Why can’t they spell my son’s name correctly

[Itstakeawaynight]

Our son is 26. The shortened version of his name, which is the only version we’ve ever used since the day he was born has three letters. The female version has two letters.

My sister in law, every single time, every birthday card, every present label is always spelt the female way, with two letters. It’s really pissed me off over the years, but she’s highly sensitive to criticism so I’ve never corrected her. She’s still just done it again on his birthday. Would I be unreasonable to say something.

He's 26! If it's bothering him, then he's a big boy and can say something himself.

Blimey I’m surprised she’s still sending cards/presents at 26; don’t most families knock it on the head at 18/21?
I can’t imagine most 26 year old young men being the slightest bit bothered whether or not they get a card.

A friend's wife is either Niki, Nikki, Nickie or Nicky. I only see it written once a year, in their Christmas card, and try to correct it on our list, but never remember if I did that or not, so never sure if I got it right.

Yabu because you have never corrected her. She didnt know the first time and every time sense when you didnt correct has given the message she is spelling correctly.

It may be obvious to you but it isnt obvious to everyone. Perhaps she knew a male Jo and thought that is the usual spelling. Perhaps she has only known female Jo and didnt realise there is a different spelling.

If she is sensitive then telling her now may be worse than telling her the first time.

Drives me round the bend when people add another letter to DH's name.

I think it's egotistical as fuck when people get all chewed up about their name being spelled incorrectly.
What does it actually matter?

My name gets misspelled on the regular, as does my son's and my daughter's.
None of us mind. It's not a personal affront.

Make it one if you must...but I think that's a 'you' thing.

You’re pissed off because you haven’t said something. Just tell her nicely. She’s made the effort of getting a present wrapping and labelling it (where’s your brother?!) and you’re annoyed at her?

I don’t like it when my sons name is spelt the English way instead of Irish.

Even before that made the effort to learn someone’s name correctly. Spelling and pronunciation. To me, not doing that is ignorant.

I never even realised one was supposed to be the female spelling and one the male spelling. 😁

My DH is 62, his sister is 65 and she still can't spell his name. It's a very traditional name which isn't hard to spell. We've given up telling her she is spelling it wrong!

Also...all of us will have misspelled someone's name at some point or other. Some of us will have misspelled a name consistently, unaware.

I have an unusual name which is misspelled. My son has a name with two spellings which people usually get wrong. My daughter's name has several spellings and people always get it wrong.

We just don't care. It's a petty and self-centred complaint. Brush it off.

@Bakersdozens it really isn't a nickname

You should have told her at the beginning, but why hasn’t your brother told her? Weird thing to start a thread about after all these years. Were you doing it like a name-guessing competition?

It really is! calling it a "diminutive" goes way beyond simply pedantic and into the realms of the obsolete by decades.

He's blessed that she is still sending him cards at that age. He's an adult, people spell names wrong all the time, my rellies are obviously useless, but some of them have spelt Isabelle wrong my DDs entire life, oh, and my name is spelled wrong by many others too, it's also long and European in structure.

A nickname is 'an informal, often humorous, name for a person that is connected with their real name, their personality or appearance, or with something they have done'

How is Joe, short for Joseph a nickname?

Well done on having a Joe and not a Macxymilyan or something.

TBH you should’ve corrected years ago but I’d let it go if it doesn’t bother him. He can deal with it.
For what it’s worth my Joe gets Jo from at least 50% of the family.

even by your own definition it is a nickname - it is connected with his real name

Shame you didn't correct her at the beginning. She may have then realised she was getting it wrong.

There are different pronunciations of my name. My grandad ALWAYS used the wrong one. I quite liked it from him although wouldn’t take it from anyone else.

I knew you’d understand!!

No, a nickname is something (often mildly humorous) to do with the way you look or to do with something you did that people found funny, or sometimes a mispronunciation that got used when you were little. Like when really tall people get called 'Titch' , or my friend whose family call her 'Tinks' which has nothing to do with her name, or being called 'Benny' because you wore a knitted hat like Benny off crossroads even though your name is Ian, or when your mates re-name you Bob, because you are a builder, even though our name is Alex. , etc etc.

Jo / Joe
Dave
Pam
Meg
Sam
Rob
etc etc are shortenings of names.

Jo can be male or female.

How come? Jo is short for Joanne or Josephine, not Joseph.

Doesn’t take an English teacher to see it can also be short for Joseph though. If you were trying to say Joe isn’t short for Joanne then that would work, but your argument failed unfortunately.

The time to do it was at the start until she used the right spelling. At this stage, why bother if you couldn't be bothered for 26 years?