Husband embarrassed when I felt unwell

[OneBrightCrow]

My husband and I were at the wedding of one of his uni friends on Wednesday. It was a great day however I came over unwell during the speeches, probably due to not having enough to eat before a couple of Proseccos. I was not drunk at all, but came over pale, felt clammy and like I was going to collapse. I didn’t want to cause a fuss by getting up and leaving, but felt so awful that I put my head down on the table. I understand that this could have looked rude but I’m pretty sure the other tables did not notice, and everyone on our table could see that something wasn’t right.

Despite asking my husband to just leave me be for a few minutes, he persisted in trying to get me to leave the room, but his persistence was really not helping, and I tried explaining that if I stood up I was afraid I would collapse or be sick, and I absolutely did not want that to happen.

He wouldn’t let it go so eventually I managed to stand up and sat outside for a bit until I felt better; but I wasn’t quite right for the rest of the day. I chose not to drink any more, but even after multiple glasses of water I was struggling with the noisy room and drunk people getting a bit close for comfort. We found a quiet room with a sofa where I sat for a while, and he asked if I wanted to leave. I said no but we argued when I tried encouraging him to rejoin the party so that he could see his uni friends that he rarely gets to see, including his best friend who had come just for the evening reception; but he kept saying we should be there as a couple.

He got a bit arsey, questioning how I was feeling and saying that he has never known me to “do this” as though I was choosing to behave this way. I said I felt very pressured by him, and was hurt that he had been more concerned about how I was appearing to other people than whether I was OK!

He eventually stormed off and returned about half an hour where we argued again, so I just grit my teeth and rejoined the party even though I still felt unwell.

It’s left me feeling quite hurt about it, and even when I tried talking to him about it (thinking that now he’s sober he would be a bit apologetic) he maintains that putting my head on the table was rude and we would have to agree to disagree.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling hurt??

Putting your head on the table is so much worse than leaving.

Tbf, I think that is a little strange because I really love and value my husbands good opinion, so if I did something to upset him I'd mind.

However, I do think this is way out of proportion. Someone was ill at my wedding so I put her in my bed. No probs

I didn’t mention that as I don’t think it had any relevance to his behaviour earlier in the evening.

he wasn’t particularly sheepish no! I guess he didn’t consider it embarrassing as it was just us And his best friend in the taxi.

Thanks to some for your compassion and validation of my feelings, and to others for helping me see a balanced view of this - although I think some people have dramatised the event or think I’ve been dishonest (which I really haven’t, I’ve tried to be as accurate as possible) I do appreciate that perhaps he was concerned that people would think I was drunk.

And potentially fainting and causing a scene and also probably injuring yourself? Don't be soft

I agree that it was rude of you to sit with your head on the table. I would have thought that you were attention seeking.

Yeah I would be so embarrassed if I were him. It all sounds a bit dramatic.

It's a bit odd, but it's not really rude, is it?

This has tickled me

I think you're confusing me with another poster. I've made literally one post, saying that it's entirely possible OP was genuinely sick, but the likeliest explanation is that she'd just had a bit too much to drink. I certainly didn't say she was paralytic, nor am I "determined" to prove she was. I also said both sides are overreacting and this really isn't a big deal.

Not if she thought she was would faint if she stood up, that would have caused a lot more of a scene

Well if he brings it up again point out that he's a taxi driver's worst nightmare. Throwing up on his own shoes indeed

My dad was a taxi driver and hated passengers like your DH, throwing up at the side of the road or not.

Cringe.

Don't be daft.

I understand feeling momentarily embarrassed, but that feeling should have been immediately overridden by concern, as you say you'd only had one glass, and then he proceeded to get vomiting drunk! If he has a history of getting that drunk, perhaps his anger is projection and a reflection of his own embarrassment. But he's definitely a dick, and I'd give him a taste of his own medicine next time he's sick to see how he likes it! I hope this is a blip and he's normally a supportive type.

I would have been embarrassed. Adults should be able to control their drinking in an appropriate way.

Big difference between being anemic and being drunk tho!

@OneBrightCrow we had a neighbour like this in a small cul de sac. His wife eventually had carers four times a day because he'd run out of neighbours good will.

He then decided to holiday in Tenerife, god knows how he got her there. She was so ill was admitted to hospital immediately. He had a lovely holiday and picked her up on his way home.

Take care of yourself and your family. Step back and let the system step in.

I felt exactly the same at a relatives wedding and I don't drink . We had waited around for so long, then the speeches ran over and the food was over 90 mins later than expected.
Mid way through the speeches I left the room and sat on the foyer of the hotel. I asked for some water and they also offered me a cookie they were famous for i felt much better after . I assumed that my blood sugars had dropped but I really felt crap!

I would have whispered to my OH « just headed to the loo- not feeling 100%, but I’ll be fine » and gone and chilled for a bit.

But the op wasn't drunk

this

I have been so unwell suddenly that putting my head on the table or even laying down on the floor is all I could do. You did the right thing. Better than standing up and getting a concussion when you faint. If you have never been in that situation yourself I can see why they think it’s rude. If I saw someone doing this I would leave them to it, offer water and say I’m here if you need anything

The OP was unwell. But because she's said she had some alcohol ( at a wedding Good Heavens!) and has some medical issues, there are a few concluding that the DH being unkind to her is entirely justified.

If your partner was unwell, drunk or otherwise, surely the most practical and least embarrassing thing is not to berate them for being unwell, but to just concentrate on getting them to a recovery place without fuss or reprimand?

And it turns out he himself was soon as drunk as a lord anyway... so all the sympathy for the poor dear's blushes of embarrassment are wasted.

Tricky one, sounds like you needed a lie down otherwise you might’ve fainted.
i get that if I have a sugar crash. I guess you learnt something about yourself..?

She'd only had two glasses of prosecco! Hardly not being in control of drinking!

Lots of bizarre responses on this thread. Nowt as queer as folk as they say and MN never fails to deliver on the weird attitudes.

Fainting! Concussion! The drama of it all.

Op had half a glass too much and felt a bit shit for a bit.

She should have left the room, asking her husband to help her out if she really felt it necessary.