To be a bit horrified by DHs suggestion that he works from home FT?

[Thecatisannoying]

I know I’ll probably get flamed but it’s awful.

You can’t just relax, constant one sided conversations, constant awareness of his presence, winding the children up by being in and out and out and in, no play dates, can’t do anything involving noise (so nothing basically)

I work three days a week. At the moment he wfh two days but five days a week no respite at all??

I don't have a problem with this. Hubby wfh a lot and I love it just knowing he is there and pops in for a laugh or to play with kids now and then during the day. When he is at work I miss him so it looks like I'm in a minority but I adore hubby being around as do the kids

I work 3 days a week (one day I wfh) my husband works at home 90% of the time and it is driving me crazy, I can't relax, can't clean properly and he's constantly talking to me about work stuff that I'm not interested in, I absolutely hate it

Perhaps he could have a pod/shed in the garden?

You need to sell it to him that he's better in the office

So start by having a play date every day, you know, with lots of very small children running wild around the house, screaming joyfully

Then once he's back in the office you can get back to peace and quiet 🙏☺️

My dh wfh most of the week, and I dread those days. I finish early today but am thinking about where I can go for an hour or so to avoid going home as he is there today. Our house is small and he works in the living room so there's no escape. Also, he is an absolute scruff and his desk (formerly dining table) and keyboard are covered in dust and god knows what. I will not touch it. Or him.
I'm guessing the wfh revolution has been the last straw for many marriages.

My dh has worked from home for 14 years. You adjust. And tbh I love it. He has his own office to close the door on and all the children are used to leaving daddy be if the door is closed. We don’t have to tip toe around or be quiet. He won’t deal with clients who have an issue with children noise. Helps he’s the boss though..

I couldn’t agree with you more OP. I have a FT wfh partner. For the past 4 years. Before that he worked all the hours in the office, not home until 9pm. The change is brutal. And it’s the no play dates thing that bothers me most. (And the fact I can’t have a nap on the sofa without feeling dreadfully guilty!!)

I like to encourage dh to use the office. I think my real winner was the "Chinese spy balloon" which may have been hovering around his head during one zoom call.

It was a beautiful moment, and as he blocks the background out during zoom calls only he knew about it. 🤣

I also liked the sea of protesters carrying banners proclaiming "Ban WFH" and "Go back to the office!" which he had to step over when going in and out of the study. I discovered the dc had a huge number of soft toys to use.

He does appreciate my sense of humour. He can't complain though. He has a hand puppet rabbit by the computer which he produces when he thinks they're "going down a rabbit hole" on the call.

PS I offered he some quite good alternatives to using the dining room table: The loft, the garage and the picnic table outside. The fact it was -3 when I offered them should not have put him off, should it? When he refused them, I said he'd made his choice. 😁

But this is ridiculous. I don't understand why you aren't just telling him that no play dates is incredibly selfish of him and not going to be happening. And why should you feel guilty?

Same here! I was stuck at home with illness/shielding, back to work then stuck again because of an injury. It was like living in a pressure cooker. I think we were doomed anyway but it definitely sped things up.

It isn’t possible to have a bunch of kids chasing each other around screaming whilst he is working. He has not banned it: I tried it and found it stressful and unworkable. Yes the guilty thing about a nap is rather ridiculous, and again, all on me - I’m sure he doesn’t give a monkey’s. The point is : my home does not feel like it did pre-Covid.
The other thing that’s a serious problem is the isolation it brings upon that person constantly working from home.

I've been thinking about your thread @Thecatisannoying a lot recently, as DH has started wfh more often, and I couldn't figure out why it bothers me so much.

Wow OP I’m really feeling this one today. If I hear one more shouted teams call about ‘the network’ and ‘the infrastructure’ I think I will lose it. He’s upstairs in his office and I can hear it through the floor. I wish I was at work, it feels more peaceful than my day off and as someone who works in a prison, I don’t say that lightly!