Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To not know how I’m going to get through the day

105 replies

moreminieggsplease · 04/04/2024 08:59

With my toddler. I was in tears by 8am. I really don’t know how to get through to bedtime without absolutely losing it.
every single thing he has done since he woke up has been to push a boundary and I get it, that’s what they do but it’s constant and I just can’t hack it today. If he’s not doing something he shouldn’t be doing, he’s having a huge fucking meltdown because he’s not doing it.
DH is at work all day, I don’t have any family or friends locally. None of the groups are on. It’s pissing it down. It’s always fucking pissing it down. Yes, we could go out in the rain and we do, otherwise we’d never leave the bloody house in the past 3 months but he currently only has one pair of shoes which are already wet (only started walking recently and has chunky feet so hard to find other shoes that fit). Won’t keep a pair of wellies on and he’s probably not ready to wear them yet if I’m honest. I’ll take him out in pushchair for a bit but he hates being in it too long now.

I just feel like I’m losing it today. And the realisation that it’s only 9am is basically awful. There are a lot of hours left in this day.

OP posts:

Rainyspringflowers · 04/04/2024 09:00

Massive hug, I’m having similar feelings for different reasons. How old is he? Toddlers are so tricky And yes the weather is terrible.

FloatyBoaty · 04/04/2024 09:02

If you can afford it- Soft play. Google your nearest soft play with a toddler area. Put him in it. You can’t “leave him to it” at that age, but at least a) you’re out of the house b) he’s testing boundaries in a space designed for it c) someone else can make you coffee and d) it’s dry.

honestly this is what they’re for. And if you feel up to it- try chatting with some other mums. You’ll feel miles better for some adult conversation.

berksandbeyond · 04/04/2024 09:02

Ahh it feels like such a long day when it’s like that doesn’t it?
some ideas of where you could go -
local library
IKEA
would the novelty of a bus journey or train journey be entertaining?
soft play? If you can throw a bit of money at it
any local museums?
if you’re in any local Facebook groups you can probably find some Easter holiday activities?

myavocadoisgrowing · 04/04/2024 09:03

I'll probably get flamed for this, but when I was in this situation I sat them in front of the tv and left him. (Not literally) give yourself a break.

What sort of thing does he want to do that you won't let him? Can you let him get on with it (as long as it's safe) if it doesn't involve wrecking the house?

Do you have a garden?

Rainyspringflowers · 04/04/2024 09:05

I can’t speak for op but mines never really sat in front of the tv for prolonged periods of time. I sort of wish he would!

SoupDragon · 04/04/2024 09:06

Some days just call for screen time!

Parenting is tough. Everyone has days like these when the only goal is to get through them.

GingerScallop · 04/04/2024 09:06

It's OK to put the TV on for him, make yourself a cuppa, leave him to it while you go to your room or kitchen to quietly have said cuppa and regroup. Keep breaking the day up. Each time you are overwhelmed give him an activity he can immerse himself in. Colouring, blocks, yes tv, and get off for a few breaths. Dance silly dances with him.
Am so sorry. Parenting was never meant to be a one or even 2 person job. It was a community job. Its so hard without that

Trickabrick · 04/04/2024 09:07

Ah OP toddlers are tough! Break the day into chunks, I’d start with a bath - he goes in it, you supervise with a cup of tea. Keep him in there as long as possible before the next chunk of time.

LeonoraFlorence · 04/04/2024 09:07

Soft play?

Floopani · 04/04/2024 09:07

myavocadoisgrowing · 04/04/2024 09:03

I'll probably get flamed for this, but when I was in this situation I sat them in front of the tv and left him. (Not literally) give yourself a break.

What sort of thing does he want to do that you won't let him? Can you let him get on with it (as long as it's safe) if it doesn't involve wrecking the house?

Do you have a garden?

Yes, this. It's kindest for both of you, you're not doing it every day. You can even watch a film together if that feels better, something really engaging.

I did this occasionally with my now 18 year old, as no family nearby and sometimes everything that could be done had been done and the weather was awful. Mine is off to uni in sept and seems to have not had any ill effects from our TV times! In fact, watching a film together is still one of our bonding times.

neverbeenskiing · 04/04/2024 09:09

Oh love, I remember this feeling so well. One of mine woke up for the day between 4.30 and 5.30 for every morning for about 18 months so I often felt exhausted by the time most people are just starting work. The days seemed endless sometimes. Mine also hated the pushchair. The toddler years are the absolute pits IMO, because they're still dependent on you for absolutely everything but also really strong willed and can't communicate their needs.
The good news is it does get easier! My youngest is 5 now and we have so much fun, he can entertain himself for periods of time and is a pleasure to take out and about.

Axx · 04/04/2024 09:10

Stick the telly on and take a breather. It honestly does get easier

AFmammaG · 04/04/2024 09:13

Another one screaming soft play. Or the library if money is tight. I knew the staff by name in there. DC could toddle around with no shoes on while I tried to keep them in the children’s area. Over Easter they might have some singing or Story-time sessions (usually free).

Do you have an indoor shopping centre? Another free place that is dry that you can let them walk without worrying too much. If you have a large one they may also have some Easter activities on for free.

AFmammaG · 04/04/2024 09:15

Someone upthread mentioned bath time, yes! Get some cheap shaving foam and get him cleaning it for you while he’s in it 😂

pickledandpuzzled · 04/04/2024 09:16

I second Ikea if you can get there.
Also whatever gets you through- don’t be afraid of using the tv and carefully offered food breaks!

Structure the day- a snack at the table/high chair every hour. A sit in front of the tv. A game of emptying the cupboards and playing with the pans etc.

Go out if you can.

Restructure the house so you don’t have to say no as often! Doorknobs, sofa against cupboards so he can’t open them, cupboards deliberately left accessible which have safe things in them.

Go upstairs and let him empty and refill the sock drawer. Take the opportunity to tidy it as you go!

Longer term, look up sensory play or toddler play and prepare some kits ready for the next bad day. Pans and wooden spoon for banging. A drawstring bag With random interesting things in- toy car, stickle brick, cotton reel etc.

Solidarity- it’s genuinely tough!

User79853257976 · 04/04/2024 09:18

Soft play, drive through coffee and cake in the car, it’ll be dinner time before you know it. It can be tough but you’ve got this. Also if you run out of things to do, give him a long play in the bath.

peanutbuttertoasty · 04/04/2024 09:20

I feel you OP. I’ve had no childcare this week and the days are dragging!
Does he have trucks and diggers and things? yesterday I put porridge oats on the floor and let him knock himself out. Made a mess but he kept going back to it all day and happily playing alone for stretches.
i find Bobux shoes are best for chunky feet! Check Vinted for new ones

MG1614 · 04/04/2024 09:20

Soft play, libraries and garden centres are your friends on days like this. Swimming another good wet weather activity? Solidarity - the combo of crap weather and holidays is pants and they are such hard work at the age you're describing x

Lentilweaver · 04/04/2024 09:21

This is one of those days when TV time is ok. Been there, done that!

PoochiesPinkEars · 04/04/2024 09:23

Can you go swimming?
When I was feeling like you, it was a good choice, lots of physical activity and sensory stimulation as early as possible in the day meant less shenanigans later and hopefully a good nap.

Purplevioletsherbert · 04/04/2024 09:23

I remember these days and they were awful. Does he enjoy bath time? If so, there is nothing wrong with several baths today! Alternate between being outside in the rain (I wouldn’t even worry about his shoes being wet as long as he has warm socks - they’d only get immediately wet outside anyway!), TV time, and baths. Softplay if there’s one local and you can afford it.

Rainyspringflowers · 04/04/2024 09:24

Are people suggesting ikea for the crèche? As it’s 3 and over. I think the OPs child might be a way off that.

sendismylife · 04/04/2024 09:26

I used to measure what kind of day it had been by the number of baths! Don’t know what I would have done if my kids had hated the bath. With plain water, they learned to drink out of an open cup in the bath…

notsostylish · 04/04/2024 09:28

Run a bath and stick him in there, its always chilled my two out and gives you a breather for 5 minutes just to sit beside him and let him play. Then if you can get out to soft play and let him run off some steam.

Flittingaboutagain · 04/04/2024 09:28

Our library is running their bounce and rhyme still. Soft play is a nightmare on a challenging day. I'd spend the whole time chasing mine out o the cafe not the play area!

But basically I'd rather go out in the car and hope he sleeps! Then come home and do some sorting/letting him choose which toys to move around etc or his version of baking. Anything where you can let him lead.

These days are hard.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread