Would you have turned her away?

[Greatbritish]

Friend and I were discussing an event that happened back in 1994, when we were 15 yrs old.

We were on a minibus full of teenagers coming home from a youth group week away. The journey home was 5 hours. Friend had vocalised for 30 mins that she needed the loo, and I could tell she was close to having an accident. There were no toilets we could see on the route and the youth leader driving didn't want to hunt around for loos. He just wanted to get us all home.

I persuaded the driver to pull into a residential road, as I was going to knock doors until someone let my friend use their loo. The first person I asked let us in straight away after I explained the situation. It was a man with young children. He happily let her pee in his downstairs loo, then we went back on the bus. I didn't even get his address to write a thank you card after the event.

Would you have let her in to use the loo?

YABU: I wouldn't let a teenage stranger in my house.

YANBU: If you gotta go, you gotta go. In you come teenager.

in the 90s probably but not now I feel like times have changed and people are more security sensitive and suspicious of strangers

also why couldn’t your friend just use a bush!?!

I never answer the door to people I dont know or cant see are obviously delivery drivers/postmen

Its not because I am an introvert or am "scared" of people as MN likes to say, its because we get so many bloody cold callers conducting tedious surveys, trying to sell us stuff, people trying to convert us to their religion, donate money etc that I have become throughly fed up of it. They usually wont take no for an answer and it's a waste of my time so I now just dont bother to answer. We have CCTV so I can see if its a delivery and if its not, I dont answer because its irritating AF.

This story doesnt make much sense either as if the driver can stop for her to knock on doors, then why cant he stop outside a cafe or petrol station or a supermarket, or a place where there are shops and pubs which have toilets? He had 30 minutes of being able to find somewhere!!

As a teacher, I schedule regular toilet stops when we take a long journey. If I had a child with an additional need to use the toilet regularly, I’d plan extra stops.

From a safeguarding perspective (for both child and homeowner), I wouldn’t allow young people in my care to go into a random house to use the toilet. In an emergency, I’d use Google.

I wouldn’t refuse to let someone use my loo, but it would be very odd for anyone other than a visitor to my house to ask. I live in a suburban area very near to public facilities.

but I guess I would consider the wider implications- what I could be accused of, what other witnesses there were. I don’t want someone to suffer that indignity but I wouldn’t want to get accused of something nefarious

This. As PP have said, from a safeguarding perspective this is absolutely appalling on the part of the youth leader. I would not want to be accused of something later on.

The people in charge of this trip are the ones who are responsible for looking after these teens, not random strangers who have nothing whatsoever to do with them FGS.

Only if I had a downstairs loo near the door. I also have a very loud barky dog so I think a teenage girl would think twice about doing anything stupid (if they were inclined). They’d probably want to get in and out as quickly as possible.

I used to live on a well known walking route - it was a daily event. My house was in the guide as a directional point- turn left at etc (it was in a village)
Always let them in
And gave water and occasionally topped up flasks.

I'd probably have let her in, but only if I got a good vibe. And of course only a female, as a man can easily pee anywhere.

Great British no we hitched 2 x 2. No mobile phones then and no did not know the people at all. They just gave us a lift for last part of journey. We were so young and innocent. Have no idea how we all met up at the town and met up with loads from our town, was brilliant. We brought a tent and they said use our garden and then lashing and made us stay in living room. Can't really remember much as nearly 40 yrs ago god unreal how time flies. They were so nice to us. Just remember Slane was a mudfest and all covered in mud. Don't remember much of the concert as we all were drinking and not used to drinking then, I know my one regret in life as loved them. We hitched home again and arrived to my sisters in a little village worse for wear as back then when people gave you lifts would stop at little pubs/shop thing for a drink. So that was the best part. Times so much safer then and we all looked out for each other. Watched Sky Doc about Freddie Mercury it was amazing as he was really a quiet man but his dark sense of humour brilliant. Great music and memories. Growing up our key was always in the front door on a main street in town even if no one home, that shows how different things were in the 80's.

JackSpaniels that was so kind of you, you could have made a fortune selling water and charging for the loo.

What a great story @BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants Thank you for sharing it.

Life was so very different back then, wasn't it?

I would not have let her in, I'm afraid.

I honestly don't know. I'd hate to think of someone having an accident, but I'm also wary of letting strangers into my home, especially when I have young children. I've seen the film Funny Games, and that probably put me off even more.

A lot of the replies on this thread just make me despair of humanity.

You would honestly let a child have an accident rather than use your loo? WTF??

You're welcome GreatBritish.....totally different times. Love hearing all the stories, great thread GreatBritish and have a lovely weekend xx

I know the film you mean! I'm not that paranoid, but I would worry about being burgled. I hate to say it, but if the child was well spoken and clearly middle class I would be far more inclined to let them in.

In the 90s yeah I would have done. Nowadays my gut would say yes but my crime fiction reading brain would err on the side of caution. Besides this is mumsnet and people don't open their doors unless the visitor has been in the calendar for a good few weeks previously 🤣

Yes, this.

If I had a downstairs toilet by the door possibly yes. Otherwise no.

A 15 year old girl with a minibus full of teenagers in view? Yes.

Not needing a loo for 9 hours is weird