AIBU

[Tgi234]

AIBU

married my husband 9 years ago, family business so was asked to sign a 10 year prenup( less than a month before) did this no issue. For reference we had been together for 7 year prior to getting married and had a child together, Fast forward to now brother is getting married and new fiancé, they have been together 2 years, she is told doesn’t need to sign one. AIBU or is this a bit of a low blow ? Feeling deflated 😌

I think more context is needed here. Who is calling the shots on the prenup? Maybe it’s no reflection on you and your relationship if your BIL is more of a romatic fool? Or is this an in-law thing?

It's fine. Maybe they realised it was a bit overkill? Or you married the brother they thought had poor judgement in partners.

Do you mean your brother is getting married, or your brother-in-law OP?

YABU for starting a thread with the title AIBU. Surely you can see that most people use a title that gives at least a hint of what it is about

Thanks for your reply, it’s a in-law thing, they like her don’t like me hence then reasoning behind it, they like her and don’t like me and they don’t want to ruin their relationship with her by asking her to sign it, Just feel like if I had to sign it why doesn’t she ?

Sorry BIL is now getting married ( other partner in the business )

Sorry first post

I guess 9 years has passed now so they changed their mind. Only 1 year and you can leave with the money if you want

Yes I get this, but surely it should be fair across the board ? For reference we had been together since I was 16 was 23 when married ! Feel like I’ve done my bit of making sure the buisness continues to thrive and now she can come in and take half of it if doesn’t work.

Yes I suppose. Although my now 3 children would inherit their dads share so I wouldn’t do that.

Just make sure when the 10 years are up you're not expected to sign another one..

Perhaps they thought you were both too young?
Perhaps you’ve been the example, it’s going well so they haven’t enforced the pre nup.

Yes I will. That will be me gone if so.

Can you talk to the in-laws about this? Maybe they feel a bit churlish about it all now you’ve been the model wife and given them 3 grandchildren? By the laws of Sod, you can almost predict the universe will conspire to make this DIL run off with half their business though…

Yes I also get this, but they haven’t been together long, last BIL GF they loved her, she up at left after him 5 years together. Just feel like why shouldn’t it be the same rule for both.

Are you in the UK? If so, a prenup is barely worth the paper it is written on. I wouldn't worry about it.

Thankyou for your reply, They are a odd bunch, family business but you can’t actually discuss anything with them! 🤪 Imagine MIL controls the ship and everyone agrees kinda thing. They only have my 3 grandchildren but they don’t have much to do with them tbh. Feels like another kick in the teeth. But maybe I am being unreasonable

Yes in the uk, I know they arnt worth to much but the principle is there I married DH because I loved him and signed it because they have built a successful buisness and I admire what they give up to achieve it, I WFH look after the 3 children dot the house etc, he work long hours 8-7 and goes again when kids have gone to bed, fully supported him if he needs a hand and the whole way through our marrriage he has told me the same will apply for who his brother marries but now it’s come about and all of a sudden it doesn’t apply.

YANBU to be miffed op. Families and family businesses are always an emotional 3d chess game ime.

Thankyou appreciate your reply. I’ve tried to hold my tounge but really upset me.

Maybe it's because of your ages? I'd be more hesitant if my dc married someone they met at 16 than if they'd met in their 30s.

What does your husband say about it?

I disagree surely someone is less likely a gold digger at 16 that 30 ? We were together 7 years before we married had a child I have always worked.

He says he has asked them to do one the same as I had but they have said no. I think he is a bit miffed but doesn’t want to rock the boat. He is very chilled almost horizontal sometimes one of his downfalls and people take the P

Not a gold digger, just that young relationships don't often last. DH and I met in our teens too, but I know we are in the minority for successful relationships starting that young. Even though we made it, now we have teens of our own, I would be really hesitant if they wanted to marry their current bf/gf even in a few years.