Would you have turned her away?

[Greatbritish]

Friend and I were discussing an event that happened back in 1994, when we were 15 yrs old.

We were on a minibus full of teenagers coming home from a youth group week away. The journey home was 5 hours. Friend had vocalised for 30 mins that she needed the loo, and I could tell she was close to having an accident. There were no toilets we could see on the route and the youth leader driving didn't want to hunt around for loos. He just wanted to get us all home.

I persuaded the driver to pull into a residential road, as I was going to knock doors until someone let my friend use their loo. The first person I asked let us in straight away after I explained the situation. It was a man with young children. He happily let her pee in his downstairs loo, then we went back on the bus. I didn't even get his address to write a thank you card after the event.

Would you have let her in to use the loo?

YABU: I wouldn't let a teenage stranger in my house.

YANBU: If you gotta go, you gotta go. In you come teenager.

I'd let the guy who delivers my parcels in to use the loo, or get some water. He's been coming to my house for years now and I feel okay about it. In fact, I've offered him drinks on hot days.
Random man knocking at my door, no.

As a woman with bladder issues I’d 100% let a lass in, or a mother and small child. No men, no standing with the door open. God almighty, what a world we live in though. Didn’t occur to me til I read this thread that you could end up accused of malfeasance for helping someone who was bursting for a piss.

I wonder why a youth leader was prepared to let girls get out of the bus and knock on the door of strangers

I would. I always ask local window cleaners/gardeners etc if they need a loo break when doing mine or neighbours to knock on. Often offer them a brew if I have a spare few mins.

im self employed and work from home.. can you tell I need to get out more. 😂

So no, I wouldn’t let a stranger in but I wouldn’t have any issues with them going in my garden if desperate.

Umm, it would be less weird not to answer the door than suggest this

YABU for posting such a daft question.

Where on earth were you that were were no service stations or shoppes?
You found a residential area but no servo or shoppes?

I've driven in the outback of Australia several times and managed to find a toilet without knocking on someone's private home.

How could their disability prevent them from peeing in a bush? It seems like they could walk, as they walked into the person's house. Were their gentiles located on their back?

But no, I don't let anyone into my home. I have PTSD.

If I judged the situation to be safe (I work with teens, so would like to think that I'd have a fairly good inkling), then no, I would not have turned her away.

She'd be peeing in my hedge (which I don't really have any objection to in an emergency), because chances of me actually acknowledging an unexpected ring or knock at the door are virtually nil.

I've never been able to crouch and have a wee. I've tried it, bladder always so full that I create a little puddle around my trainers that the bottom of my jeans start soaking up!

If a downstairs loo yes. Upstairs probably not.

I am one of these people that doesn't open the door unless expecting a knock though. It causes me huge anxiety.

1994, probably.

Now, If I saw a minibus & a leader came with so it was clearly true, yes. Just a teen in their own? Nope. We've a youth crime problem & they'll try anything to get access to your home.

I would've done

So funny!

I can not wee for 9 hours, you need to wee after 5, just what is wrong with you???

You should be the same as me !

As a single woman living with only primary age DC, with currently the only toilet being in the bathroom on the first floor (I'm saving for an extension which will allow me to put in a downstairs loo), I would not have let her in unless:

• I could see the minibus full of teens and driver
• I had a gut feeling that she was genuine

Unfortunately dishonest people have used children/young women as a way of getting into homes for nefarious purposes, and in my situation I wouldn't be prepared to take that risk.

I'd have a slightly different view if I'd done my house extension, and the toilet was a single cubicle right by the front door.

I did let a teenaged girl in to use our powder room right beside the front door. I waited right by the door and was on the phone to my neighbour...in case something went down.

YABU for responding to a question that you think is fact!

YABU for not understanding that a disability can make some things difficult, you don't need to understand the disability. Just accept that life is more difficult for some.

YABU to say you found a toilet in the Australian outback, the OPs friend was a passenger with someone unwilling to look for a place where she could use a toilet.

YABU in 1994 we didn't have servos or shoppes, still don't! We do have many more service stations and shops though in 2024.

.*think is daft!

Of course you would. But this is mumsnet where no one ever crosses the doorstep and they don't let workmen use the loo so expect a flurry of nos, she could have been an axe murderer.

I probably would but only because we have a loo right by the front door and only the person using it would be allowed in.

Think things were different back then and yes probably would of let you in to pee. When I was only 17 back in the 80's a group of us went to Slane Castle to see Queen and the people we hitched a lift with let us camp in their garden not far from the venue and the 2nd night it was raining let the 4 of us sleep in their living room. Unthinkable to do that now but we were all so young and people were different then. The world has changed a lot since the 80's. Not sure if I would let someone in now as would be too afraid. If it was a bunch of young girls I probably would let one girl in but only if my son was here as he would protect me if anything got dodgy as he's 6ft 2 and strong.

No. Would never let anyone I didn't know in. Seen too much Crimewatch. I'm a single woman with a child. Although I live in a flat with an intercom system so no one ever comes knocking anyway!

So according to thus, a boy under 10 cannot see a naked mannequin, but any old Tom dick or Harry cannot be refused entrance to your loo, meaning if you had a girl under 10 in the house she'd risk seeing a man's bits!!

Not a random teenager (or adult) but our DPD delivery driver once asked and she looked DESPERATE bless her so we let her as we’d known her in passing for years at that point.

I have so many questions @BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants !

You hitched a ride with them, but you knew them before to stay in their garden?

Or did you and your friends just head to the venue with a tent and were going to pitch up wherever you found somewhere? Then you found a lift and a garden to camp in on the journey?

Did you travel home with them too?

You said there were 4 of you...did you all squeeze into the back seat?

And how were Queen?! Must have been an amazing show.

You must be joking surely, no one could be that weird, how is asking for water cheeky?

Being honest- no. Its not because I am unkind or don't want to help but we have had several scam callers round our way who have knocked on the door pretending to be selling stuff, pretending to want to buy our car, pretending to want xyz and there have been burglaries and older ladies who have been robbed. It has unfortunately made me very suspicious of people and that is why I would have said no. If I hadn't had those experiences in my neighbourhood I would have said yes.

Its a real shame that people do this as it makes you instantly regard everyone as dodgy.

I'd also seriously question why the youth leader didnt go with her as that sound dangerous for her too