For those of us with very small families...

[crochetmonkey74]

Inspired by the best friend thread, a number of us on there have very small families. There's only me and my sibling now and I do really feel the aloneness of that. Anyone got a tiny family , how do you find it? Any coping tips?

We are actively trying to address any worries or sadness we have though. I don't see how a thread which might lead to people in this situation developing connections with others is depressing.

Unfortunately life isn't all rainbows and butterflies. Some of us are lonely with small families and it's surely OK for us to discuss that and try to help one another. We don't just have to stay silent for fear of upsetting someone with an only child. This is our thread and a place to discuss our situation and to connect with others.

Yes, there are definitely not many of us. I have however managed to make a friend in the same situation and that makes me feel less alone. I think it has also kind of improved my own self worth a bit too, as now I am 'important' to someone else too, if that makes sense. I am lucky to have found my friend though, I agree.

I have no partner or DC and I came to the conclusion that community is key - staying engaged. Close friends are important but they can pass through your life so it's really important to still maintain a connection through the community. Consciously thinking about where to live in later years.

Lots of assumptions there. Some of us will never be grandparents, ever.

I always felt I was in a small family because my mum (who was the oldest of 7), moved from her home country to marry my dad (English) after they had met in her country. My 2 siblings and I were born in the uk and so had very little connection with mum's family and dad was only child. Both my parents died when I was in my 20s. It kind of forced us sisters to to connect more, and then when husbands and kids came along, we did more. Through many annual uk holidays together we now have a big family, with nephews, nieces, siblings in law (so to speak) and it's glorious in a way I never imagined. A long way from 3 sisters, alone without parents all that time ago. Family does not have to be blood relatives, it's what you make it 😊

That's good advice. Would you mind sharing the kind of things you have done / are doing to be engaged in your community? I could do with some inspiration. Thank you.

For you it didn’t last forever. And that is nice for you. But for many of us yes it certainly will last forever.

Me 🙋🏼‍♀️

I’m singje (divorced) Elderly parents who live an hour away, one sister who lives 200 miles away, one adult son I see most days snd 2 cousins who live in Cyprus - that’s my entire family.

I don’t really think about it tbh. As they say you don’t miss what you’ve never had

Of course, mostly gym classes of late but also planning to move to a university town with lots of outside spaces. Previously set up a book club. Thinking of joining Toast Masters, ocassional cooking classes (but can be £) so can cook for friends, trying a womens golf academy. Would love to do respite foster care. Do Parkrun again and volunteer at one. Just for myself - singing lessons - could lead to a choir. Would also quite like to join or set up a group for seeing live classical music. I only have basic knowledge of classical music so would learn a lot.

Also going to talks (I've assumed people who go may want to talk!). May set up a going to comedy club.

Meetup.com is good.

There is just me. Parents dead, no siblings, no children. My closest family is an exDH who lives in another town. So far I am managing just fine (I'm almost 65).

There were only ever 3 of us for most of my Christmases. I wouldn't have had it any other way. Now there is just me and I'm perfectly happy.

I have a very small family and I've just lost my dog. I'm devastated 😢

I am so sorry you have lost your dog.

@FiveShelties
Thank you 😩 I miss him so much 😭

Yes, tiny. I was an only child, both my parents have died. My uncle and aunts have also died. I'm not married. Two adult DC, one with a severe learning disability who lives in supported living, and one with mental health problems. It feels like just me most of the time 🙁

I do have friends, thank goodness.

I feel like this too. Tiny family like you and I miss my mum for all those reasons, you explained it so perfectly. It’s awful sad. Sending hugs.

@Thunderandlightningisfrightening i wish I had been an only, my siblings have made my life miserable and I don't speak to them now.

I don't know many people now who get on with their siblings. It's never a guarantee that everyone will get on.

Thank you, there are lots of good suggestions there.

Me. I have a mum, grandfather (who probably won't be here much longer) and a DS, that's it. I have some extended family but barely see them.

Doesn't bother me. My friends are my family and I spend more time with them. Christmas is usually only me and DS, I love it, we can do whatever we want, cook whatever we want and it's a lot cheaper!

That’s not what the OP is about. The situation is the OP and a sibling. No children. How will that increase to an extended family of 15 from thin air? People posting on here about DP and DC could usefully reread the question because many of the responses are rubbing salt into the wound. It’s really hard.

My DCs that's about it.

No siblings.

No aunts or uncles.

No cousins I'll ever see again in my lifetime.

I see my parents but don't have a normal loving relationship with them. Eg I couldn't go to them with a problem.

I am my own safety net.

Well said.

Ageing Well Without Children has both male and female members. It can be a bit of a miseryfest on Facebook, especially at Christmas, but they have useful discussions https://www.awwoc.org

Thank you but I am not sure that organisation is for me. I am not yet 40 so I don't feel like I am aging (even though I obviously am). Also my lack of family isn't just down to having no children. It's a lack of siblings and cousins etc too.

I was thinking less about you (sorry!) than the person you were responding to. You suggested meeting people in the same situation, both online and IRL. This is one way of doing that. Fine if you personally don’t want this resource, of course, but other people might