When did it become a thing to bring your dog to other peoples houses ?!

[Flowersandforests]

DH & I bought a house last year & have been really enjoying having friends / family over - but I’m getting soooo fed up of people asking / assuming their dog is invited too!!

I spent all of last Saturday cleaning my house & then friends bought their dog along so I had to reclean the whole house the next day to get rid of all the dog hair etc. I even found dog hair in my bed the next day 😱

We even had a friend who bought some manky sausages & asked us to cook them for the dog!!! I was trying not to gag.

I’ve started trying to say no, but find people take it soo personally if you don’t embrace their dog too. We’ve also had friends say they can’t leave the dog so would have to cancel (an hour before they were due to arrive) so I feel like my hand is being always being forced.

Has this always been a thing ??!! AIBU to think it’s rude and you should leave your pets at home.

That's rude. Its not happened to me, but if it did with a casual caller, I would say -"We don't have dogs in the house. Can you leave him/her outside?" Maybe suggest where they could tie it to something.

We say no now. The same guests still come.

A couple of people have asked us, but it’s a hard no. The cat doesn’t like them, and it’s her home. I don’t particularly like them either, but the cat is an unanswerable reason.

Nobody has ever asked if they can bring their cat.

Better class of person a cat lover.

When we got a dpuppy my mate invited me round and specifically asked I bring it. It shit me the new rug...
She wasn't invited back. Her choice and made no difference to our friendship at all. My ds had a ddog once and brought it over. But we had some ourself and huge outdoor space so he never came in further than the utility room anyway. Never ever taken any of them to anyone else's in 15 years of owning a ddog..
As a dc family ddogs went to each other's houses..

I love dogs. I have dogs that I obviously adore.
I haven't met a dog I didn't like. Much rather dogs than people.

I would never- NEVER- take my dog to somebody's house unless she was specifically invited! You are not in the wrong at all to start saying no!

I ask once, then assume that the answer will always be the same. If it’s a no, then I do have to make plans accordingly because I can’t leave him for more than 3/4 hours. He’s very good in the car, though, so sometimes I bring him and leave him there, just popping out occasionally to make sure he’s okay. It is completely fine for people not to want visiting dogs, and I would never assume it’s okay, but you do have to realise that it makes a difference to what yoju can do.

I wouldn’t take my dog to a friend’s house. Perhaps if we were going on a long walk and they had a dog too, but even then I would ask.

I agree it’s annoying. I think it’s to do with the amount of time dogs are left alone with folk working so they feel guilty leaving them to do anything else.

Absolutely not OK to take your dog into someone's home without asking, and absolutely OK for the home owner to have a 'no dog' rule.

However, a pet owner's responsibility to their pet rightly trumps their desire to socialise, so if their dog is not welcome and cannot be happily left at all or for long, then the dog free home owners need to accept that their invitations will be declined, visits cut short or meet ups relocated to dog friendly venues.

I’ve only had one person ask if they can bring their dog and that was SIL, she doesn’t like leaving her dog for very long, but we refuse to have any animals
or anyone smoking in our home as we’re asthmatic.

YANBU. No dogs in our house. DH is allergic, not that I need an excuse, I wouldn't allow them anyway.

A few years ago, my Uncle's latest girlfriend turned up on Christmas Day with her dog. The dog couldn't come in the house because of my cats and I wasn't going to stick them outside. She was furious! The dog was absolutely not invited, nor was it ever implied it was invited. I think she just thought we'd let the dog in. I did feel a bit bad it was stuck out in the cold but it was either the dog or my cats in the cold.

It does seem a thing with some dog owners to assume their dogs are always invited. I've been tempted to turn up at their houses with my pets to see the reaction, being as they think it's an OK thing to do.

holy hell no! That’s outrageous. YANBU. I have four dogs who I love - and I wouldn’t dream of taking any of them anywhere they weren’t explicitly invited.

I do think this is a relatively new thing - people who got dogs during Covid or are the sort of of dog owners who assign their pets personhood…. Well walked, adult dogs can be left for the day occasionally - especially if a neighbour pops in for a midday lunch walk / wee. Your friends are being ridiculous - set your boundaries + stick to them!

A few years back my SIL and BIL messaged saying they were on their way up and “we’ve got the dog”. Told my DH to message and say no, no dogs. We have two cats that would be terrified, would definitely pee where the dog was and wouldn’t settle for ages after the dog had left, and the reply was “we’ll have to see you another time then”. Yes, yes you will.
The assumption is mad though. If I wanted dogs in my house, I would have a dog.
It’s a lovely little dog to be fair, but it’s a dog and smells like a dog.

i don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask, but it is to assume the dog is invited. i don’t really like dogs, but my former housemate’s parents would check with me that it was okay to bring their dog when visiting, and i thought it was really considerate of them to ask - it was a lovely dog and i had no problem with her coming, and after having them ask every time i assured them she was always welcome. i now live somewhere else and have shy cats so wouldn’t like a dog to visit, but would certainly not mind someone asking as long as they took no for an answer, however I’d equally understand if they weren’t able to come/not come for as long due to not being able to take the dog. just put your foot down and say no if somebody asks, if they show up with the dog just don’t let them in, it’s your house after all.

Why are cats ok?

Because cats aren't dogs?

@Calliopespa

Because it's their cat and it lives there?

I don't go to other people houses for this reason ,I wouldn't take my dog where it may not be wasted .so I usually turn an invitation round and say I can't leave the dog so please come here.problem solved. Anyone coming with a dog is welcome to come with our asking .

I’ve got a dog, but I would never do this unless he was invited- which he generally is as he is very good, but also very hairy. I take my own hand held vacuum too as nobody wants dog hair clogging up their vac, I keep it my car!

Huh? It's the cats home! Of course it's OK for the cat to be here. Ffs.

I'd start saying someone in the house has an allergy if it continues....

I’m not sure that’s a good analogy. Mum can probably let herself out to toilet and you can explain to her how long until you’re back. She could even use a phone if she needed you. I don’t really think of my mum and a dog as equal substitutes in an example.

I’d never assume it’s ok to take my dogs - I wouldn’t ask if I could either. If I have a young dog or a foster I either stay home, or get another mad dog person / pay my trainer friend to look after them do I can have a break

im ms cross dog person because I’m becoming judgey - new fir me - about people who call their dogs fur babies and never leave them, never train them. They’re in wine bars. Lunging barking growling at each other eith osners laughing indulgently. Sorry / I’ll go and do some deep breathing