Should petrol money and accommodation be charged?

[PinkStarAtNight]

I am looking for opinions on whether a person should be charged petrol money and accommodation fees or not.

So the situation is, person A and person B agreed to go on holiday with each other and booked a holiday together last year. They paid half for the holiday itself and, because it involves person A driving them there, they of course agreed they would split the petrol money.

Months later, person C, who is a close family member of person A, is going through a tough time and was invited to tag along on the holiday as they live alone and are struggling.

There is now a debate as to whether person C should pay a third of the petrol money and a third of the accommodation costs.

Accommodation has already been paid in full between person A and B, so paying for accommodation would involve person C handing over cash to person A and B to make it so they have essentially all paid a third each. And petrol money would be split three ways on the days of travel.

So...
Should person C pay an equal share of accommodation and petrol?

Or should they not have to pay, because person A and B planned this trip a while ago and would be paying half regardless of whether person C attends or not.

Person C will not be increasing costs in any way as the accommodation has always been big enough for three people, as person A and B booked a large caravan. Person C has agreed that they will not be dictating what happens on the holiday or factored into any decisions or plans for the activities, as they are only going because they don't want to be alone right now.

Also, does it make a difference that person C is close family member of one of the original people?

If Person A invited person C and person C can’t pay then person A should pay their share.
Really it shouldn’t impact on Person B financially unless there was an agreement prior.

Did this get discussed before the invite went ahead ?

This should have been discussed at the time of invite. If B expected C to be paying 1/3 when agreeing to it then it’s a bit late to now say actually C won’t pay. Equally if C expected the trip to be free then it’s a bit late to suddenly say there’s a cost.

However, I do think whilst accommodation costs might be a bit of a grey area as it’s already been paid C should 100% pay towards the petrol on the day alongside the others, it would be very rude for anybody to expect a totally free trip.

1/3 each unless there's specific reasons to waive it

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@PinkStarAtNight So much depends on the exact scenario here, which we don't know. Is there any more you can add to the following?

We don't know how happy 'B' is about person C coming, or whether they felt they HAD to say yes and are secretly somewhat dismayed that a third person is now coming to change the dynamics.

Did they say it was ok before or after the invitation was given to 'C'?

How big is the caravan and how many bathrooms/toilets does it have?

What are the sleeping arrangements? How many bedrooms and beds does it have?

We don't know if person 'C' is 'struggling' financially or whether she is just finding life hard currently for other reasons.

We also don't know exactly how the offer from 'A' to 'C' for 'C' to join the holiday was actually worded to 'C' when it was given

My answers would be different depending on the answers to the above questions

Yes, C should pay (or at least offer to pay).

Why not?
Bethany was planning a fun weekend piss up with her friend Alice, and then Alice invited Cindy who is going through a rough time and is going to spend the weekend crying into her Prosecco and rehashing her painful breakup with a Ted. Instead of a fun weekend, Bethany is now stuck in a moan-fest-caravan and is not even going to be compensated for the pleasure?

Yes, A asked B and B is fine with C attending.

Did A confirm with B that B was happy for C to join for free?

I would expect costs to be shared between people attending ie C should pay

But, if a close friend of mine wanted to bring their sister and I knew they were struggling financially, I might be generous and suggest another arrangement

@PinkStarAtNight are you A, B or even C , @PinkStarAtNight ?? do you think C should also share costs??? does A think C should share costs also?? does B think C should share costs?? does C think she should be getting a free holiday???

Agree Cindy should pay 1/3 of both transportation and accommodations with cash or picking up the equivalent at dinner out.

I’d also be side eying the arrangement of everyone bringing their own food. I’ve seen that go horribly wrong. (One person eating caviar and filets and other eating bread and water).

Absolutely C should pay their way. Why should others foot the bill to provide C with a free holiday.

So the payment arrangements would have been cleared up at this point then, before person C was actually invited?

@Slaapje Ha ha! No problem, I used them as fake names as I'm not keen on the A and B thing. It gets too confusing sometimes!

We also took Beth for a "cheer up" holiday, she'd been through a rough time. And she did offer extra payment when she got some more money, but we wouldn't hear of it.
I'd have thought that's what friends/family do when times are tough. The villa was only a two bedroom, but as Beth was my oldest friend and we'd done it countless times before, she slept in with me. One more person didn't impact on the holiday at all. But I suppose that also depends if you all get on well!

Person c should pay their third, or A could cover 2/3s if they want to subsidise C

Depends on the wording of the invite:

Ie: ’so sorry you’re down. We’ve booked a place for xdates and have plenty of room, why don’t you tag along?’ Probably not reasonable to ask unless money/costs were part of that conversation.

They could talk to person C and say that when the offer was made, the assumption was that the cost would be split 3 ways and they’re sorry if that wasn’t clear - do they still want to come, but the cost is xx?

I would say that petrol costs should be split, but I think it would be nice to not make them pay for accommodation. A good deed and all that! Might C pay for a meal whilst you are away as a thank you?

Person C should pay only
caveat is if they have to take a blow up bed or sofa bed when others are in proper beds then I think they should pay but maybe not equal amounts.

Yes, no question. Person C should pay a third.

Of course person c has to pay their fair share

does person b mind person c going!

I wouldn’t be impressed that my holiday had been changed without my permission

Person B shouldn’t be expected to foot the bill for Person A’s family member. Does B even want them there?

If A wants to gift C a holiday, they can. A or C should offer to reimburse B so that B is only paying 1/3 of the costs.

Or if B is feeling generous, C could offer to pay for the petrol in full or take everyone for dinner.

I have been working and then making dinner. I will try to answer some questions now:

Person C wasn't invited exactly...it was more that person C was telling person A that they really can't be alone for a week and person A said 'well you're going to have to come with us then. I'll talk to B'. When B was asked they said 'Yes that's fine. I expected C would be coming along anyway.'
Money wasn't discussed.

The cost of petrol will be around £40 for the journey to and from. It is a UK holiday fairly close to home. It is a 4 day holiday with no plans for any trips/driving around once there.

The caravan was £130.

There will not be a 'food shop' - each person is taking a big bag of food from home. Takeaways and alcohol are not part of the plan as no one drinks and two of the three are on a diet.

How does B feel? - B feels that this was inevitable as they have known about the situation with C for a while. B is a close family friend and has spent a lot of time with C.

Do I think C should pay? - I am unsure which is why I'm asking.

I never even said I was one of either A, B or C so I don't know how people are making decisions about which one I am 😂

The second invite sounds very much like they only expect C to pay whatever extra costs she incurs - her flights, a third of the food & drinks, etc. And that's what "tag along" sounds like to me. C's had no inputto the choice of holiday or dates, which she'd have been entitled to as a full paying member of the party.

This is one of the arguments which has been put forward. As far as I'm aware its not the plan for C to be seen as an equal holiday member but very much as a tag along with little say in anything. Althoufg along that, there aren't really any activities planned because it is designed to be a cheap holiday.

What’s the sleeping arrangements.

Is a third of £170 a lot of money to A, B and/or C? In the grand scheme of things sixty quid doesn't seem like much for three people who have presumably all known each other a long time. We'd all be falling over ourselves to pay tbh. Does someone have form for being tight? Or is anyone/everyone skint?

If someone has form for being a cheap chancer that would influence my answer.

Still feeling for B who's had her holiday turned into a support trip for C.

Person C wasn't invited exactly...it was more that person C was telling person A that they really can't be alone for a week and person A said 'well you're going to have to come with us then. I'll talk to B'. When B was asked they said 'Yes that's fine. I expected C would be coming along anyway.'
Money wasn't discussed.
C is a demanding CF then. And they and A are rude. Unless you are B, it sounds like B has been guilt tripped into this. Bs response doesn't exactly sound positive, more they knew A and C would do this. I'd be suspicious this was the plan from the start for A and C and for B to subsidise their holiday!