To think alot of women don't have their 'girl gang'?

[SlB09]

Doom scrolling through social media, got me thinking, do most women have a 'girl gang'? Or is this saved for those who remained in the place they grew up/got lucky/other reasons or dissipates as you get older?

I have I handful of close women friends I've made along the way, none remain from school. But they are separate friends so to speak, no 'girl gang' and I think I only know one or two other females who have this type of friendship group (I'm 40). Sometimes wish I had it and other times happy as I am.

What are your experiences?

This threadcisxso interesting. I always thought I was a bit strange not having a ' gang' of friends who I regularly hung out with. The last time I did that was when I had babies and hung out with my NCT mates, but we all went our different ways when the kids got older. I have separate friends who I enjoy seeing, but they are longtime friends from before children and I see them when I can, and it's brilliant, but all of us are the same. Don't really do the big gang together, maybe a bit introverted and busy with our own lives, so don't really have the time frankly.

I couldn’t cope with a girl gang, even if I had one. I’m a massive introvert and need a hell of a lot of quiet and alone time. The constant pressure to go out, go on groups holidays, or whatever, would be too much. I’d constantly make excuses and they’d get sick of me.

@Whoknewitwasthishard very insecure shy introverted child, didn't have or learnt he skills of friendship and grew up in a very small village so kind of got handed friends onna plate at school! As an adult I honestly just had to get over my own insecurities and cringe and gradually learnt to say yes to anything, most of all to ask and suggest doing things and generally people say yes and it goes from there. But for me it is hard work, I am still introverted and shy but have learnt spending time with people gets me out of my head so have literally just had to come at it as learning a new skill. I still don't have tonnes of friends but feel more confident now.

No, I find it hard to keep friendships going tbh, I tend to have a friend for a few years, usually they befriend me rather than the other way around then something happens, I move, they move, have children etc and never see them again and move on to the next friend.

My parents didn’t ever have any friends when I was growing up and they never encouraged me to have friends, if anything they sabotaged friendships, so I think I just never learned how.

@SoupChicken I've come to view it as a definite skill that some seem to be naturally gifted at and one needs to work at

I have 3 friends I could ring 24/7 with an issue and have done and then many other really decent friends. But I prefer one to one meetings or very small groups. The times I have been invited away with a huge group I have often turned the invite down. I see at least a couple of friends every week but I do not mix them. I belong to a women’s hiking group but I only ever sign up for the smaller walks, up to around six. About a quarter of them so about 25 women are planning two residential trips, my very lovely mate is going so I would happily share a room with her but it’s just too many people for three days and two nights.

Im actually one of 5 sisters so had a gang not of my choosing for many years !

I don't. I'm 27 and don't have a group of friends. Mainly dh, work friends & my siblings (9 of them, 5 which are sisters)

I am in a few circles of women friends, including a virtual one that started on Mumsnet 14 odd years ago.

I would never describe them as a 'girl gang'.

I also have an official best friend but we've never been joined at the hip. I hate feeling possessed and I wriggle out of anything that intense.

I'm very ill at the moment and my local friends have all rallied round to support when DH is at work. There is also one of us going through an extremely traumatic break up and she is being well-supported too.

I don't know how it happened that these circles formed. A lot of forgiveness at times. A lot of fun. A whole understanding about not getting FOMO. I suppose we've worked at it. A lot of our DHs are friends but in smaller groups than the wider women's circle.

No wouldnt have a big group. Find people busy busy so you cant rely on them. Sisters have young kids. Its hard. Def makes me independent. I find women dont put effort into friendships now. Im 50s

I don't have a 'girl squad' no. I find the whole concept a little cringey, if I'm honest. It reminds me of Taylor Swift c. 2016, and then afterwards it was clear that she wasn't really close friends with a lot of these women at all: she is a loyal friend who has some real close friends (Blake Lively, Emma Stone, etc.) but the 'girl gang' was PR.
What I do have is plenty of good friends of both sexes. I feel no need to socialise in a big group, though. I much prefer meeting one to one or in a much smaller group.

Yes. I'm in a group of 7 women who met at the school gate so mumsnetters will roll their eyes I'm sure. We have children of varying ages who all went to the village school but are now at different senior schools. When we get together we rarely talk about the kids.

We do something special like a weekend break for big birthdays and whoever is free will get together for drinks or dinner fairly regularly. Some of us have closer friends in the group than others and their kids are still friends but as a group we don't live in each other's pockets and don't know all each other's business.

They're a very down to earth lot who don't create drama and don't demand much from each other but I know I can rely on them. I feel very lucky to have them.

No eyerolling from me, despite my previous post. I don't think that there's anything wrong with a large group of friends. It is more the marketing of 'girl gang' and 'squad goals' which I find a bit cringe, not the group itself, if that makes sense.

No eye roll here! You're lucky.

I don't think a girl gang would be for me. I'm much better at one to one relationships or small groups. At school I found the girl fang hard work too much bitchyness and dynamics.

I would however love a best friend/any friend but it just seems very hard to find once you have young children work from home and don't have much time/money for outside hobbies. I don't drink and i dont drive so I'm not exactly great friendship material it seems to most. I'm quite intellectual (not snobby I promise) but I'm not into reality tv or what I see as more superficial friendships just about shopping or drinking. Now I know a whole variety of people exist and everyone is different I'm just not meeting my kind of people. I'm also introverted so I need peace and alone time to function. I just cannot get enough of that with young children so last thing I want to do is essentially speed dating through people to find a friend.

There’s quite a few around here. It’s a small town and they’ve all grown up around here and went to school together. I’m certainly not part of one.

A few girl gangs here. Most are related to each other or went to school together.
They seem happy enough , but some can be cliquey and I've never been part of anything like it myself, not my thing and can look a bit competitive ( from Facebook pics)
I've heard of a few who fall out , but I guess that's part of the territory too.

I had that till early thirties but then work /life seemed to get in the way. We now meet 2/3 times a year.

I've had mumfriends but that tended to taper off once kids started school. I've got a couple of friends I still Meet for coffee but not regularly.

We have some couple friends who we meet on a group but again a few times a year.

I mostly do stuff with my family.

I have a couple of groups of mum friends that I adore but my closest friends are seperate.
The mums are great for brunch/nights out/days with the kids but I'd never go to them with personal stuff.

I have 2 best friends, since we were about 13 - so 23 years now. But I moved away, so hardly see them. But chat weekly on WhatsApp and share kid photos a lot. Lots of support between us all.

I have no friends where I live. I’m not naturally a chatty person and I struggle to make friends. I’m really quite lonely on the friend front.

@MightyGoldBear are you me?!!!

I’m definitely not in a girl gang. I would find it too exhausting having to constantly consider and think about 5 or 6 people all the time.
I like being in my own company, being my own boss and not having to answer to a group of women who will be hurt and threaten the friendship if you say no to joining the group for “drinkies” or if you don’t reply to a message all day. Or if you fall pregnant after one of them has just gone through a loss and they all now hate you for it. Etc etc….

I couldn’t be doing with the constant walking on egg shells because someone is always feeling hurt or pissed off with someone.

I am lucky enough to have two 'girl gangs' (although I have never heard this phrase before and as some of of us are now pensioners it seems a bit inappropriate). One is a group of about 10 who know each other through DC's school and the church attached to the school. The other is a group of 6 women whose husbands were at school together. I'm also part of a group who attend the same yoga studios and occasional yoga holidays together.

I have other friends too, male and female and I value all of them. As PP have said, maintaining friendships takes work and I'm very grateful to those of my friends who have put in the effort when life circumstances meant I let things slip.

No girl gang. No friends of any sort.

@annperkins, i love your username!

I’m 40 and have my “group”. But we’re certainly not in each others pockets or spending every weekend together - we’ve all got families/children/jobs/pets/businesses/other friends to deal with. We have a WhatsApp group which gets a message most days and see each other in various combinations once a month at most. We don’t all live in the same city. Within the group there are people who are more friends with others, different overlapping circles.