Who's the problematic one here?

[Isitameproblem]

I'll start by saying I love my DH very much but he kind be unsupportive.
I have self image issues, I struggle with my size and weight (but mostly weight).
For most of my life I've been overweight apart from a couple of years (when I mety DH).
I can reduce in size, but it's very difficult for me to lose any weight. My DH has always been skinny and overall has never been that bothered.
For the past 10 weeks we've started a new regime, I do an average of 6 hours of cardio and around 3/4 of strength training per week. I eat OK, but overall I still eat the same amount/diet as before. I really haven't lost any weight, but you can tell I've toned up considerably (especially around my arms and you can see the middle line in my abs).
My weight has remained the same, apart from when I went away for a few days and I ate all sort sof street food and didn't exercise for about 10 days. Back to my weekly routine I gained what I lost! I came to the conclusion that exercise does make me retain water.
So I talked to my DH about it. His first answer is that it most me carbs (but remember my diet and weight have overall remained the same) and that he has never heard about retaining water due to exercise. Remember we've been together for six years, and have had a similar conversations with him, and he always tells me all different theories of why I'm not losing weight. I always end up annoyed as his words are never of support but mostly about what I'm most likely doing wrong.

All I needed was a "yeah that makes sense" or even a "don't worry about you've definitely shrunk, so it shouldn't matter" but no instead he always comes back with a counter argument or even disbelief if what I'm saying (as he's never heard about it before, but I've definitely mentioned many times over the years that I think that's a likely cause).

Sadly, I don't think I can actually talk to him about it, even though it does bother me.

He never calls me fat or anything, but as much I do think I probably look slim, I weight the same as before I had children and I was definitely chubby back then.

Simply, because I was the same weight and I think I now look better.

As about a million posters have already said - you're working out more and have more muscle which weighs more than fat so yes you weigh the same but you're slimmer. How many more times do you need to hear it?

Honestly if this thread is anything like your conversations with your husband all I can thinks is poor guy.

God, how tedious, your husband must have to put matches in his eyes to stay awake during these conversations.

As someone who one has said you need another metric ie body fat percentage as clearly that is what you are getting at that you are heavy due to muscle. If that's the case then body fat measurement will prove it and give you something to monitor since you seem to want a number

Alternatively why not just stop weighing altogether as it clearly upsets you and go off measurements or clothes fit instead.

If you and your DH are both so into fitness I find it odd you don't know your body fat % as most gyms will do that for you if you don't have the scales at home that measure it. I know those aren't 100% accurate but they are a decent guide if done at the same time of day and hydration status. If you really really want to know you can pay for those body pod things that are accurate.

If you're doing weightvteainingbthen ditch the scales as you'll be gaining muscle (heavy) and losing fat (space taking).

You're figure is better so the exetcise us doing its thing. The scales won't reflect this as you have more muscle.

Check out the inches not the kilos.

Why don’t you get some scales that show the muscle mass, water etc as it will show the fat % come down and muscle go up even if the total weight isn’t changing.

We have them, but stopped using the function as we thought it was very unreliable.

It has two modes average and muscular.

On average mode it tells me I'm around 33% fat, on the muscular mode it says something like 17/18% .

Please don't encourage someone suffering from an eating disorder to buy scales with more data to obsess over.

It's not that muscle is heavier than fat, it's that it's more dense and therefore takes up less volume.

If you put 1lb of fat and 1lb of muscle beside each other the 1lb of muscle would be visibly smaller.

If Jenny and Julie (made up people!) were the same height and weight, but Jenny had 30% body fat and Julie had 20% body fat, Julie would be visibly slimmer.