To desperately ask what age you found like easier after having a baby?

[helppleaseeh]

Just that really. 19 months and oh my god it’s too much. I really need my own space and time to function well and basically do not have much of this for obvious reasons. The tantrums, the nappies, the constant changes of clothes. When will it feel easier?

They are hard work at 19 months. On move with a strong will to explore the world in usually horrendously dangerous ways so you have to watch them like a hawk lest they tumble down a flight of stairs or plunge into a river or stick a battery in their mouth etc etc. The emergence of tantrums when they don’t get their own way, or even just if something doesn’t quite go the way they think it should (I remember DS howling all the way home once because the moon was in the wrong place in the sky). In all honestly I also found 2-3 tricky with two of mine, ( my third was much easier- purely her personality being more chilled out). 3 onwards a noticeable shift to easier for the other two, and then gradually easier from there. Hang in there OP!

Age 0-4 was hell for me. I wished each year away. Age 5/6 has been an absolute dream and I’m enjoying every second which is something I never thought I’d say.

Around 24. Years.

I enjoyed their primary school years the best and was far less stressful than parenting under 5s or teenagers.

Is there a play group where they can be left for a couple of hours a few times a week? Usually around 2 and 1/2? Or a crèche attached to a gym? I used to love that option as ds had to be pre booked and paid for so it made me go to the gym, have time spent on me, headspace and a good shower/hair wash/hair dry into the bargain. But this was 20 years ago.

Hopefully the weather improving might help with spring and summer coming and you could go to the park or outside a coffee shop especially if you have friends with similar aged children. Not child free but more human

And everything feels better if everyone gets proper sleep and winter colds are a thing of the past for a few months

It gets better in stages. 3+ was easier for us because their sleep improved. 5+ is wonderful as they can be more independent.

It does get easier. I found from 2 things got easier every 6 months or so as they hit new developmental milestones. You’re in a really tough phase where they are very demanding. The biggest thing is sleep tbh. My eldest was full on during the day as a toddler but slept like a dream. My youngest was full on and didn’t sleep well until she was at school.

The easiest age I found to be 5-8.
Once they turn 2 it gets easier in my experience so not long to go now.
I'm currently in the teen bracket with mine and this is by far the worst age for me (but that's specific to me as I much preferred the practical support needed by younger children to the emotional support needed by teens so it very much depends on what type of person you are!)

I found 18 months or the 1-2 age the hardest! So active but unable to communicate or reason. You literally can’t take your eyes off them and usually have to constantly be bent over scurrying after them too. Sleep often still dodgy at that age , plus I had gone back to work and was trying to juggle that transition.

I think from 2 there was quite a big leap with language which made a difference to me, plus their physical development improving meaning a bit less of the constant Velcro next to them at all times. Agree that potty training also was a great milestone.

Hang in there xx

Around 20-24 months it gets MUCH easier because they understand enough that you can reason with them. "You get another potato if you eat your carrot first." "You can have another turn when Sam has had a go." It no longer feels like you're negotiating with terrorists.

And I would say about 2-2,5y it gets much easier again when they are potty trained, and you have much less need to schlepp a stroller everywhere.

Then from age 4-5 they can put on their own jackets, go pee, walk properly, space out meals (if necessary with a snack) to suit your plans... You don't need eyes on them as relentlessly - you can just tell them not to leave the playground. Then it really starts to feel soooo much easier.

You'll get there, you got this!

"It's as easy or as hard as you want it to be."

Pmsl!

What about single mums or skint mums or mums with SEN children or mums who are SEN themselves or mums with abusive partners or those, who like many mums, just want to go for a wee without someone shouting mumeeeeee!

I four and five months each time when I put them in nursery and went back to work.
The turning point was around three years.

For me now that turned 5 I can see a bit of a light in the tunnel

3.5 onwards was a huge turning point for us so far. As much more independent and can be reasoned with. 0-3.5 was a hard slog, not going to lie. Hang in there. It's hard but each of these phases do end.

It does go through ebbs and flows of being “harder” and “easier” but they are always…. there 😆 Personal space and alone time is in short supply (have a 10 year old and a 3 year old).

I’m reminded of the meme/joke of the daughter on the phone to her mother (for the 4th time that day), “Mum, the kids aren’t listening to me, please tell me when they stop being so needy!” The mother, “Um, well you’re 35 and married with your own kids and I’m still waiting…”

First of all this comment doesn't answer the OP's question. You literally did not confirm when you felt it got easier unless you're saying when they hit 40 and 32.

Secondly, 'it's as easy or as hard as you want it to be'? Who would proactively want parenthood to be hard???

My mum's friend loves to tell a story of how when her babies cried she put them in a cot and shut the bedroom door until they stopped crying (hours later). She figured they would fall asleep eventually. Is this the sort of thing you did to make things easy? Shame on you.

Well it must be worth it otherwise people wouldn't want more!

School age. Mine is 16 now and it's a walk in the park. I'm a lone parent. Obviously I'm lucky though that he has no SEN and has made it through high school with very little drama, he's an easygoing kid who works hard.

I sympathise. I hated that age and found it a real slog... yes they're cute, but they're heavy to lug around, they don't want to sleep, they make a mess just looking at a room, everything is a drama, the tears... no thank you.

1-2 was hardest for me. It also coincided with Covid, so that probably didn't help. There was a big improvement around 2.5 when speech was much clearer and more conversational (this might be earlier for you, mine was a bit late talking). The biggest improvement for me was around 3.5, when he was reasonably reliably toilet trained, followed instructions fairly well, and generally became a bit more biddable, more fun, and easier to get along with. Also you can start to leave them in a room in their own to play without worrying so much.

Can you get any time alone? I'm very much an introvert and found being around my child all the time incredibly draining. I'm sure this makes me a terrible mother in some people's eyes, but it's the truth. At that age I used to take myself off for a four hour bike ride some weekends - utter bliss, and my partner was more than capable of coping without me. At around 2.5 I started having the odd night away in a hotel on my own.

ETA - mine is now 5 and I actively enjoy spending time with him. He's a lovely human! Still hard work sometimes, but fun to be around.

I found it got easier at age 3 and then a lot easier at age 5.

Are you back at work? If not, go!! It is hard balancing the two but you get a brain break. My job is much more interesting than changing nappies and walking around a park endlessly.

My youngest is almost two and a half and it's been steadily getting easier since just before he was two, I'd say.

12-18 was definitely the hardest in terms of needing space and always having to be "on". My son happily plays by himself now so I can take some time to do things or do nothing if I want.

I think it depends how you define "easier". I found the toddler years demanding but not particularly difficult, as I felt like I knew what I was doing. Although now my 6 and 8 year old are "easier" in terms of independence, having more time to myself etc, I find this stage overall much more difficult. The bickering and sibling rivalry is off the charts and it is absolutely wearing. One of my children is very highly sensitive though, so it partly depends on the child. In general people seem to find school age children easier, I just haven't been blessed that way.

4-10/11 is pretty good. Then you have to wait until they're about 16/17.