To never contribute £ to a person leaving work collection ever again?

[pawpawgingins]

Manager announced that the colleague is leaving and as usual, a card and collection.
I contribute £10 and wrote a lovely message.

I always contribute and always the same $ regardless of who it is UNLESS I had no interactions with the leaver at all which is rare.

< In my last job I used to do the ssme but used to do £5 since I earned a lot less (once the secretary told me that I was too generous because someone on 3x my wage gives only £3) but anyway…>

So I contributed £10 plus drinks at the pub. All good.

After 4 weeks of working somewhere else, colleague decides they don’t like their new job and asks the boss to come back. Since the position was still vacant with everybody else (includinv me) picking up the slack, colleague walks back as if they never left.

I mean, I know colleague shouldnt give anyone’s money back of course and it is not the future leavers fault and they shouldn’t be penalised but I’m massively put off now.

But having said that, when I left my last job, I did have some lovely gifts and a gift card which is no nice but I’m now thinking this culture should end.

Will feel super bad if I don’t contribute moving forward though, it is such a habit.

I think yanbu but purely because I too gave to collections but got no leaving collection after my 16 years for the company. I was on parental leave and got made redundant just before my return. If I contribute again it would only be a few quid up to a fiver max

You are very generous. I was the secretary and I never gave a penny. Most directors on 100k gave a fiver, lol.
This happened to me once, in that I spent my own money on a load of snacks for the whole team of about 50 when one guy was leaving. Also bought loads of drinks in the pub. He'd been there years and was quite popular. Making some grand move abroad. Skinted myself but thought it was a nice gesture.
One month later, guy comes back cap in hand and walks straight into his old job again!?
I was like, gimme me beer and kettle chips back you bastard! Lol, not really but I felt very peeved.

In the past I used to contribute a few pounds for someone I knew but wasn't overly friendly with, someone that I knew very well I would take for lunch including my direct reports. I think with remote working and electronic payments no one is putting £2 in the kitty anymore and when you collections for babies, significant birthdays, bereavement, operations, leaving it's like the cost of a cheap gym membership...

I genuinely thought that 5s and 10s were normal.

When the secretary told me someone gave 3 once I just put it down to that particular person being a tight fist as we all knew they were tight fist in general.

I’m not a high earner, bottom of the pyramid role in both jobs

Will probably adjust to a 2 or 3 now if I have a good relationship with the person and 0 if I didn’t like them.

I think it also depends on the size of the team. If you have a tiny team and you all stick £2 then that's a bit mean. Personally I wouldn't stick in less than £5 unless I actively disliked the person. or they are a lazy b*gger

This happened in a place I worked years ago. We just laughed about it and joked with the person about wanting the presents back. But it doesn't really matter does it?
I suppose we should take the same approach as people take to loaning money, don't give what you can't afford to lose.

I'd just laughingly say so the newbie drinks are on you then.

This sounds all way over the top for a leaving for a new job. Perhaps different if she was retiring, but OTT even for a retirement!

One place I worked for stopped all collections. There were a couple of incidents where someone who by the by the nature of their job knew everyone and got a big collection while someone else in the same team barely got a bunch of daffodils.

A card would go round but the company would buy a gift but only if the person had been with the business for 2 years.

We stopped doing this ages ago in all my work places. Leaver gets a bunch of flowers and a card paid by the company and that's it.

I'm sure the person didn't plan to come back.

If you're annoyed, then 1. Ask for your money back and 2. Just don't contribute again.

Minor thing to even spend a thought on in my opinion.

Happened to me once but its fine just don't put it when they leave again :)

That sounds like a blooming good idea

This surely doesn't happen most of the time. Also, if you made a move and quickly realised you made a mistake, wouldn't you consider trying to get your old job back if it was available? I don't think I could begrudge this. It's not like it was an elaborate scam to get leaving gifts. Sounds like the person who left regretted it and so is coming back. They may have enjoyed some leaving gifts and drinks, but I imagine they've had a stressful few weeks too if they dislike their new job so much that they're looking to escape it already!

That is sensible .

Try spending a decade contributing to eleven billion wedding, maternity leave and birth collections. I spent hundreds of pounds on this in my thirties and now realise it’s unlikely to ever be my turn so I’m no longer bothering.

One woman got SIX collections in that decade, the single childless women got none.

I hate workplace collections and wish the trend would just end!

There were so many at work quite a few who I barely knew. There was an envelope and we ticked our name when we put in. If it was someone I barely knew it was just a couple of pounds someone I worked directly with five pounds. If I enjoyed working with the person I used to send my own card with memories of working with them.

In my place of work we give £2-5 depending on closeness. Sometimes a manager might put in more. I usually give £3. Our department has expanded in the last year quite significantly so from now on I'll only donate if I know the person. Plenty of people never participate.

So feel free to not participate or reduce the amount. However, this specific case witha colleague is not too common so if you reduce the amount then it will feel less crappy.

Optimum would be the employer paying for it. But that ain't gonna happen

Rather than thinking the money bought you a month of hard work, think of it as the money having bought you an experienced person who hit the ground running. A new starter would have needed training and hand holding and would have been more hindrance than help for a lot longer. If you had just booted the leaver out they may not have come back at all. Instead they loved the place enough to walk back in and crack on. P.S. I only give £2 unless it's someone special to me.

I hate work collections there is always one going on and it's only a 100 of us in the office but they do it for weddings, special bdays, leavers etc. I didn't get a collection done for my 40th and when I moved departments I only got a bottle of prosecco (between all the people in the dept) then I was asked by my old department to contribute for one of the girls 40th for a dinner voucher 🤣. I don't contribute anymore. One of my closest colleagues decorated my desk and gave me a pressie so I will just do the same for her, it just not keen on the constant collections....

If I was the leaver I would have donated the leaving gift amount to charity and sent an email to explain and thank everyone for their generosity.

I wouldn't be annoyed about the specific situation, wasn't anyone's fault. However if someone job hops regularly not only are they getting lots of leaving presents every year or so, they're also getting salary increases regularly. If I stayed in the same job for years I don't think I'd bother too much with leaving gift contributions as I wouldn't be getting the same presents and wage increases. That might be a bit petty but whatever, I'd just put in a couple of quid. I wouldn't put in so much I'd end up resentful.

I think you're being incredibly tight. It's not as if people return to their previous jobs on a regular basis. When I stopped working for one of my schools a few years ago, the governors bought me a lovely present but they weren't happy with my replacement and persuaded me to go back a year or so later. No-one was funny about the present I had been given, but I assume that I won't get another leaving present when I retire in a couple of years time.

@pawpawgingins - unless you’re very highly paid or in a very senior role or close colleagues with the person leaving, £10 is a lot to contribute. I think you’ll find it’s a lot more than most people put in. I understand your annoyance but you may be less bothered if you paid less and I do think it’s fine to pay less.

I'd ask for a refund.

The gift was given with the expectation that they piss off permanently. This implies a contract. You might have been looking forward to them leaving! - this has now ruined your week!

(I'm not particularly social as you might have guessed)