Guy I was dating said he needed to be challenged more

[Letthemusicplayy]

I went on around 6 dates with a guy. We didn't meet for around 5 weeks as I was abroad at the time, however we messaged daily.
I had already met him in a previous job, but we lost contact and unexpectedly got back in touch a couple of years later.
Looking back I should've seen signs, him going on about my looks, calling me amazing very early on, then being flaky about the first date times. Saying his very first impression of me at work is that I was 'hot' 🙄
Sorry if it's TMI but might help for context, I spent the night with him twice. He was saying how 'natural' things feel between us and how he "really likes where things are going".
Anyway after date 6, he dropped me off home and his vibe changed IMMEDIATELY.
For the next fortnight, all affection gone, no arranging future plans, being cold on me.
I wish I'd just left it but I asked what was up. He said something felt off. I probed a bit further and he said I don't 'challenge/battle' him enough.
Like I admit I was blindsided a little, we'd had what I thought were very interesting discussions and I didn't exactly agree with everything he said.
His consolation was that I had an 'amazing body ' 🙄 well, that's alright then.
Not sure what else I could've done or why he instantly changed after that date? Not even 100% sure what he meant by 'battle' him more?!

Bullet dodged there, I think.

Hopefully yes! I guess I'll never truly know. It's just knocked my self esteem a little and made me feel like I'm boring or something.

I don’t think it matter what he meant - some bs probably. He’s clearly a total t**t and you could do significantly better.

Ugh that’s so classic it’s a cliche. He just wanted to sleep with you then treat you badly for his own ego. Don’t focus on his specific comment, he’s just picked something random to criticise so he can reject you and get the thrill of you asking what you did wrong etc.

He’s just a loser obsessed with sleeping with lots of women and incapable of a real emotional connection. Block and delete.

Thank you, I just find his cockiness astounding, it's like he thinks he's mega intellectual and that I'm not.

Pfft. Challenge him to fuck off and not let the door hit his arse on the way out.

YABU but only because you are searching for where you went wrong and how you could have done ot different. This is where you are going wrong; you didn't do anything wrong. You are you, and trying to be anything other than you isn't a basis for a relationship.

Look at this as a difference of personalities.

Personally I think he's a dick for all the red flags he is flying according to your narrative, you've definitely dodged a bullet. You definitely need to look back at that with relief rather than "what did I do wrong" attitude.

I should turn up with a pair of boxing gloves next time 🤣

He is talking complete waffle. Lucky escape. What a dick.

You're right, I need to keep telling myself that I have dodged a huge bullet :)

YABU to give a shiny shit what he meant. He wanted to make you feel bad, and himself feel superior. Dickhead.

He sounds rather up himself.

I hope you can move on and find someone lovely.

Sounds like he wants a toxic relationship. Lucky escape OP!

Yes he’s playing games and he’s left it on this footing hoping that you will try and prove yourself or fight for his attention to prove you’re not boring. I was listening to an audio book called lalala let me explain and she literally speaks about men like this. I mean think about it - it’s worked, he’s left you questioning yourself instead of him and starting to feel like the only thing you have to offer is your body.

Send him a sudoku puzzle and tell him to F off! Sorry my luv, sounds like he was after an ego boost.

He probably thought I was 'hot' as he kindly put it and saw it as some sort of challenge to 'get' me. He didn't even have to say that, he could've just said I don't feel a romantic connection. Disgusting that he tried to blame me, I really have had a lucky escape you're all right.

Comment of the day! 😂🏆

eggs fucking zactly 100%

He sounds deep as a puddle. My money is on him being intimidated by you, sounds like physically he views you as “out of his league” so he’s used some weird negging to try and make it sound like he’s ending it because he’s a big intellectual. No Greg, you just listen to too many podcasts.

Don’t engage with him again and block him. He wants you to try and prove him “wrong”.

Sounds like he got the ick. Anyway at least you can find someone who truly likes you

Honestly? I think the entire world has gone batshit with psychology videos that they watch on TikTok and then decide that their life should be like that.

We are now in a generation who’s been completely raised like that. And older ones seem to be absorbing it like sponges actually.

So in dating, the things people are looking for just seem absolutely mad.

I mean if he wants a challenge, can’t he get a personal trainer?! it’s not you. I’m sure you’re lovely.

Ugh. So he's a bloke who always has to win even when you didn't realise it was fucking competition, will never be anything but right and likely enjoys angry 'make up' sex (ie, violent/abusive stuff).

That's not a bullet you dodged, it was an entire armoury.

never thought of it this way but you're absolutely right!

There really are some twats (normally men) around....

Roll your eyes and move on. Whatever the motivation behind that hilarious statement it’s not a good look for a person.