Why can’t they spell my son’s name correctly

[Itstakeawaynight]

Our son is 26. The shortened version of his name, which is the only version we’ve ever used since the day he was born has three letters. The female version has two letters.

My sister in law, every single time, every birthday card, every present label is always spelt the female way, with two letters. It’s really pissed me off over the years, but she’s highly sensitive to criticism so I’ve never corrected her. She’s still just done it again on his birthday. Would I be unreasonable to say something.

Nah you've needlessly endured it for 26 years, it'd be kind of weird to do it now

My great aunt has always spelled my DDs name wrong. There are 2 common spellings of her name but she uses a completely different one!

We have a quick chuckle when we see the Xmas card spelt wrong but never correct her. We do always use the correct spelling of DDs name when sending her cards and it is on FB etc too.

Surely Joe can tell his aunt himself if he cares, which I very much doubt he does.

OP, you can save yourself the annoyance by not reading his birthday cards!

I have a Niamh.

Pray for me.

My name gets spelled wrong all the time, it doesn’t bother me one bit.

It’s a bit late to say something after 26 years. I get that it’s annoying - MIL always misses a letter out of DS name and adds a random extra letter to mine! DH has attempted to tell her but she just has it in her head that she’s right.
If your son is Joseph then I have a male relative who just uses Jo, so it wouldn’t have seemed wrong to me.

Best one was the year my dad rang to ask how to spell my sisters name 🤐(mum was away we were both 18+) I told him to go upstairs and look at her old bedroom door, as her name was all over it 😂

We have several Olivers amongst extended family and friends that either go by Olly, Oly, Ollie, Oli or Olli.

To be honest I can never remember which is which and often send cards and hope for the best. 😂😂😂

Assuming that it's not meant maliciously I think you have to smile and let it go.

I think he's quite lucky she's still buying him presents at 26!

Two family members deliberately and maliciously did this to three of our children over the years. It was the tip of the iceberg.
Just let it wash, rise above it and don't entertain.

unless she’s only recently joined the family then you’ve let it go for 26 years, you would be unreasonable to try to correct it now, the right time to do it was 26 years ago

'so I’ve never corrected her.'

🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

He’s 26 and you’ve never corrected her, and now you want to have a strop about it?? Can your son not talk?

I'm surprised you haven't done it before x

My daughter is Frances but two or three people always use Francis. I tend to ignore it, but always press a little harder when writing the ‘e’.

It has to be Joe.

Mine is much younger.... But do we share a SIL? She even got a football shirt with Jo on it. Every text I reply with JOE and she still doesn't get it.

Why haven't you corrected her in all these years? At 26 your son should be able to do it if it's bothering him.

My son has a double barreled first name. Won't answer to anything else, he'll correct anyone that tries to shorten it. The first person he corrected was his teacher when he was 6, she called him a few times and he didn't answer, he thought she was calling someone else with the same first part of his name. It was only when she went over to his desk that he realised she was calling him. Told her his name was xxxxx not xy. He's 20 and still corrects people.

My sister was named Joanne, to be known as Jo. She writes her name Joe. It pissed my mum off no end 😂

Dsis is 36 now. It’s her choice what she prefers to be called (on paper anyway. Jo/Joe sounds exactly the same when spoken) 🤷‍♀️

Did you give your kids names with yooneek spellings?

How does Dai feel about it OP?

26 years? That ship has not only sailed, it's circumnavigated the world and had a party in every port along the way.

Channel your inner Elsa and Let It Go.

Another post about someone who is sensitive yet can dish out crappy behaviour.

If they were sensitive they'd know if what they was doing was causing upset. Instead if sensitive accept she's a bully.

Doesn't matter if Jo can be either. It's not how his name is spelt.

I agree Op, I find it rude when people don't try to learn the correct spelling of someone's name and use it. This is something I always make an effort to do.

but she’s highly sensitive to criticism so I’ve never corrected her.

Well there you are then.
She has presumably written Jo instead of Joe at least 52 times (assuming she included him on a Christmas card as well as birthday) and not once have you said "Oh, we prefer to spell it Joe".
So YABU to be cross about it now.
He's 26 - if it bothers him he can tell her, but can you explain why you didn't just tell her in the first place if it bothered you ?