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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Turning the wifi off

148 replies

No1toldmeaboutit · 04/04/2024 10:01

We have implemented a new rule in the house where the wifi goes off at 12.30am to 6am and what back lash I have had from my 14 and 12 year old children.

We usually go to bed about 11pm and they are usually still up while they are off school which I don’t mind, however, there has been a few days where they have woken us up through the night at god knows what time when we have to be up for work in the morning. It’s not so much them talking that wakes us up (although that does sometimes) it’s hearing them move about the house because they are still awake, opening and closing doors, flushing toilets, turning lights on, going downstairs etc.

my 14 year old has kicked off about this and is begging for it to be left on telling me all their friend are allowed all night.

AIBU to implement this new rule? I think 12.30am is a late enough WIFI curfew for a 12 and 14 year old whilst they are off school and actually quite generous.

does anyone else have a wifi curfew?

OP posts:
HappiestSleeping · 04/04/2024 10:03

My friend had his son's room on a completely isolate ring so that he could turn the sockets off completely. Admittedly, this was a punishment, but turning the wifi off overnight is quite reasonable.

ns87 · 04/04/2024 10:04

Sounds fine to me

CeciliaMars · 04/04/2024 10:06

YABU to think that 12.30am is OK! I would say more like 10 or 11pm! They need their sleep, and could read a book if they're still awake. This generation are growing up absolutely addicted to computers and gaming.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 04/04/2024 10:08

More than ok I would think 11pm to 7am is more than fair. What you are doing is called good parenting and oh well if they are upset

lemonjam · 04/04/2024 10:09

My 12 year old is allowed til 11pm on Saturdays, and sometimes during the holidays. I wouldn’t let her stay up past midnight!

PoppingTomorrow · 04/04/2024 10:09

I also think 12.30 is way too late for that age as a regular bedtime/WiFi curfew.

Teenagers' literally lack the capacity for self-regulation that adults have.

Presumably they are back to school in a week or less so they need to gett back to a reasonable bedtime

Also, 'everyone else is a allowed' is a protest as old as time!

But maybe I'm old-fashioned, I'm not a parent to teenagers.

Original poster
No1toldmeaboutit · 04/04/2024 10:10

I actually agree and think that it’s quite late and probably should be earlier!

OP posts:
PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 04/04/2024 10:10

And personally for me I’d say everytime they kick off or get upset the time will be bought forward 5 mins

GasPanic · 04/04/2024 10:10

How the hell are they supposed to be alert for learning in school if they are on the wi fi all night ?

Maybe allow it a bit later on holidays or maybe weekends, but i can't understand how anyone would think giving them access to it all night is good parenting.

Mrsjayy · 04/04/2024 10:10

I think having the WiFi off overnight Is perfectly reasonable I don't think 14 year olds can regulate themselves sometimes and we need to step in. They need to sleep being online all night isn't healthy you are doing the right thing.

The only problems I had when my kids were 14 was they didn't turn their TV on during the night it must be stressful having teenagers constantly plugged into their phones

NCForQuestions · 04/04/2024 10:12

Christ, I'd make it at least 2100-1700 daily in the face of objections.

Get them off devices, get them sleeping a proper routine, get them out the house in the holidays!

When they are back at school, I'd keep a similar schedule unless they are definitely working on homework.

I'd definitely be putting a stop to them being up and about in the night - that's not normal. Are there any medical issues or are they just up all night on chats and watching videos?

Do you check their devices? Are they locked down to prevent contact with dodgy adults?

2chocolateoranges · 04/04/2024 10:12

We used to turn our Wi-Fi off at midnight, this was until our children were 15/16. It was just easier having a quiet house rather than trying to sleep with them chatting to their friends or shouting at games they were playing.

Spudthespanner · 04/04/2024 10:13

Jesus it should be much earlier. You're dealing with addicts now. I'd switch it off at 9 and they can read books until they go to sleep.

They need a hard reset.

Mrsjayy · 04/04/2024 10:15

I was speaking to my friend her grandkids are teenagers and their mum was having the same issues I think they are on tik tik and whatever messanger services they use and its probably FOMO i mean something exciting might happen at 2 am.

ABirdsEyeView · 04/04/2024 10:18

I wouldn't - the engineer from Sky told me it slows down the wifi speed - the system registers it as a fault and slows down speed so as not to overload it while establishing what the issue is.

Original poster
No1toldmeaboutit · 04/04/2024 10:20

The 12.30am is while they are off school. They have to be off everything at 10pm on a school night.

OP posts:
Winnipeggy · 04/04/2024 10:21

Why 12.30? I'd be turning it off much much earlier. Who pays the bill? Please don't let your 14 year old dictate to you.

Mrsjayy · 04/04/2024 10:24

Could you take devices off them instead although I appreciate they probably have consoles as well as phones but if they are giving you lip I'd take their stuff off them.

MaryisMe · 04/04/2024 10:25

My 17 year old is currently doing this as I no longer turn his phone off... it is affecting his sleep and time he's getting up the next day - not ideal. Until my kids turn 16 (after GCSEs) I had complete control over their phones, so they were always off by 11pm during the holidays. He is very good with putting pjone away during term time, but definitely pushing it during holidays.

My 13 year old's phone is still heavily controlled by me and goes off at 10 / 11 during holidays ready for getting ready for bed. It is also always kept in my room overnight.

JosieJones1987 · 04/04/2024 10:26

YABU. The issue isn't the WiFi. Get some earplugs? If they're awake they'll still be going to the toilet whether they've got WiFi on or not

NCForQuestions · 04/04/2024 10:29

JosieJones1987 · 04/04/2024 10:26

YABU. The issue isn't the WiFi. Get some earplugs? If they're awake they'll still be going to the toilet whether they've got WiFi on or not

Bollocks. Kids that age need a LOT of sleep. Disturbed sleep is a sign of wider issues - and likely caused by way too much screen time / exposure to bloodw light keeping them awake.

JosieJones1987 · 04/04/2024 10:31

@NCForQuestions it's the school holidays. They want to stay up later. OP has said the issue isn't the fact they're on their phones but the fact that they wake them up flushing the toilet etc.

Alaina7 · 04/04/2024 10:34

For every complaint, it would go off 30 mins earlier and on 30 mins later. They’d soon stop. 😉

soberfabulous · 04/04/2024 10:35

YANBU and I would also be turning it off earlier!

I also feel their bedtimes are really late never mind the WiFi, but I'm a bit Amish in my approach to that 🤪 my 10 year old has an 8 pm bedtime (we start teeth brushing and book reading at 730) and no phone or device yet.

Spudthespanner · 04/04/2024 10:36

JosieJones1987 · 04/04/2024 10:26

YABU. The issue isn't the WiFi. Get some earplugs? If they're awake they'll still be going to the toilet whether they've got WiFi on or not

A 12 and 14 year old should not have free rein on the internet til after midnight, school holidays or otherwise.

It's shocking that people think this is perfectly fine. No wonder children are addicted to tech.

The children's reactions tells you all you need to know.

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