Guy I was dating said he needed to be challenged more

[Letthemusicplayy]

I went on around 6 dates with a guy. We didn't meet for around 5 weeks as I was abroad at the time, however we messaged daily.
I had already met him in a previous job, but we lost contact and unexpectedly got back in touch a couple of years later.
Looking back I should've seen signs, him going on about my looks, calling me amazing very early on, then being flaky about the first date times. Saying his very first impression of me at work is that I was 'hot' 🙄
Sorry if it's TMI but might help for context, I spent the night with him twice. He was saying how 'natural' things feel between us and how he "really likes where things are going".
Anyway after date 6, he dropped me off home and his vibe changed IMMEDIATELY.
For the next fortnight, all affection gone, no arranging future plans, being cold on me.
I wish I'd just left it but I asked what was up. He said something felt off. I probed a bit further and he said I don't 'challenge/battle' him enough.
Like I admit I was blindsided a little, we'd had what I thought were very interesting discussions and I didn't exactly agree with everything he said.
His consolation was that I had an 'amazing body ' 🙄 well, that's alright then.
Not sure what else I could've done or why he instantly changed after that date? Not even 100% sure what he meant by 'battle' him more?!

That remark alone tells you everything you need to know.
He's a total twat.
Let him go and find his challenges,God help his next victim

I wonder if it’s similar in a way to what a couple of my female friends have said - that they need a man who will say no to them and not be a doormat otherwise they’ll act like a brat (not saying you are a doormat OP). It’s always sounded pretty childish and red flaggy to me so I think you dodged a bullet

What a dickhead - you did absolutely nothing wrong.

Far too good for him on all levels I suspect , and he knew It.

Tell him you hope he finds what he’s looking for and then block.

Like a previous poster I reckon you’ll hear from him again, please don’t give him another chance, he’ll only mess with your head.

Complete tosser.

I’m not sure if this could be similar but a guy once broke up with me for being “too nice” and not challenging him enough. He grew up with parents who fought constantly (still do) so this was the model he’d internalized of what relationships should be like. I, on the other hand, grew up with parents who were (and still are) very happily married so I expected more harmony in a relationship. We were clearly wrong for each other but are still great friends. (He is now in a very turbulent and dramatic marriage with a very volatile girl - currently separated for the 3rd or 4th time). I’m wondering if your guy grew up in a similar situation to your ex and it has coloured his view of what relationships should be like. Anyway, no longer your problem.

He thinks a lot of himself doesn’t he! Well at least one thing can be guaranteed to not be a challenge and that’s not having to put up with his twattishness again. You can tell his highness to go do one!

He’s playing mind games with you. Any decent person would have just said it wasn’t working for them and maybe given a generic reason as it was still very early days. He was being obnoxious and superior.

Consider this as a bullet dodged.
A man who comes out with a pathetic excuse of not being challenged needs to give his head a serious wobble.🙄

Standard cliched excuse for 'I like to sleep with women and immediately dump them'. I need someone more x/y/z gives them an extra thrill of finishing it with an insult. Very common type of jerk sadly.

You're not boring OP! Sounds like he needs soduku what a twat

Does he want drama, squabbling, disagreement? A bullet dodged, I agree.

I mean I kinda like men not to be yes men and have their own opinions and to be able to have a healthy debate here and there and it's a turnoff to be agreed with constantly... I don't feel like I'm more valued if they just want to please me, I feel irritated by it and enjoy some banter and might even describe it like "enjoying being challenged"

But OPs got herself a prick and dodged a bullet, I wouldn't tell a man they didn't challenge me but were hot, or that they were yes men, I'd just end it apologising that I didn't feel we had a future together and wish them the best 🤷‍♀️ and if asked tell them they'd done nothing wrong, because they haven't... it's just not compulsory to stay with someone who does nothing wrong if you don't feel like it, and surely kinder to not waste their time further when people out there will genuinely appreciate their personalities and efforts dating

Even if you think someone isn't on par with you on something, who the fuck tells someone they think that? Seems like a private thought not necessary to share and wound someone with and it's an opinion he's actually dumb enough to think adding hey but you're hot softens how it feels to be told "I think I can do better"

He's an asshole how he's done it but OP is free to be with someone who appreciates her and knows what a knob he can be with words ... she's the winner really

The utter, wanky, naval-gazing, twatty dimwit! "Need to be challenged more" - ridiculous.

In my experience men will pretty much fuck anyone given the chance
then give some bullshit reason why they aren’t feeling it with you .
and yes they will wait a few weeks if they think they are going to get a fuck

however if the sex was good and your not to complicated - they will pop back up when they need a fuck
Rinse & Repeat 😂

I had an ex like this. Magic circle lawyer. Absolutely heartbroken when he dumped me because I thought he was perfect. But then saw who he married (went to their wedding, as all family friends). Another magic circle lawyer. Just constantly competing and debating with each other.

I would find that absolutely exhausting. His Mum said I was too nice for him. Which is saying something as I'm not particularly nice lol.

Also, you clearly have everything going for you! Move on.

He probably wanted the "challenge" of trying to sleep with someone else.

Perfick!

He's a humper and dumper. Short term only.

Forget him and find yourself a man - or not as the mood leads you. Treat yourself to something nice to feel better.

He probably usually goes for unavailable women, i.e. married or coupled up ones. Try not to take it personally he’s just much more fucked up than you are.

I had a guy dump me after 3 months because he was looking for an intellectual connection and all we had was great sex. I was so insulted! I mean, the sex was fine, not great, and I'm really clever and interesting! 😆 what a twat.

Do they actually 'hear' themselves when they're making these proclamations? Idiots. Good luck to him. Twat.

🚩🚩s and bullet dodged. His comment is not intended to belittle your intellectual capabilities - it’s his way for forewarning you that he likes to dominate (for which read control and potentially abuse) so it’s out in the open.

If you took the bait and tried to ‘step up’ to challenge him, you’d soon find yourself caught in a trap. He asks you to behave that way so he can enjoy tearing you down and reducing you to nothing. It’s no fun for him unless you’re a ‘challenge’. If this interaction has knocked your self esteem, imagine what a relationship with him would eventually do to you…

Block, ignore and thank your lucky stars he was that unsubtle about showing you who he is.