Turning the wifi off

[No1toldmeaboutit]

We have implemented a new rule in the house where the wifi goes off at 12.30am to 6am and what back lash I have had from my 14 and 12 year old children.

We usually go to bed about 11pm and they are usually still up while they are off school which I don’t mind, however, there has been a few days where they have woken us up through the night at god knows what time when we have to be up for work in the morning. It’s not so much them talking that wakes us up (although that does sometimes) it’s hearing them move about the house because they are still awake, opening and closing doors, flushing toilets, turning lights on, going downstairs etc.

my 14 year old has kicked off about this and is begging for it to be left on telling me all their friend are allowed all night.

AIBU to implement this new rule? I think 12.30am is a late enough WIFI curfew for a 12 and 14 year old whilst they are off school and actually quite generous.

does anyone else have a wifi curfew?

12.30 is generous. For me it would be going off when I go to sleep, which is about 8. You're the boss, put your foot down.

DH has the Xbox set to kick DS off at 9.30 every night…he is 17 😂

I'm not strict at ALL but if they are regularly up gone midnight on a school night they are going to be knackered for school.

Same ages as my sons and I would be doing 11pm until 7am but then I am regularly told I am the meanest mum going so obviously I am doing something right 😂😂😂

There is absolutely no way this would fly for my almost 14 year old DS let alone anyone younger. During term time his bedtime is 9.30pm, 10pm on weekends and 11pm in the holidays. He gets up at 6am on school days. We have a screen time lock between the hours of 9pm and 8am on his phone and if he stays up on his Xbox later than he knows he should then I take the power cable for the entirety of the following day. So far, it seems to work pretty well and if he back chats or argues then I keep it for even longer. They are still very much growing and nowhere near adulthood enough to not be getting enough sleep imo. Don’t allow your children to hold you to emotional ransom when they are clearly taking the piss hugely and don’t pay any of the bills.

Sounds ridiculously late to me even for the holidays… but I don’t have teenagers…yet. I’d hope that mine aren’t up past midnight every night at 12 though!

Make it from 11.31

So who’s house is this and is there an adult living there? Your post has left me wondering……..?

12.30am is too late imo. It should be at least 11pm, if not earlier.
They are 12 & 14 and need their sleep, even during the holidays.
My ds is 17 and occasionally we’ll go along with him playing until 1am. At 12 or 14 he was going to bed around 10.30pm at the latest DURING the holidays - earlier during term time.
If they get used to stopping earlier, and have the opportunity to develop a good bedtime routine, you’ll put them in a positive position for the future.
Just because they want to play until the early hours does not mean that they should.

I have a 13 year old and even on weekends or holidays, 8pm his room goes off the wifi. His TV, phone and consoles, everything shuts off as we control all devices via our phones. He will usually shower and then read or draw for an hour then by 9:15 he is in bed flat out. He will also use this time to come and sit with us or watch a movie. Can’t access again until 12pm on weekends but has a limit of 4hrs so he has to choose when to game and use his time, shut off at 8pm, 7pm on school nights as he has homework and goes to the gym with his friends after school. No wonder kids of today are pale from lack of sun and can’t think or do anything for themselves.

we turn the Wi-Fi off at 10pm. Our daughter struggles to settle down to get into her bed at night too much faffing in front of the mirror. If the Internet was on she would be on it contacting friends and playing games and would never get to sleep. I agree with some of the comments earlier. This generation of far too reliant on Wi-Fi. It is impossible to get my daughter to read a book because everything is instantaneous and available online.. We also ask for her phone to be handed back at approx 8.30 most nights. we have found that the online bullying nonsense and anxiety because of friendship groups and other issues tend to happen later at night when all the kids are tired hence we turn the Wi-Fi off everybody in the house knows this and her phone is handed back, . Personally I think 12.30 is too late even during the holidays. Our daughter has even voiced that she’s glad that we have these rules as otherwise she doesn’t feel she could cope with all the drama on social media..

I feel your pain OP. I have DDs 13 & 16 and it’s an ongoing battle. Like you it’s 10pm on school nights & midnight during holidays - they have to hand over all their tech appliances. It’s a huge issue for these DC that have never known a tech free existence - I’ve attended a few online ITAA meetings and insisted that they do too. https://internetaddictsanonymous.org/ just to look at ways to manage their use of the internet and become more aware of how it can affect their lives detrimentally. It’s also helped me to understand my own relationship with tech & model better behaviour.

It would be off long before that in our house. 12 years old and up all night gaming.

I remember doing this a long time ago. Teenage son immediately knew how to bypass it. 🥹 His tech savvy was way beyond mine. Went on to get a good job in software geeky thing!

I do sympathise because devices these days and being online 24/7 a lot of kids are obsessed with. But what you need to consider is how can you be sure what they are doing or who they are talking to if you are asleep and unable to monitor what's going on. They are at a vulnerable age and there's likely to be more weirdos on the internet late at night. I think a lot of poor mental health in kids these days is to do with how much stuff they are exposed to way too soon and the lack of sleep, poor routine and no boundaries etc. I wouldn't be bothered about them moaning about the Wi-Fi either, you're the adult so be the boss.

Mine would be earlier and kids in rooms quietly after 11 if others are up for work the next day. 11pm off and 7 am start cos I’m just mean. Friends and Wi-Fi? Not your problem.

Why the freak are your children communicating with friends between 12:30-6am?

That is not right.

Just because they can do it with wi-fi - that is still not right.

Your children need to sleep for their own health and welfare.

When else to they have the opportunity to sleep?

You have bigger problems going on if your children need to be online during what is known as the "graveyard shift".

Just when are they sleeping every day???

Is it special media or are they into gaming. The gaming community is world wide and 9.00, 10.00 o clock here would be just about the start of the big gaming sessions around the different countries. My grand children ,older teens who are into it have some very late sessions to be in competitions in USA but not every night only for the comps and weekends are later for practice sessions.
It was much easier to keep a eye when we had one device in the living room when my kids were growing up. I don't envy today's parents trying to wade through all the social media stuff.

Seems like a good idea but doesn’t this play havoc with all the smart devices in your house? Alexa’s etc

OP, there are practical issues to consider here which go beyond “parental controls”.

Routers “do not like” being constantly being turned on and off for starters. They also take time to get up to full speed, it’s not like switching on a lamp. In addition most backups and updates are run overnight.

I know more people without smart devices in the home than I known people who have them.

Not everyone has the money and not everyone wants a listening device in the house.

Most thermostats are still fixed to walls or the heating/ hot water controlled from the boiler itself. Doorbells are mostly still basic ones, smart fridges are out of most people's financial reach....

We aren’t turning the router off by the wall, we have a satellite internet (starlink) which has an app which allows you to access downtime which you can set a timer on so not sure if will impact the internet or not.

after people responses I am going to set screen time for them from my phone, I actually didn’t know I could do this, heard people talk about it but didn’t know what it was 🙈

I like this Idea