I am 25 and living in my family home. I had been saving up for a deposit but am now actively looking for a house and making offers etc so hopefully will be moving out ASAP.
I had previously offered to give my mum money towards my food, electricity use etc as I am an adult and wanted to behave and be treated as such. She appreciated my offer but turned it down because I'm her daughter and she was adamant she didn't want to take money from me.
At the end of last year, my mum bought a new house, so I moved with her as I didn't have anywhere of my own. It is a large house towards the top of her budget. There is (in my opinion) adequate furniture but she says she still needs more and decoration etc. She has expensive taste; she is not buying from Ikea/Dunelm/John Lewis etc but from independent shops with more unique pieces of furniture. I do recognise that the house needs blinds.
In the last few weeks there has been conflict between us because she asked me to start contributing financially. However, this was not focused on the food or utilities that I use; her reasoning was, "I need to raise money for furniture somehow". I was surprised to hear this as based on this, had she stayed in the previous house, she would not be requesting money from me - what has changed is that she has moved house and is looking for sources of income for her furniture, not for my expenditure.
AIBU to say no to subsidising the furniture? Apart from blinds, she already has all the essentials; beds, tables, sofas etc. Some of it she brought from her previous house. She has since bought some things that I would see as 'extras' such as additional side tables, ornaments, dressers etc. Nice to have, but only if you save up for them and can afford to spend the money, not essential for living.
I am more than happy to contribute towards the extra costs she experiences because I am living in her house, but I don't want to pay for her non-essential furniture. She also could have chosen to buy a less expensive house that she could pay for more comfortably. I offered to pay for an online grocery shop, as I use the food, but she said that suggestion was me being controlling. She wants cash as she said, "it is my money and I can choose how I spend it". Who is being unreasonable?