Why can’t they spell my son’s name correctly

[Itstakeawaynight]

Our son is 26. The shortened version of his name, which is the only version we’ve ever used since the day he was born has three letters. The female version has two letters.

My sister in law, every single time, every birthday card, every present label is always spelt the female way, with two letters. It’s really pissed me off over the years, but she’s highly sensitive to criticism so I’ve never corrected her. She’s still just done it again on his birthday. Would I be unreasonable to say something.

He's 26! If it's not bothering him, ignore it.

If your son is 26 it should be him saying something if it bothers him, not his mum.

After 26 years? Why cant your son ‘Joe’ correct her himself??

I have a Joe this wouldn't bother me at all.

Joe?. I have one, and my Mil always writes Jo. It doesn't bother him it's not a measure of how much she loves him.

Jo and Joe?

YABU because Jo can be male or female

also shortened versions don't always have a "correct! spelling. We happened to realise when my son was at uni that he and I spelt his nick name differently - it had never come up before that! And it didn't matter, and we still spell it differently.

His full name, on his birth certificate, we spell the same

OP

If its not done maliciously which its not as you know, please just move on and appreciate the cards, the caring/love people have for him/you/family

There are bigger things to worry about than that, IMHO

Enjoy your weekend/hols

If it bothered Joe, he would say something wouldn't he?

At 26, you'd think so.

I do love the name Joe though. I think it's my favourite.

After 26 years, I would have thought you'd let this go by now.

I don't think it's the SIL who's sensitive tbf.

You've literally never corrected her but are angry about it. I wouldn't bother saying anything 26 years in.

Is he a Joe? My ex-MIL did this but she was a cunt.

Surely what matters is that she cares enough to buy a gift/send a card in the first place?

I was going to guess Joe/Jo too. Not helpful to the OP I know.

At least you given your DS a standard name.

Its those normal names which parents give them a different spelling; On one forum, there was a poster - teacher and one of their pupils is called Katelan pronounced Caitlyn. FFS why give your kid a different spelling to the norm and the poor child has to spend half its life spelling their name out.

My grandmother always put an E in my sons name. It should be an A. The one year she got it right she put a line though it and wrote it with an E underneath 😂
He still has that card from her, as she put a PS I finally spelt your name right, love the G'ma

Your sil? As in your brothers wife? If so, maybe he could write the cards and sort the presents for his side of the family, rather than her doing it incorrectly. Your son could mention it to his uncle that he'd rather the presents came from him rather than with a letter missed out.

If you've never corrected her, then how is she supposed to magically discover that she's doing it wrong? Why on earth didn't you correct her the first time, presumably when he was a baby? He's 26 now: if he cares then he can correct her himself.

Bless her that's adorable.

About to post the same! If you’ve never corrected her, how was she to know it’s either the wrong spelling, or you’re upset by it?

You should have said it years ago. Pointing out a mistake is not criticism. And if she is 'highly sensitive' that does not excuse silence.

I have a short name with 2 possible spellings. You'd be surprised how often I get a reply to an email (which I've signed with the correct spelling) with my name spelt with the incorrect spelling. I just laugh and reflect that the other person is either dyslexic or just lacks attention to detail.
After 60 years I can't really get worked up about it. Hopefully Joe feels the same!

You are being unreasonable for never having corrected her in the first place. Why are you asking now?!