abandoned the idea and I got nothing back. Slightly galling but what can you do?

I also think £10 is a bit overly generous. If everyone in a fair sized work team puts in £1 -5 then it's enough to get a decent gift.

That was exactly me once. Came back after eight weeks away back into my old job. V embarrassed about the generous leaving gift but v happy to be back with a much nicer company. I just asked for no leaving gift when I finally left again four years later.

Why haven't your company hired someone to fill the vacancy? They should have started as soon as the other left.

You shouldn't be expected to do someone else's job as well, I know it happens, but a month is too long.

You need to pull back from the job, the company and the colleagues a bit.
Give less money, chill out, do less.
Become less connected to it, then you won't have these worries. .

I genuinely do not understand what you are annoyed about? It's not like anyone intentionally ripped you off, it just happened. I'm sure the leaver/returner was really sad her new job didn't work out. What do you want? your money back?

Don't worry, when you leave I'm sure you will get the same treatment.

Similar happened at a place I worked once. Manager left to work at a difference branch, it didn't work out so he returned. I have never until this moment thought about his leaving gifts OR the farewell party we threw him.