AIBU

[Tgi234]

AIBU

married my husband 9 years ago, family business so was asked to sign a 10 year prenup( less than a month before) did this no issue. For reference we had been together for 7 year prior to getting married and had a child together, Fast forward to now brother is getting married and new fiancé, they have been together 2 years, she is told doesn’t need to sign one. AIBU or is this a bit of a low blow ? Feeling deflated 😌

What is your desired outcome? I see a couple of options.

1. Let it go.
2. Cause a fuss.
3. Get yours nullified (I assume this would be something that you could do with your husband).

There are probably other options, but they strike me as the most obvious ones.

Yes I see your point, I just expected the same but perhaps times have changed.

They knew you die seven years before you got married and had their reasons to doubt you so asked doe you to sign a pre nip.

They like your brothers wife so don't have the same concerns.

It's not hard to understand.

The desired outcome would be she had the same thing I did because that is in my opinion is fair. If they don’t work and BIL has to pay her half his share he would have to sell his share to pay her out, which without disclosing what sort of buisness it is would destroy it.

I know how it would piss you off but as long as his half of the buisness is protected it shouldn't matter.

Let's hope your ILs are a good judge of character and new SIL loves your BIL as much as you love your DH.

Yes basically although I’m still here 16 years later. They loved BIL last GF untill she left. My point is anyone can up and leave whether they like your in laws or not. She isn’t marrying the in laws is she.

Prenups hold weight in the UK and have done since the Radmacher case in 2010. Rulings since then have served to strengthen them.

Yes that’s my concern I don’t get involved in the ins and outs as it’s not my business but I am unsure how protected it is, for reference DH’s will is still left to his parents and brother atm ( his mum wrote this up with him) which he said he would change but it’s been 4 years since our daughter has been born and nothing has changed his mum is suppose to be this for him but I hold him as responsible as her.

I'm surprised that your ILs are ignoring your DH's wishes as he seems to do an awful lot of hours for the buisness, so they could show their appreciation in return.
If the new SIL is in for the long haul, and your BIL isn’t the violent type she shouldn't mind signing

How likely do you think this is?

That would be my priority, getting the will changed.
He can do that and his DM need know nothing about it.

She sounds a bit controlling.

What's his parents part in the business, if he ever sold out would they still manage.

This is my point if she is there for the long haul surely she won’t be miffed she has to sign it ? Yes he does a lot of hours !! In return I sort everything else in terms of family life goes work full time ! This is to ensure his buisness thrives and he feels supported ! But having voiced my concerns he says IABU

FML! I couldn't sleep at night knowing my children and I had no protection, especially where the in-laws aren't keen.

Get him to change it right now. Is his mother a lawyer or something?

He really needs to see an actual lawyer for this if there are family business shares involved. It's pretty complex.

The BIL pre-nup thing is the least of your problems.

yes she is hence doesn’t like me as we have children that’s when she got the hump but this was prior to getting married. They haven’t got children so seems to still get on with new SIL. My husband and his brother have 40/40 share parents have 5/5 so yes if he sold it wouldn’t survive. For reference he wouldn’t he loves his job.

If the business has grown I imagine they’re taken financial advice. Prenups are but one way to protect business interests, and it may be that since you married they have installed other protections they consider preferable to a prenup.

i was trying to keep the post simple but there are lots of factors unfortunately ! She rules the roost and they comply. Which is why it surprises me she hasn’t considered doing a prenup for the new SIL

yes they have a finance advisor but as far as I know they haven’t anything else in place. What other things can they put in place? As I can ask DH to look into it possible ?

I get it, I really do but seriously,

your DH changing his will must be a priority. Imagine the worst (sorry) - where would you be left financially?

Hang on, did he do his will before you were married?

Trusts, for one. It’s a complex field, but this is worth a read: https://www.paperturn-view.com/uk/boodle-hatfield/a-legacy-intact-safeguarding-your-family-business-in-the-event-of-divorce?pid=MjY261228&v=2.4

No he did his will after we had our 2nd child, all 4 partners have left it to each other if that makes sense ? But my DH has children, BIL doesn’t. I have said given the situation with the difficult MIL perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea to change it, I wouldn’t trust BIL to pass on my DH Share to my children. DH has said he wants to change it but feels he needs to do it with MIL, and quoted “ rome wasn’t built int a day” For reference DH parents are in their 70’s/80’s.

Thankyou I’ll make sure I read it.

I think I might just ask them myself what has changed in 9 years and why she doesn't have to sign a pre nup.

No. I disagree. A gold digger is a gold digger, in fact if treated badly may even turn into one. Married first time for love, second for money. It goes both ways too.

Relationships when you are young tend to fail? We are all living longer, we change, simply fall out of love.

Don’t renew your ten year pre nup op. It’s done now, try not to let it consume you. You both seem happy in your marriage, your DH has tried to have the conversation, it was shot down in flames but at least he tried.
Families can be a total shit show, let it go. Life is too short.

But I do see why you are hurt.

Raise it with them when bil is also there

file for divorce the day after the 10 years is up 🤣

I would do this but I know

1. It will stress DH out as he hates confrontation
2. No matter the outcome it will be my fault.