AIBU

[Tgi234]

AIBU

married my husband 9 years ago, family business so was asked to sign a 10 year prenup( less than a month before) did this no issue. For reference we had been together for 7 year prior to getting married and had a child together, Fast forward to now brother is getting married and new fiancé, they have been together 2 years, she is told doesn’t need to sign one. AIBU or is this a bit of a low blow ? Feeling deflated 😌

Then I'm afraid your only remaining option is to vent here while amongst friends.

Haha love the edit. We have been together a long time but things like this don’t help a marriage do they ? Surely they must think I would be a bit miffed ? Which in turn would cause a bit of friction between us ? Or maybe that is the idea 🫠

Haha thanks I do actually feel a bit better about it, also must note with DH’s will the death tax is paid out of our house we own together nothing to do with the buisness. So if something was to happens I would have no home and let’s face it no buisness to hand to my children 😶

I would be tempted to revisit this with your husband at some point. It doesn't have to be now though. I would expect a business that is as you describe should have key person insurance to cover death taxes and the like.

Is it just the business shares that are left to family? Are the rest of his assets left to you? Does he have any other assets? (please don't tell me this is a farm!!).

Sorry if you think I'm prying.

They seem to be keeping you uninformed as to the finer details of the business, and based on what you’ve said so far I strongly suspect there’s things you, and perhaps also
your husband, are unaware of.

They know the prenup you signed is about to run out, they’re not asking the relatively new partner to sign one, and they’ve shut attempts at conversation down quickly with little explanation provided. I would put money on there being other measures they’ve quietly put in place.

Do you mean how likely is there marriage going to work ? Well obviously I don’t know that but if you factor in them having children in the job they do is hard going on both them and their families. Not around much, no off days work around the clock. I just want to ensure all the things I and my children have given up for my husband to be able to his job that my children get to see something out of it. Not overly bothered about me as I am happy working and can financially support myself. ( no I don’t earn hundreds of thousands but enough to get by)

I think this is a good opportunity for the business owners to revisit this. DH will needs looking at. Thats unfair. If new SIL divorces after a year or so, what effect will that have on the business etc. protect you and the kids op

No we don’t have any other assets than the house we own together. Anything that is named as the buisness he has is left to the 3 family members. Anything that doesn’t have the buisness name on is left to the children (which when I looked at the will says minus death tax so presumably that is what it means ?) not sure who insurance money is left to.

Yes it is

yes I mean I have been trying to get him
to change it ! But ultimately it’s not my will is it ? So short of frog marching him there myself what else can I do ? I’ve asked and said to him god forbid somthing happens do you not want to ensure your children are looked after ?

I can only reiterate that he needs to change the will sooner rather than later.

Wishing you well 🙂

Thanks I hope so, but as they get older I’m not sure they are as clued up as they could be. Also if they had something is place as DH is one of 2 main partners I would of thought he would know? But as he has asked them to put one in place I don’t think there is.

Thanks will ask again 🫣

Is she a farmers daughter with land?

And you were not?

Welcome to my world, 25 years on and I just ignore the lot of them. But if I could choose who I fell in love with, that may have been. Different outcome

Yes and yes. Not breed right apprently 😂

Ah just reading back now and I could have written the lot.

Where do you want me to start.

I won't because it is your thread, but if you want some support happy to chat.

DH family Tennant farmers, worked his arse off. I am same as you. Youngest brother done same and treated same as you describe. Eye on the land.

It's not a gold digger thing but more likely that marrying someone you met at 16 is statistically more likely to fail.

But yes it must grate and be obvious they like her over you. That's fine she can be the DIL providing care when they need it too

If they’ve taken financial advice they would have been informed and, well, advised.

I don’t know the business or how it’s set up, or the relationship dynamic between your husband and parents, but possibly, and possibly not. All documentation should be accessible to him as a stakeholder, so if there’s any confusion then he should be requesting that rather than just taking their word for it.

Phew glad I’m not alone ! Give up and lot not it’s not a sob story but kids don’t see their dad a lot and I carry the load 99% of the time, don’t want to see him or my children left with nothing ! Thanks I would appreciate that.

I get that. Never see him.

Will message you tomorrow, one awake, and on my own

Yes I’ve said this aswell I’m glad they like her that is great for them, but the buisness is worth protecting surely ? They have all sacrificed a lot to make it a success. If she likes them and is likely to stick around surely she would be happy to sign it ? DH said he thinks PIL think it was the nail in the coffin between me and them so doesn't want the same thing to happen! For reference it has nothing to do with that why we don’t prehaps see eye to eye but I keep myself to myself and smile as per my husbands wishes.

Thanks I will ask the Q prehaps in a few days.

Maybe she brings more to the table than he does if she already has a share in another farm. Perhaps she would want him to sign one too so he can't get his hands on her land/cash!!

Maybe BIL saw how your DH let you be treated and decided he didn’t want his partner to have the same?

You seem to resent that you needed to sign and want the same treatment for sil?

I think you need to focus on DH will as that’s more within your control.
, surely he can change it without informing anyone.