AIBU

[Tgi234]

AIBU

married my husband 9 years ago, family business so was asked to sign a 10 year prenup( less than a month before) did this no issue. For reference we had been together for 7 year prior to getting married and had a child together, Fast forward to now brother is getting married and new fiancé, they have been together 2 years, she is told doesn’t need to sign one. AIBU or is this a bit of a low blow ? Feeling deflated 😌

So she doesn’t bring more to the table small farm house few acres. Would she not what to protect herself aswell ?

I don't think the will is particularly wrong. If he dies, you get his personal assets and the business goes back to the family. There's no way you should inherit his share - it's his family's business, not yours. If you think you have a claim on the business, I can see why they have asked for the prenup to stop you.

I can also kind of see why your kids wouldn't automatically inherit the business although that's a bit more contentious. Hopefully they won't but they could just sell the shares or turn out to be criminals or not business savvy or whatever. That would also fold the business through no fault of the BIL. It's complex but I'm not sure he's done much wrong here.

The prenup was between you and your DH, he wanted one and you agreed. This and the will could have been changed any time if DH wanted to.

No, I meant how likely do you think it is that you'll get your desired outcome. It sounds now like you don't think it likely at all.

It probably hasn't occurred to her because it's not normal really is it? She may have thought about it if they had presented her with one. Does she even know you were made to sign one? If not then it just won't occur to someone to think about it.

thanks for your reply, I don’t resent having to sign it, it served its purpose I’m still here and nearly at the end of it with no immediate plans to leave ! Just felt a bit miffed that I’ve been treated one way and just because they have a better relationship with her she doesn’t have to sign one ? As posted previously they got along with previous BIL Gf untill she upped and left. So they have a track record of liking his partners, DH has only ever had me so maybe if he had introduced them to someone else prior they wouldn’t think I am that bad 😂. New SIL includes PIL in her own family events aswell ( Christmas, eaters etc) so maybe they don’t want to upset the relationship they have with them aswel. I just get the feeling with me they made mistakes along they way in which they treated me and this is why our relationship is a bit rough and now she gets all the Corected behavior ! So maybe IABU

Yes maybe, unsure if she knows about it. Although eveyone else knows so I’m sure she would have a fair idea.

oh sorry no I think that’s that and Ill just have to suck it ! Good to get it of my chest though 😁 thanks

How does she take half of his assets if they divorce? If she has her own assets and no kids, she shouldn't get anything from him. The same would apply for you. If you get divorced, he would have to pay you maintenance assuming you end up doing most of the childcare but I can't see how or why you'd have any claim on his business.

I think it's an age thing too. I don't know a single person who married young at 23 so I would be a bit 🤔 and at that stage wanted to protect their business assets.

You saying that you were together for 7 years, but to me counting from 16 wouldn't be taken seriously. What do you even know about a proper relationship at 16? Maybe that's what they thought?

His share of the business would be an asset that would go into the pit when calculating what each would get, the same as his share in any property, pension or savings.

Family being the operative word he has 3 children that’s are his family ! Sorry might have missed the point ? Goes back to his parents who are nearing the latter end of their life ?

The assets are not hers they are her parents. She has no assets as far as I am aware. As per my previous comments I’m not trying to claim anything I asked AIBU to be a bit miffed that I had a prenup and she doesn’t

Yes I get that, but I was 23 when we married so it was at that point I was given the prenup. Child together happy ( still are I think ) always had a job infact earnt more than him for a fair few years so he could put more money back into the buisness, no reason to ever suggest I was with him for any other reason !

As said, maybe BIL didn’t want her to sign one but your DH didn’t mind.

I think you need to place your efforts on the will. Does DH have good life insurance so you wouldn’t be left high and dry?

It would be considered but it is very rare that a spouse would be forced to sell a business as part of a divorce, particularly as it was already established before she was on the scene. (If the business was established during their marriage she would have a greater claim as she could attempt to claim she contributed to it's success). The business is nothing to do with her and as she has rightly said herself, she doesn't want it. She's perfectly capable of earning her own money, she shouldn't need or want to sponge off her husband. She would need to ensure that she claims the money she is entitled to support her children but anything above that is just greed and immoral in modern day.

They possibly realised it was ridiculous and/or unnecessary as a result of being told so after they told people you’d had to sign one. I’d say not for any reason to do with you

I think it's probably more that times are changing rather than it being a reflection on you. It used to be that 'housewives' relied on their husbands for everything so courts sided with them and split assets. In modern day, there is much greater equality, both partners within a couple can earn money and carve out their own career so the balance is more even and there's no chance of a wife having the level of claim these days as they would have in the past. If either you or your BIL got divorced you'd have minimal claim on the business. A prenup is pretty pointless.

I think you're thinking too deeply about it. Let it go, you can't change it so forget about it.

Has your husband made any provisions for you at all if something happened to him like a life insurance or something?

Do you also own the house that you live in as in your name on the Deeds?

You mentioned that you work full time do you have savings of your own?

I think this is more of a husband problem than a in-law problem is he is too afraid of them to stand up for his wife and children.

What would happen if he suddenly died from a heart attack?

He has life Insurance but I don’t know who that is left to if I’m being honest, it’s never been about the money so I don’t get involved with it! They did their wills/life insurance together, and I have my own seperate ones!

No my name isn’t on the deeds of the house ( touchy subject ) ! MIL owed the house previously and said would only sell to DH !

I WFT so I have a bit of savings, but yes he doesn’t like rocking the boat with anything so usually just gets on with it.

Also been on the receiving end of a family member having a heart attack maybe that’s why I worry about having measures in place to protect our children.

Yes agree maybe he doesn’t want to 😕

His parents were together young, married young still together 50+ years later. I understand not everyone gets married young but we were together 7 years prior so wasn’t a quick thing. For us and them it’s worked.

Hang on…I don’t think spouses need to pay inheritance tax. Your home is a joint asset - whether he has paid for it or not.

also if he passes his share of the business to you, the. You get that share. Has he left it to anyone else?

No buissness share is left to PIL & BIL