To want a female only dorm in a bunkhouse?

[Firefightress1]

Im doing a long walk next month in the highlands of scotland. Accomodation is limited to hostels and bunkhouses in some locations. Apparently they are no longer able to ask your gender so all rooms in the bunkhouse I am staying are unisex.

I've asked to be put in with another female and been told the other bunk is booked but because of gdpr they can't tell me if I am sharing with a male or female.

Is this not completely bonkers? Am I being unreasonable to want to know who is going to be in the same room as me while im sleeping or is this just normal and the risk you take?

I'm perplexed and a bit stressed about it.

Except it’s not is it? There’s the hotel, right next door.

So you do have a choice.

Hiding behind GDPR is bollocks. Is it was true no one could enquire if their doctor was male or female.

I stayed in a youth hostel last year and when I arrived went to my Female dorm only to find a TW in there.

went back to the manager and said “found my room but there’s a man in there!” He apologised and put me in a single room but that’s not the point. Apparently you can book in under any name online. You are meant to show valid photo ID on arrival but who knows how strict they are

This. And especially because you were quite happy with the bunk room being unisex when you stayed in it with your husband. You are being unreasonable in now expecting the bunkhouse to only offer it on single sex basis.

Could you get a room in the hotel?
Or get a taxi to take you to a bed and breakfast and bring you back in the morning.
A friend did this on the West Highland Way.
When we did it we camped and did bed and breakfast

Thanks everyone, I can't afford the hotel which is 288 for a night so I'm going with it. Cheers for all the comments. I'm taking a tent as a last resort. I still think you should be able to ask who is sharing a room with you! It might be only 54quid a night bit it's still not OK!

I guess you've ruled out staying 2 nights at the place before, and using a taxi to pick you up at Kingshouse and drop you back there in the morning? Not ideal and tent gives you more flexibility.

Would you expect a trans woman to share with men?

I wouldn’t want to share with anyone I don’t know (or many that I do), irrespective of gender. So I don’t, personally.

I think you’d be more vulnerable in a tent though?

Yes

But what if the other person identifies as a woman and so they tell you its a woman. Then when you turn up its a 6' bloke in a bad wig who wants to talk about periods.

A transwoman is man and therefore should share with men.

This.

Cancel the whole thing and walk elsewhere.

Can a petition be treated to stop this lunacy. To protect women generally?

I was thinking take your sleeping bag, and lock yourself in a bathroom overnight, at least you will be indoors. What a ridiculous situation.
Its so unsafe.
im so sorry you are in this ridiculous situation, how unsafe life already is, and now getting worse for women.
I’ve bought my girls a door wedge for when they were in student accomodation, im still thinking of the bathroom ..Of course it depends how clean everything is too 😫

That's not to say you won't have problems this time. Especially as you have no idea who you'll bunk with. No safeguarding? No single women should be sharing with men under any guise then.

IMHO this kind of setup is a bad 'uns wet dream.

Yes, I'm a pessimist but I'm also under no illusions that there are a lot of bad blokes out there. I've unfortunately come across a few and learned my lesson very well.

I love the comment that you could book a hotel room, but choose not to!!!

Some of us just don’t have the funds !!!

I was just thinking that. As you age, you usually gain more confidence with your life experience. A younger person is far less confident, less experienced and potentially more vulnerable to exploitation.

I wonder if this bunkhouse would rethink its policies if teenage girls were regularly raped on the premises by middle-aged men?

That's all very well but as women are at more risk of rape than men and single sex spaces are a deterrent to rape, there's a case here that their policy illegally discriminates against women.

Bars used to make it difficult and uncomfortable for women in the olden days - laws against discrimination were used thfn too

But they’re not though, are they? Or we’d hear about it.

If I were a man some of these comments would offend me immensely- why are posters assuming all men are sex attackers? What if we went down the line of assuming all women are thieves and after their wallets?

As for the previous description of a trans woman being six feet tall with a bad wig and talking periods… sheeesh!! I hope that’s not the general MN definition or I’m in the wrong company.

But you’re discriminating against men. By saying they are all a risk to women.

Could you walk to Kingshouse as planned and pre book a taxi to take you to glencoe or ballachullish?

But this is mumsnet, where women are speaking in a safe space about their fears and experiences. Don't come with the whole "not all men are sex offenders" rubbish; we know they aren't, we just don't know which ones are. As for the comparison of women might be thieves, I would much rather be a man who had his wallet stolen than a woman who had been raped.

Yes they're male.
100% of "transwomen" are male.

What about a man who has his life destroyed by a fake rape accuser then? But this could run on and on, so…

Just because it’s MN, doesn’t mean I have to toe the party line if I don’t agree with what I consider transphobic comments being made. Or discrimination against men. Or frankly, hysteria. This is my space too, it’s not limited to group thinkers as far as I’m aware.

Anyway, I suggest people have a look at the Facebook page previously mentioned. Context being everything etc etc… may help with perspective. They’re just hikers, wanting a happy time. And the person who posted on there also asked the bunkhouse for the name of the roomie, which I can understand raising data issues.

As you were.