@Anonymouseky · Today 12:49
This thread confirms what I already knew: a lot of women stay in unhappy marriages as they feel financially trapped. I find that incredibly sad. You get one life (as far as we know).
Many women stay in a marriage that is not all fireworks, great sex, and Hollywood romance. And they are not always 'unhappy marriages.' Many women get on well with their husbands even though the spark has gone, and stay, because they are happy to do that. AND it's a better alternative to leaving and being alone/struggling financially.
As some posters have said, the LTB posters are utterly clueless as to how hard it is to survive alone when you have very little income yourself (as many married women do, as many have gone part time, or finished work to raise kids.)
For many married women, staying with their husband - even if they're just friends, and don't shag anymore, and the first flush of romance has long gone; is still preferable to being alone, stony broke, wondering how you're going to pay the gas and electric bills, and rent etc, and having to work like a dog, and beg for extra hours at work to put food on the table. Along with waking up alone, going to bed alone, eating alone - and never being in a couple, on every day trip, holiday, and social event. (And often Christmas and New Year's Eve.)
There have been a couple of times many years back, when I wished DH would fuck off to the far side of fuck, and like many other couples, our marriage DID have issues for several years - pretty much down to his overspending, and meanness with money. A couple of times I felt like I did want to leave, and would have if I'd have had a million pounds in the bank. I worked part time and didn't earn much, and was trapped financially and couldn't afford to live alone with 2 young children. So I stuck it out. I'm glad I did! (Now!)
Our 'bad patch' lasted around 3-4 years. But we worked though it. That's what people do. You don't just pack up your suitcases, and fuck off and leave at the first sign of the marriage not being like a Hollywood romance FFS!
We have been together now, for around 30 years (and are both in our early 50s,) our kids (2 daughters in their mid 20s,) left home a few years ago, and we are the best/happiest we've ever been and are still attracted to each other. Have been pretty happy and content for the vast majority of the past 16-17 ish years. And were fine for the first 9-10 or so. (As I said, it was just for a 3-4 year 'rough patch' in between, that we struggled as a couple...)
We are financially secure/comfortable too, and enjoy a nice lifestyle, lovely holidays, luxuries when we want them, and no financial struggles. I could not live this life if I wasn't with him. He is funny and kind, and we have some great times together. And his 'meanness with money' didn't last too long. It was just his immaturity when he was a lot younger.
I love being married, and am glad I stayed. I have seen many a woman split up from her DH (a few left him, a few had him leave her,) and now they are middle-aged and single and alone, and don't have pot to piss in. They're struggling to make ends meet, they're dreading the bills coming in, and they fight like cat and dog with other women at work (for the shifts at their workplace) for extra money.
They're quite lonely, and they have no holidays, no social life, no luxuries, nothing. Because apart from the very lucky few, most people can't live on one salary. And especially women, as they are often paid less than men! Life is so much better and much easier in a couple. (IMO and IME.)
IMO, unless a marriage is a constant stream of abuse, and cheating, and you are kept in penury indefinitely, many women are sensible to stick it our during the bad bits, because it's not all bad bits, you do have a giggle and some good times too, and the bad bits/bad patches in the marriage don't last.
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