When did it become a thing to bring your dog to other peoples houses ?!

[Flowersandforests]

DH & I bought a house last year & have been really enjoying having friends / family over - but I’m getting soooo fed up of people asking / assuming their dog is invited too!!

I spent all of last Saturday cleaning my house & then friends bought their dog along so I had to reclean the whole house the next day to get rid of all the dog hair etc. I even found dog hair in my bed the next day 😱

We even had a friend who bought some manky sausages & asked us to cook them for the dog!!! I was trying not to gag.

I’ve started trying to say no, but find people take it soo personally if you don’t embrace their dog too. We’ve also had friends say they can’t leave the dog so would have to cancel (an hour before they were due to arrive) so I feel like my hand is being always being forced.

Has this always been a thing ??!! AIBU to think it’s rude and you should leave your pets at home.

Nope, you absolutely ask first with understanding that people may well say no so you make other arrangements. Myself and my ex had three small dogs and we'd invited some friends to stay for the weekend. We met up with them in town first and were astounded to see they'd brought their large - and sometimes 'edgy' - standard sized terrier with them. This had not been mentioned up to this point at all. Luckily for everyone all dogs concerned got on when we arrived home and a big growly fight was averted but it was definitely CF on their part. It's wrong whether you have dogs yourself or not. Not fair to the dogs either.

I wouldn't take my dog anywhere if she is not welcome. Trying to work out why the house needs a full clean after dog visit. Was it rampaging around the whole house?

Bringing a dog without asking first is very cheeky! It’s completely your choice if you want dogs in your home/garden or not.

We only take our dog to places she’s been invited before and we still always check it’s ok on that particular occasion. If we can’t bring her, then either we both stay for a shorter period or only one of goes if it’s going to be longer than half a day. Usually our friends and family make it clear that the dog is invited too, I’d feel cheeky asking someone if we’d not previously been there with her.

It does limit things sometimes, but we signed up for that when we got a dog. It also means we often host at our house which I love anyway.

I’ve had this done to me once, I’d just given birth and dh’s aunt&uncle (lovely people) were invited over to meet baby. Dh went to answer the knock at the door (can’t see who’s there til it’s open) and their two big labs came bounding in the house FULL of black sludgy mud and ran all over the living room, up onto the couches leaving prints everywhere and bumped into baby’s moses basket that he was in!
I literally stood there opened mouthed that anyone would actually do that and thinks it’s ok. My and dh’s faces must have said it all as neither of us uttered a word and aunt suddenly said ‘oh uncle, quickly get them and put them back in the car!’

Then we all sat and had a brew and they held baby etc almost like it didn’t just happen, I think they were very embarrassed. Once they’d left dh just told me to go upstairs with ds while he dealt with the mess. We really aren’t the type of people not to call someone out but we were about 3 days post partum, shattered and quite literally speechless! The house was rented too and we’d only been in two months!

Your post brought them memory flooding back haha

The only dog I often have in my house often is my mum’s who we all adore. There are a few friend’s dogs I have looked after while they’ve gone on holiday too but don’t turn up uninvited or cancel an hour before as a way to force your hand, it’s rude, yanbu!

@Itsokish no it stayed downstairs but dog hair gets everywhere !!

We have our closest circle of friends who all have dogs, so we meet up together with all the animals, and DH's side of the family (my side is allergic) all welcome the dog, but we certainly have never assumed we can take her to anyone else's house! We even don't take her sometimes if she has been invited if we think it's going to be too noisy or busy.

I have a feeling that some dogs that were acquired around the lockdowns have not been acclimatised to being left and that's why their owners don't want to leave them. But the solution would be working with professionals to address the dog's separation anxiety, not just taking them everywhere. It's a real issue if circumstances change and the owners suddenly can't be around as much.

Your house your rules.
My friends all have dogs and bring them to one anothers houses, but the dogs all get on and they're already "dog homes" if that makes sense.
I wouldn't take mine to a non dog house unless specifically being told to bring the dog. Would never ask to bring him.

I can see why non dog owners would find it unreasonable as it does add paws and mud from walks into the mix. Just tell them no!

All dogs are welcome here because my dog loves the visitors but I would never take my dog to someone else's unless he was specifically invited. He's very old now and like @peakygold 's Mum, I totally use him as an excuse to go home whenever I want to 😀

You need to specifically start telling your family and friends who have dogs that they can't bring them when you invite them over.

Otherwise you are either going to have to acquire an allergy or a cat who hates them. (Some nosey neighbours cats are obliging.)

MIL insisted on bringing hers, which was not agreed with me beforehand (she told DH she was bringing him). I insisted that he wasn’t allowed on any of the carpets. She took offence, but didn’t try to bring him again.

We also had friends ask, as their dog ‘gets stressed out when left alone’. At least this time DH had the courtesy to tell me beforehand that they had asked. I said no.

People really do get offended, almost like you’re telling them that their children aren’t welcome in your home.

We used to have a toy poodle. 8lb utterly benign little thing. Still left it am home when we went to other people’s houses!

Still got to have a pee and a poo somewhere!

If someone turned up at my house with their uninvited dog, they could either leave the dog in the car or turn around and go home again. I actually like dogs, but my cat does not and it's her house too. People's cheek knows no bounds, it would appear.

Before people come over remind them the dog isn't welcome

If people turn up unannounced with a dog they can't come in

It wouldn't even occur to me to assume my dog was invited to my friends house, I find it quite rude to assume it's ok to take a dog!

The only houses my dog goes are my MIL and grandad's as they both like having the dog, I wouldn't dream of asking my friends if I can bring the dog to their house!

YANBU. Had this happen to me last summer. Friend has a huge breed dog and she knows I don’t like them. I’ve never owned one and I never would, yet she came to my house with it? I kept them in the hallway as I didn’t want a huge slobbering animal all over my new carpets. Why? Just why? They didn’t bring it again

Never had this before. I don’t see any harm in asking but the answer would be no. If they turned up without asking first they’d be making the return trip.

I have a dog, and wouldn’t take him without checking first.

Not a thing, or shouldn’t be. I love my dogs and most others too, but I expect friends to check before they spring their canines on me, and I would do the same. And never take them to the friends who don’t have dogs already, unless the invitations specifically says it’s the dogs they want and I am merely the escort.

I am beyond fed up with people taking their dogs everywhere. There is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving your dog home alone for 4 hours or so. I see increasing numbers of dogs out shopping these days - NONE OF THEM LOOK LIKE THEY'RE HAVING FUN. And now I'm having to watch out for dog poo in busy town centres.
And no, I don't hate dogs, I've got one. I wouldn't dream of taking him to someone else's house.

Mine doesn’t come visiting with me unless he is explicitly and enthusiastically invited! The only place I just turn up with him is my best friend’s house because she looks forward to seeing him more than me, and if I ever went without him I’d be told to go home and get him 😂

It’s not the done thing. I take my dogs to friends houses where they’re welcome-if they aren’t welcome then people need to be aware there is a time limit on my visit…I get quite annoyed when dogs aren’t welcome but they kick off if I try to leave!

Most of my friends aren’t too houseproud though…and one of the dogs definitely gets more invites than I do!

This. Say no.

My in laws keep hinting they are going to drive from uk (about 1000km) to ours next time so they can bring dog. I have repeatedly told them they will be checking into a hotel if they do that. We get a pet sitter for our cat when we are away, they can get one for dog

I wouldn’t allow someone to bring their dog, unannounced or asked in advance. I have young children, I don’t have my own dog and I have cats. So it’s not suitable for me. Even without that, I still don’t think I’d be ok with it.

For those saying they would check first… do you not think they puts the host in an awkward position ?! Unless the host offers while arranging it then you should assume that your pet is not part of the plans!!!

MIL asks every time & gets offended and huffy when we say no. Then it puts an edge on the evening