To desperately ask what age you found like easier after having a baby?

[helppleaseeh]

Just that really. 19 months and oh my god it’s too much. I really need my own space and time to function well and basically do not have much of this for obvious reasons. The tantrums, the nappies, the constant changes of clothes. When will it feel easier?

It gets easier when they start school in my experience.

Turning point around 2/2.5 when they can talk more, another milestone around 3 when you can reason slightly more, 3.5/4 is a huge change and gets way easier imo.

4.5/5 they start school and I find that hard in different ways - worrying about him behind behind in reading writing etc, friendship/popularity worries etc. Physically very easy

I think two is a glorious age, especially the second half. It’s bit easier as such but they talk properly so the communication makes it so much better. And they’re bloody adorable.

1-2 is a tricky age imo - active but completely dependent.

The days are long and the years are short.

I found 1-2 really hard but 4 (while not without its challenges) is getting much easier.

Don't wish it away..
I didn't find motherhood hard at all..
It's as easy or hard as you want it to be..
Mine were born in the 80s and 90s though.. now age 40 and 32.

With DD1, I found things got a lot easier after two and a half. DD2 is now 26 months and things are getting easier as she gets much better with speech. Certainly by the age of three/four, it's infinitely easier.

I'm really enjoying the 2-3 stage.

But I look back at the really little guy who's changed into the toddler, and I miss him. That little guy.

It's about to get so much easier, honestly, especially if you are able to potty train right around 2. Both mine were pretty delightful from age 2-3. I can't handle the thought of having another baby simply because of the thought of age 1-2! It's hard. Age 3 on just flies by and they get more and more independent all the time.

14 and 18! But honestly once they were about 4

My 15 yo is giving me a hard time ATM. We too have tantrums and constant changes of clothes. I’m thinking 18, once they’re out of the house…

Mine are in twenties. Same shit just different shit

I found it the easiest is before 1. Especially when they do not need solid. Only breastfeeding. Its soo easy for me in the baby phase.

easy phase number 2 is when the start reception. Its getting better from then until they are teenager and its hard again

My youngest is 9 and I'm still waiting. But he is autistic so probably harder than an NT 9 year old. I find that some difficult bits get easier as they get older and some things get harder.

When they left for Uni 🙄
Tb really h when they slept through the night properly because they were knackered from school - so say 4ish! Mine were not good sleepers.
As a mum you always worry about them - the challenges are just different as they grow up :)

Around 4 definitely felt different.

But honestly my youngest is 2.5 and I'm already feeling a shift like it's less relentless. I am going away overnight! Which will be the first time I've been away from the children in nearly 6 years.

I have a teenager and I do understand the point about teens being worrying in a different way but teenagers do not relentlessly NEED you every second of every day like babies and toddlers do.

Do you have a partner, do you have involved grandparents (of your child)?

4.5 here...the tantrums finally calmed down a little by then.

They are all different thought, my youngest is 27 months and very easy in comparison to my first who never slept, ate, and threw constant tantrums from 18 months.

When I returned to part time work. It was good for their development and it was good for my own sanity. Good for my career and money too. It gave me time to miss them and I started to cherish the days I had off with them. I was motivated to plan proper days out rather than endless boring park walks and baby groups.

You sound burnt out OP, I hope you’re ok. Do you have a DP or family/friends that help you out at all? Someone to take little one to the park for an hour or 2 every now and again? So you can get those much needed little breaks sometimes.

In terms of when it gets ‘easier’, I don’t know, I couldn’t give a set age to be honest. I think there’s all sorts of worries and difficulties that come with different ages/milestones. Mine are 5, 3 and 1 so all still very little but I find that there are different stages that they move through, each stage has its ups and downs, not really a set age that suddenly gets a lot easier.

If it’s the dependency on you that’s taking it’s toll then I’d say around 3/4 when they want to become more independent with dressing etc and you don’t have nappy changes to do then that side of it is a lot easier. Of course then as well they’re communication is so much better so the frustration/tantrums are far less, in my experience anyway.

I was speaking to a woman in the supermarket the other day who has 3 teenagers and she said to me she wishes her DC were still my DC’s ages as at least I know where they are, who they’re with, what they’re doing, I can protect them etc. She said the teenage years are hard for lots of reasons, which I can imagine.

I know what you mean though, that 1-2 age is very physically and mentally draining, they’re VERY active and into EVERYTHING aren’t they!

The easiest bit so far has been the first 6 months. Followed by 6-12m

1-3 HARD
3-5 mostly easier
5-7 (where we've got to) I'm finding incredibly hard. Whilst the physical care is less, it's emotionally draining and attitudes and emotions are making things really hard.

And mine still don't sleep.

Not helpful. Smug.

is this your first child? With my first I felt the same. I loved him so much but it’s a big transition in life to go from an independent carefree woman to a woman responsible entirely for another little individual. I found it overwhelming at times, I’d not really planned being a mother or really given it much thought - nothing would prepare you!! I took some hotel nights alone, which helped, now 2 more children and 12 years on, I think I’ve transitioned and can’t bear to be away from them. Becoming a mother is a big change and you need to be gentle with yourself and get the support you need to keep your own cup as full as possible

At 19 months it was the lack of sleep that nearly wiped me out. It gets easier at 2 when you can start negotiating and reasoning with them.

4 onwards I think. I didn't like the tantrum phase of 2 and 3.