Guy I was dating said he needed to be challenged more

[Letthemusicplayy]

I went on around 6 dates with a guy. We didn't meet for around 5 weeks as I was abroad at the time, however we messaged daily.
I had already met him in a previous job, but we lost contact and unexpectedly got back in touch a couple of years later.
Looking back I should've seen signs, him going on about my looks, calling me amazing very early on, then being flaky about the first date times. Saying his very first impression of me at work is that I was 'hot' 🙄
Sorry if it's TMI but might help for context, I spent the night with him twice. He was saying how 'natural' things feel between us and how he "really likes where things are going".
Anyway after date 6, he dropped me off home and his vibe changed IMMEDIATELY.
For the next fortnight, all affection gone, no arranging future plans, being cold on me.
I wish I'd just left it but I asked what was up. He said something felt off. I probed a bit further and he said I don't 'challenge/battle' him enough.
Like I admit I was blindsided a little, we'd had what I thought were very interesting discussions and I didn't exactly agree with everything he said.
His consolation was that I had an 'amazing body ' 🙄 well, that's alright then.
Not sure what else I could've done or why he instantly changed after that date? Not even 100% sure what he meant by 'battle' him more?!

He hasn't really done anything very wrong...he has essentially said he superficially fancies you but the depth of connection/intellectual stimulation isn't there for him.

People are allowed to cut their losses over such.

Nah, he sounds like a pathetic little misogynist - not someone reasonable who has ‘cut their losses’. His whole tone and language exposes him as a dickhead. Don’t give him another thought.

I'd be worried he wants to "battle" his partner. I think it's healthy to have debate but anyone wanting to actively fight their partner verbally (presumably what he meant here) could escalate that into a very toxic situation. Well rid OP, I'd suggest you are too composed and self assured for this guy to manipulate into a fight and he wants someone he can at some point call crazy.

I put you are being unreasonable as he us obviously just not that I to you. Don't give it a second thought x

"Thanks for letting me know I'm too good for you"

And block.

he said I don't 'challenge/battle' him enough.
What? That's not the basis for an ongoing, loving relationship.
You want 'kind / GOSH', not his weird dynamic.
Definite bullet dodged.

He came on fast and cooled off just as fast.

Next !

(And no, before you ask, you didn't do anything wrong.)

It gets my vote too

A lot of people are looking for high conflict relationships (whether they realise it or not). This may or may not have been the case with him.

Don’t think about it in terms of what you’ve done wrong. Or even him tbh. It sounds like you just weren’t right for each other. I hope you meet someone more promising soon.

I wonder if his parents have one of those relationships where they argue loudly and vociferously all the time and have passionate interludes when they are all over one another, and he mistakes this for a 'good' relationship. Many people think 'challenge me' means 'argue with me and then have hot sex to make up for yelling.'

I'm interested in current affairs, I read, I have various hobbies, I have a Master's degree. It made me feel like I've nothing of interest to say and that I'm not intellectually stimulating.

Well comfort yourself that you aren't a cradle robber because honestly he sounds about 12. He's got some growing up to do from the sounds of it.

That list there makes it sound like you lack self confidence (imo). Who are you as a person? Are you comfortable in your own skin etc? Academic achievements aren't everything. What do you like to do for fun? Stuff that you're not judged for, but you just like doing for the sake of it?

I would not assume he meant challenge him intellectually.

From such a shallow dude, I would assume he meant - be more of a challenge to get into bed and get as a partner.

If he thinks like that, best it did not work out and you're no longer involved with him. I'd suspect he's a cheater, moves on a lot, couldn't cope with a real relationship etc etc

Or he is used to and expects lots of game playing and nonsense and toxicity.

Again, appreciate he's moving on.

I think you could reply "I'm glad you recognise we aren't on the same page. It's all good intel for updating the profile requirements though!" Then promptly amend your page to request only men who like capable women need apply.
Spin on that twatbadgerer.

As an side, it sounds like you're extremely hot, so you'll have no bother getting someone else 😁

Oh OP! I’m so sorry. You dodged a bullet. He sounds ridiculous and immature. Please try to not think about this anymore, he really isn’t worth your time or your worry. You won’t learn anything useful from whatever his decision was based on. Don’t let this silly boy rock your confidence.

I'd challenge him to not be a pretentious arse 🙄🙄

For him, you're not.

He's looking for something/one else and that's ok.

😂😂

Some men can't just end things because they've scratched an itch and they don't think you're compatible long term, they have to come up with some utter bullshit 'reason' ie, a 'failing' of yours in order to get under your skin just a little bit and this is what he's gone with. Urgh.

I think he's been straight up and honest. He has told the truth rather than oiling out of it with pish. Six dates in and he's not going to waste his or her time taking it further.

Men are allowed to have preferences when it comes to compatibility. Yes, they really are.

It doesn't sound like a 'bullshit reason' to me or that he wants to get under her skin. You're imagining it. It's a straightforward no thanks. What's wrong with that? Or is it because it's a man deigning to turn down a woman and THAT is not allowed?

@pictoosh. Nah. Going for the angle 'it's not me it's you' is wanker-like behaviour designed to upset and get under the skin. There's no need for it. A neutral 'I don't feel we are compatible', 'I've had great fun with you but I don't see a future' would be decent, up front and and straightforward. If you think having him having a little dig at the OP, and the fact it's sadly worked, is completely fine, then we don't agree. Which is ok by me.

It sounds like 'negging' tbh.