No phone for secondary school

[StillCreatingAName]

AIBU? I feel like I might be missing something obvious on this one, but honestly why do children need to take a smartphone to school? It’s baffling me as to why there appears to be parents on auto pilot buying their children smartphones (£££) now in year 6, ready for year 7 as though it’s part of a uniform policy (and then sharing their purchase on the class WhatsApp, give me strength).

Is this all just a fallout from lockdown times, people were sort of forced into screen life, so now there’s more children at secondary school with them, who may not have ordinarily had a phone until older?
I’m expecting dc to walk home with friends talking and socialising without the inclusion of a screen or mindlessly scrolling social media instead of listening to friends. I can see where a basic phone might be needed to contact home, but that doesn’t mean the phone should be out of school bag anytime during school hours should it, but maybe I’m just being naive, time will tell 🤷‍♀️?

AIBU to say children don’t need to get a £££ phone for starting secondary school? (It goes without saying they don’t need it at all for primary school, IMHO)?

My son is 14 and has a mobile phone which he takes to and from school.
His train tickets are on his phone and with me using ‘find my iPhone’ I can see exactly where he is incase a train is late or cancelled so I don’t have to worry.
He doesn’t walk or travel with other children either.
Each child and family will have their own circumstances as to why they’ll have one for travelling to and from school, please don’t judge!

No phones permitted at our secondary school. Lots of complaining from pupils and parents, but personally I support the policy.

Children caught with a phone in school receive an automatic after-school detention and a parent is required to collect the confiscated phone.

The only exceptions are diabetic children using an app to manage their medication and those with after-school sports fixtures (who must hand their phone in during the school day).

My children got them at the end of yr 4, so aged 9. So they could keep mine touch with their friends over the summer, but also from yr 5 they were able to leave school without an adult so my children started walking part way home in yr 5. It was needed for emergencies. My eldest is nearly 15 and still doesn't have any social media, not even snap chat which I believe is a popular one amongst children. I don't think their needed or healthy for children, but if she asked for them now I would probably allow it

I don't know why the parents feel the need to share. My son took his number in on a few post its and handed it to his friends who already had phones. We were one of the last ones to get them too!

Our school doesn’t allow phones to be used on school premises - although strangely when my DD went to the office to sign out when I had to take her to the dentist they asked her to ring me and hand them her phone so I could verify I was genuinely a parent collecting her. Not sure how that works. They’d be better off calling the number they have for me but that’s besides the point. They appreciate kids need them and they are allowed them for journey but most keep them off and in bags. If phones are seen out in school they are confiscated and parents have to collect at the end of the day. But some teachers do allow them out for certain reasons such as photographing homework off the board or my DD was allows to photograph her test score to show me at home. So I guess bad behaviour around phones is really what is punished.

They do however require all children to have a Chromebook. Those on free school meals are given one for free but everyone else is expected to buy one. Either outright or over a 2 year payment plan. All their work is done on the Chromebooks. Even if they’re writing in exercise books they will need to access the Chromebook for resources. However all the apps on Google are also available on homes so my daughter does often check her emails and timetable on her phone and sometimes at home prefers to complete something on her phone that getting her Chromebook out. But phones aren’t needed really.

However, if you don’t allow your child a phone with access to at least what’s app then you are socially excluding them from an entire peer group. They communicate a lot by smart phone. Organise meet ups, discuss homework on video call etc. My eldest is autistic and doesn’t really like communicating with people outside of school so she deletes herself from alot of groups she gets added to. But she does have one or two close friends who she messages. It keeps her on the loop. And a few of her out of school activities also have group chats for older teens - rangers, stageschool etc. Since she’s joined rangers I’ve moved that the leader likes to send reminders direct to the girls - parents are also in the group but saves them remembering to pass things on and keeps parents in the loop too. But they are 14+.

My youngest also does out of school activities with girls she doesn’t go to school with and who she only sees an hour a week but they’ve really bonded more since they formed a group chat. They’re all 11 (y6&y7) but it’s been lovely seeing how their friendships have blossomed more than just an hour a week.

There are lots of down sides to smart phones but I think the way society has gone it can be really hard to deny them access to it. It meds to be supervised. I check phones. We’ve had lots of conversations about what’s appropriate and what’s not and what to do if inappropriate things appear. Mine are very good and coming straight down to show me of any messages come through that are offensive/bullying and know how to repeat things too.

Mine also live between my home and their dad’s so it means we always have an open line of communication. They track me and I track them. They can call me when they want to. Know what to do in an emergency.

I've got a 16 year old and 19 year old. Both had phones at the end of Year 6 in preparation for secondary.
They were allowed at school but had to stay in bags. Year 9 + could have them at break times. Teachers often used their phones as "Buzzers" in lessons for Cahoot quizzes. Used as a translator in language classes. Pictures of art work, food etcTimetables on them. School email on them. Homework on them.

Someone said about diaries or paper timetables. Ultimately it is COST. Cheaper for schools to have an app and quicker to fix if their is an error. All through secondary school they have not had a single physical textbook all online- again cheaper!
Once children are at school they don't even have to pay for Microsoft applications as each school will have a unique free code.
Also on a smartphone you can put better parental controls and have software where you can read everything on their phone. As for SM the kids don't use FB it's Snapchat, Instagram or Tik tok. Regardless of a smartphone of they have any tech they can access it.

My son is a type 1 diabetic and needs a phone to monitor his blood sugar and send alerts.
My daughter is autistic and uses headphones with music on her phone to shut out external stimulation.
You do you, its none of your business what everyone else does.

My son got a smartphone for secondary. They are not allowed to use them in the day, unless to call home, with permission, in front of a staff member. The school have apps for everything including timetables and homework. All his homework is done and downloaded via his phone. There isn't an alternative to this.

Dare I suggest, some of the money spent on a smartphone data plan each month could instead be used as a payment for notebooks, textbooks, stationery or whatever the school might be short of due to costs…

Everyone here talking about the dangers of mobile phones has been scrolling MN on their smartphone for hours 🤣

my DS’s had smartphones at secondary, they had their Revolut cards on them, bus passes, and it was invaluable when one of them got on a bus in the wrong side of the road and I had to help him navigate his way home! Also DS2 has adhd and is a detour risk in his way home - a smart phone helps stop him being quite so impulsive!

I'm in two minds. My son was the last one to get a mobile in y6, walked home fine without one. He was getting one anyway for his birthday but then he was diagnosed with a medical condition and needed one as medical device to assist with keeping him alive so I appreciate his use is not typical (and I had to get him a much better smartphone than I had planned). Now in high school, he needs it for actually getting on the bus after school (mobile tickets), checking his bank balance as he now goes to shops on his own etc... which he would need regardless of medical needs. A basic phone would not cut it for this modern world. Anyway, I ended up buying his sister a smart phone last year when she was 9! Never thought I'd do that but I got fed up of her always being on video calls to her friends on my phone. She also uses it for managing her bank account, playing games & video calling friends etc... so far, neither child is fussed on social media (beyond WhatsApp) and I am dreading the day they are.

No, you're right. They may need a non smartphone for safety if walking to/from school or home alone. And that's it.
Do you want your yr 6/7 child and up to be freely able to access pyrography?
They can access the Web and apps at home, under supervision and monitoring.

All dcs homework is on an app on phone
Sometimes they have free time at the end of a lesson of class work is complete and they use the time to log on to get a headstart on homework.
Or during wet lunchtimes they often do.

My eldest got a smartphone just before starting year 7. ( second hand reconditioned)
His homework and timetable is on an app, there’s different apps for different subjects too, with links to resources and articles when he has to do assignments.
As pp have mentioned, they arrange to meet up on group whatsapp at weekends and holidays too.
He has a 30 minute walk to get to school and I can track him and see he’s arrived safely.
I can’t say I’ve noticed the kids walking back from school using phones, just chatting in groups or cycling along.
All of his friends have phones too.

To be honest, I'm 33 and I had a phone as soon as I went to secondary school as did 90% of my year group, it's my a new thing. We scrolled MySpace and bebo endlessly, as well as MSN. We played games on our phones and spent hours texting.
Kids have smart phones to blend in and not get picked on. You give your kid a brick and they will probably get bullied for it.
My 13 year old has a decent smart phone, not the latest one but a decent one. Also means I can be sure of his location with the family app on it too. And yes we didn't have that and I survived, but I also got up to a lot of no good because my parents couldn't tell were I was.

We already pay for education, we should not have to add funds because the government are useless and not prioritising our children. Extra money for the school should be for extras like great trips or special art supplies not pens! Which actually secondary don't supply stationary anyway!

Thanks, I’ve just watched this @BingoMarieHeeler 😟 everyone on this thread who thinks I shouldn’t be stopping to have a think about whether I give my yr6 anything more than a very basic phone, needs to watch this 😞

There has to be an alternative. What is the alternative for the children without smartphones?

If I turned up to work without my phone and laptop, I’d still be expected to work.

I completely disagree with the need for kids to have phones. But... a few things, not having one is definitely not cool or whatever they say nowdays, the second point is ease of contact for parents, on their way home if they have a longer journey or do late sports clubs. My son has a phone, he is year y and not allowed it for school and he has one of our old ones for a while until I got him a new iphone 11 for a birthday present, but I did get a hefty discount due to knowing someone who worked for the provider. He still thinks he should be having the latest iphone out. For cotext my phone is a 5 year old weird brand as I think iphones are overated.

If your kid has a phone they will see porn - if your kid doesn’t have a phone they will still see porn because the kids that do have phones will show them. Giving young kids a device that has access to pretty much everything in the world is madness. They will absolutely use it to see stuff they shouldn’t.
A very innocent 12 year old girl, without a phone, was shown hardcore images by other kids with phones while just visiting the school bathroom.
They use them to bully each other. Taking photos under bathroom doors, in the gym changing rooms, and sharing on Snapchat - they are used as tools by bullies. Your child might have safety features on their own phone and they may use it wisely but some of their classmates won’t, and your child will be affected by this.
I think schools should have a rule that phones are strictly kept in bags during school hours unless the phone is needed for medical reasons.

Why just phones? Why not tablets, computers,laptops , hell even tvs?

For the porn thing i mean.

It doesn't work like that.

There are no advantages to giving an 11 year old a phone vs a 14 year old a phone.

But I can think of plenty of disadvantages.

Parents need to stop being such sheeple and stop buying phones if they disagree with them then.

You can have a brick phone if you need to contact someone.

My dd just has a text/call sim. No data.

Some parents at the school have tried to organise meetings for the smartphone free childhood thing which works by trying to get a whole year group to commit to not giving their children phones.

It does concern me because smartphones are an accessibility aid for some children, eg children with a visual impairment. It doesn’t really seem right that their parents are having to justify why they let their child use one and it’s like they’re letting the side down.

I think the vast majority of dc have a phone at that age and a lot of their socialising takes place online. I have no desire for my dc to be left out or not able to participate with normal peer activities.

I don't ascribe to the idea that restricting phones into the teen years is any sort of parenting virtue. We live in the world we live in. Phones are a part of our society.