Should petrol money and accommodation be charged?

[PinkStarAtNight]

I am looking for opinions on whether a person should be charged petrol money and accommodation fees or not.

So the situation is, person A and person B agreed to go on holiday with each other and booked a holiday together last year. They paid half for the holiday itself and, because it involves person A driving them there, they of course agreed they would split the petrol money.

Months later, person C, who is a close family member of person A, is going through a tough time and was invited to tag along on the holiday as they live alone and are struggling.

There is now a debate as to whether person C should pay a third of the petrol money and a third of the accommodation costs.

Accommodation has already been paid in full between person A and B, so paying for accommodation would involve person C handing over cash to person A and B to make it so they have essentially all paid a third each. And petrol money would be split three ways on the days of travel.

So...
Should person C pay an equal share of accommodation and petrol?

Or should they not have to pay, because person A and B planned this trip a while ago and would be paying half regardless of whether person C attends or not.

Person C will not be increasing costs in any way as the accommodation has always been big enough for three people, as person A and B booked a large caravan. Person C has agreed that they will not be dictating what happens on the holiday or factored into any decisions or plans for the activities, as they are only going because they don't want to be alone right now.

Also, does it make a difference that person C is close family member of one of the original people?

@Slaapje No it isn't

I wouldn’t charge person C but if they offered to contribute that would be a nice gesture, my main concern would be that they have enough money to cover expenses such as food and activities etc.

Personally I wouldn't charge person C anything, provided person A and B are fully on board with her coming.

I dont see why C would get a free holiday so wither rework the costs inc travel and get them or pay or agree that they will fund food or trips to that amount.

C cover petrol costs to make it fair. I hope B hasn't felt obliged to agree to C coming as it has changed their holiday

Sorry @MoonWoman69 was just joking, because your friends names start with A and B!

I think person C should pay one third, unless BOTH person A and person B agree (with no pressure) that they want to offer person C a third spot for free.

If I were person B, and I had agreed to share accommodation and petrol equally, I'd be annoyed if person A asked to have a third person tag along without sharing the costs. Despite having agreed to the costs, I'd feel like I'm essentially expected to cover half of the vacation for a family member of my friend.

I assume, since there's a debate, that person B is not happy having person C tag along without covering their share of the cost. That's perfectly reasonable, in my opinion. It's generous of person B to agree to share their already-planned vacation with person A's family member, even if they want person C to pay their share. Having a third person along changes the dynamic of the vacation.

If person C can't pay, I'd say person A has two options: Paying person C's share, or not inviting person C along at all. Can't expect person B to subsidise the vacation of their friend's struggling family member.

Yea they should contribute.

But I wouldn't get them to pay towards accommodation costs as in directly pay each person.

I'd ask for 1/3 petrol on the day.

Then say the caravan was £300. They owe £100. So they buy a takeout, pay for a meal out or buy the food etc to that value when you're away and then the rest is split equally.

If I was Person A, ie the third wheel, I would be backing out, enabling
B and C to go on holiday together.

I think they should pay a third of everything. Having a tough time doesn't mean that you expect two other adults to pay for your holiday. The support for the tough time is the companionship and the fun of going on a holiday. It's not financial support.

It depends how they were asked. If they were asked by saying hey there's a space if you want to come and it will cost X. Or was it said come with us we are worried about you being by yourself. You don't invite someone who is having a bad time as though you're looking out for them and say by the way here's the bill. Depends how they were asked. Wasn't that spoken about between A and B before they asked C?

But only if A told B that they would be paying for everything still between the two of them and the outset. B probably would not have assumed that was the case.

If I was A and especially B I would be worried about the dynamic changing. It's not equal any more.

You don't invite someone who is having a bad time as though you're looking out for them and say by the way here's the bill.

You also don’t invite them on your holiday and expect a third party to stump up costs for them.

@PinkStarAtNight are you ever coming back to answer people’s questions?

How were they invited?
What are the accompany petrol costs?
How does B feel about it?
Do you think A should pay for C?

You don't invite someone who is having a bad time as though you're looking out for them and say by the way here's the bill.

Of course you can. Nobody would ever ask anyone to do anything if the asker had to pay for everything.

You can ask a friend of a family member if they would like to come on a holiday with you that you think they would enjoy or that would do them good but adults don't usually subsidise each others holidays.

You don't invite someone who is having a bad time as though you're looking out for them and say by the way here's the bill.

I'd agree with this if A & B were both close friends/relatives of C. Doesn't seem that way. B has already had her holiday with A changed to add another person, not sure why B should pay for them, although of course A could do so if they wished

Person A should have talked this through with Person B and agree terms before inviting their relative. Does Person B even want another person joining on the holiday?

I agree clearly B isn’t actually happy they are effectively subbing A’s family member a freebie otherwise this thread wouldn’t exist.

Not even the offer of paying for a meal from the responses either. It’s taking food from
home and all paying their own when they do eat out.

So sounds like A and B were already doing this on a shoelace. Half their payment towards the caravan could make quite the difference to B and A can always suck up not getting half of what they paid back.

That’s without the fact that technically a heavier car will use more fuel too as it’s got to move a bigger weight of an extra person and their food/luggage. Yeah maybe not a lot in the grand scheme but if B is feeling mugged off already it’s all going to add to a tipping point.

Of course person C should pay their way. It's immaterial that Person C is tagging along.

If both A and B were happy to treat C then that's one thing but if person A is saying C should come for free as they are not costing extra then that's completely unreasonable.

True, A could pay two thirds for everything and B one third of everything.

If I were B I may be too polite to say I didn’t want C to come - but I would be very pissed off. If I wanted to go away with C I would have suggested it in the first place.
The only thing that might make it better would be if C coughed up, sure as hell wouldn’t subsidise someone’s else’s relatives holiday.

Hang on, A & B "invited C to tag along" on a tip they'd already bought and paid for.

Did they actually say "Hey, C, why not come with us? It'll only cost you [a third of holiday price]"

Or did they say "We've already got this booked, an extra bed won't cost us any more so why don't you come along?"

The second invite sounds very much like they only expect C to pay whatever extra costs she incurs - her flights, a third of the food & drinks, etc. And that's what "tag along" sounds like to me. C's had no input to the choice of holiday or dates, which she'd have been entitled to as a full paying member of the party.

E

Each person pays a third

If person C is broke, I'd say tag along, we've already budgeted the holiday - but they need to pay their way for food etc.

If they're not broke, then they should pay 1/3. Bit petty but a heavier car load eats more petrol, if utilities are metered at holiday place - showers and cooking will be more. And check holiday company is okay with a third person joining - they may ask more to cover cost of laundry and cleaning.

If I was B I'd be worried this was going to become more expensive than planned and corralled by A and C... 'oh don't you worry C, we'll get this' 'should we get some drinks for the caravan, don't worry C, this is on us'..