Would you have turned her away?

[Greatbritish]

Friend and I were discussing an event that happened back in 1994, when we were 15 yrs old.

We were on a minibus full of teenagers coming home from a youth group week away. The journey home was 5 hours. Friend had vocalised for 30 mins that she needed the loo, and I could tell she was close to having an accident. There were no toilets we could see on the route and the youth leader driving didn't want to hunt around for loos. He just wanted to get us all home.

I persuaded the driver to pull into a residential road, as I was going to knock doors until someone let my friend use their loo. The first person I asked let us in straight away after I explained the situation. It was a man with young children. He happily let her pee in his downstairs loo, then we went back on the bus. I didn't even get his address to write a thank you card after the event.

Would you have let her in to use the loo?

YABU: I wouldn't let a teenage stranger in my house.

YANBU: If you gotta go, you gotta go. In you come teenager.

To get to my bathroom you have to go right through the house and upstairs so I wouldn’t let a stranger use it. I also live alone and have adhd, my bathroom isn’t always ‘guest ready’ in terms of cleanliness so there are times I would be embarrassed to have someone else use it without me at least giving it a wipe around first. So no, I wouldn’t let a stranger in but I wouldn’t have any issues with them going in my garden if desperate.

If I could see the coach etc then maybe yeah but I’d be scared of it not being genuine.

Fucking hell, the audacity for some people to have smaller bladders, or struggle to go long hours without peeing. I doubt anyone can help that!

Because I was grateful he helped?

Because it's nice to be nice?

That's what you've picked up on from my post? 🤦

@Greatbritish in 1994 it was a different world. I would have without a second thought.

2024 yes, but only easily if we had a downstairs toilet, I'd let her, but I'd go upstairs with them both to 'show them where it us'. A bit uncomfortably if home alone but happily if another adult was home too.

Nope

@kellion unless you're asleep, it's pretty unusual to go nine hours without a wee. Even five is quite a long time. You should probably drink more water.

The driver had planned in a loo break for the 5 hour trip @Sapphire387

The stop was over an hour away, which is why the problem needed solving.

Probably back then. Not a chance now. It's a known con for thieves where I am, strangely enough.

You must drink nothing then and that's bad for you.
Don't believe that nobody needs the loo in 9 hours away.
Also you should walk around the plane and exercise anyway.
The girl on the school trip should never have been treated like that. You should have toilet stops.

Yes I would

Yes, that and the fact it's all about piss.

But surely the nice thing to do would be for the person who used his toilet, to note the address and send the card?

No. I'd be inclined to think it was some sort of scam.

Times are much different now, I think we are a little more cautious.

It wasn't much later than that when we as a youth group got lost on a walk. We flagged down a bloke on the side of the road and he gave us a ride back in his Land Rover. We were in the arse end of nowhere with one female adult to 4 kids, he could have been anyone.

These days I imagine that whoever was in charge of the 15 year olds wouldn't be keen on letting them go into a stranger's house!

I suppose I'd let a teen girl or younger child, but not a teen boy without DH home.

I wouldn’t as I’d be worried it was a scam.

She should have just gone behind a tree/bush.

No need for a thank you card. You were lucky you knocked on a chilled person’s door.

Sorry just seen your update. But if she was disabled then this was all down to the Youth Leader and her parents should have put in a complaint. It must have been very stressful for her.

In 1994 yes. In this day and age probably not.

These days there's Google. We'd have likely located a nearby supermarket just off the main roads we were on.

If I had a downstairs toilet near the front door (and DH was home), maybe. If not, no, I wouldn't let a random stranger walk through my house where my children are.

This happened to a child on the school bus and again on a school trip and both residents allowed them to use the loo. 30 years ago.
I don't live in a nice area so it would depend on a lot of factors. Hopefully I'd feel comfortable to help out.

Yes I would. In fact this used to happen to me quite a lot, although not since covid, not sure why. I live in a vicarage so people thought we were a safe option I think! I wouldn't let anyone use our upstairs loo as upstairs is strictly out of bounds for visitors but I would let them use the loo in the church. We used to have random visitors around once a month asking for a drink, a blanket, to use the loo, a lift to the train station and a tour of the church amongst other things. One lady wanted a tour of the house, I said no to that one.

Other way around!

Not a problem @Delatron

Her health issues weren't seen as disability back in the 90s. It was something she had to put up with.

And she had friends who were surprisingly bolshy on her behalf when she needed them to be. Part of our conversation was the surprise that 15 yr old me had the balls to do what I did.

She's still putting up with her health issues now, and more besides, but that's a different post all together.

Yes to a teen clearly on a trip or a pregnant woman on her own/ with a child. No to a man I didn't recognise unless my DH was close by. But there's a pub a few minutes away, so I could suggest they went there.