To not know how I’m going to get through the day

[moreminieggsplease]

With my toddler. I was in tears by 8am. I really don’t know how to get through to bedtime without absolutely losing it.
every single thing he has done since he woke up has been to push a boundary and I get it, that’s what they do but it’s constant and I just can’t hack it today. If he’s not doing something he shouldn’t be doing, he’s having a huge fucking meltdown because he’s not doing it.
DH is at work all day, I don’t have any family or friends locally. None of the groups are on. It’s pissing it down. It’s always fucking pissing it down. Yes, we could go out in the rain and we do, otherwise we’d never leave the bloody house in the past 3 months but he currently only has one pair of shoes which are already wet (only started walking recently and has chunky feet so hard to find other shoes that fit). Won’t keep a pair of wellies on and he’s probably not ready to wear them yet if I’m honest. I’ll take him out in pushchair for a bit but he hates being in it too long now.

I just feel like I’m losing it today. And the realisation that it’s only 9am is basically awful. There are a lot of hours left in this day.

Do you have a big garden centre nearby? Ours has a large outdoor area with conservatories and kids playhouses on display. We used to play in them, pretending we lived there! (Actually some of those play houses cost more than my actual house!)

Your boy sounds like mine!

If his shoes being wet is keeping you inside can you get another pair? Next do wide fit, G and H and even wider in some styles.

Put his wellies on under a puddle suit. Some puddles suits have straps that go under the feet so they can't kick them off. Also insoles if too big which make them harder to kick off too.

My boy didn't care about tv at the age until we discovered bird videos! Go on YouTube and look for birds in the amazon. Maybe he loves them too? He watched it for maybe 10 minutes and it was such a relief.

Dens! Use a chair or sofas and throw a blanket over. Stick a few toys under or books he likes. I couldn't believe how long ds played like that for when I was exhausted one day.

Get pull ups for nappy changes and have him stand up. It's so much easier.

Remove everything he can destroy eg your laptop. Make sure all kitchen cupboards he can reach have things he can play with like pots and pans not crockery. Our house is so sparse because it's much less stressful than ds constantly destroying things.

Good luck! Xx

This won't help for today, but if you can afford to buy a pair of toddler sized waders, they'll really help with the problem of getting out in the rain.

I don't mean waterproof trousers that you wear with wellies. I mean the ones where the welly and the trouser leg are welded together. Even if you can only find one a couple of sizes too big, just get a couple of pairs of thick socks to go under them.

Particularly with my highest energy (ADHD) toddler, being able to get out in any weather was life changing. And it's so good for them to be outside - good for their concentration, their vestibular system, their eyesight, their mental health, and your mental wellbeing!

For today, you could also check out 5 minute mum.

You have my sympathy. It's always hard work with toddlers, but on Those Days it can feel impossible.

Mine were like this too. They always seemed to be worse when I was poorly

Soft play with coffee, or put him in his cot if he still uses one ( or a play pen...yes i used them and they'll were great) his meltdowns were so bad one day I had to go and sit alone in the garden.

Put the telly on and plonk him in front of it, get some respite xx

Stick him in the buggy and go for a long walk and stop at every park you see. Put music on or a pod cast / get a coffee to drink etc

that's what I used to do and some of my best memories

do not stay in!

Who does this work for?! In no way would this have helped me!

2.5 year old here and it is hell! (Sorry to say it may go on another year or more 😩) The days are long. I can't do anything round the house as he's wrecking everything. He's constantly poking at the baby , I can't put baby down. Tantrums & so much energy. Doesn't nap during the day either. Boys seem to be worse than girls for having high energy levels in my experience! Solidarity, it's definitely not easy. Soft play and groups are a saviour.

I feel your pain, mate. I once ended up on an inter-city bus with no underwear on (I’d gone out with DS in the buggy to see if he’d sleep so I just threw my coat on over a tshirt and leggings). Did he fuck sleep, he was in the nightmare phase and the bus pulled up next to me and we just got on. Took him round the piers, went to ‘spoons for lunch and stayed out most of the day. Felt like I was losing my mind when we jumped on the bus but he saw a lot of stuff he wouldn’t have seen otherwise and it turned out to be quite a nice day. Apart from the poonami in the bus station and all the locals looking at me as I emerged from the toilet after he howled NONONONONONO throughout the change, was lucky the police weren’t called.

so yeah, I’d second just getting out the house? Swimming is a PITA but it does exhaust them and he’ll maybe grow up to be an athlete 😉

Another bath distraction - eating in the bath. On long long days I used to serve macaroni and toast in there. Or get him kicking a soft football, you can be the goalie. Anything that involves movement!

Have you got a pets at home/pet shop nearby? Mine used to look at the fish and the small furry animals for ages.
Oh, I used to do this until the day they realised the animals were for sale! One asked recently why we hadn't been to the zoo in (neighbouring town) for so long and I had to admit it was the pet shop!

Another good one, if you have room with a hard floor is toddler + ping pong ball or bouncy ball. Can't leave them to it, but it does make them tired!

Wellies and rain trousers - the ones that go up over the shoulders (so they don't get wet if they sit down in a puddle) and have elastic to go under the boots (holds the wellies on ).

I remember days like these! We used to get the bus into town or walk so he could see the firetrucks. We used to go to the library or get a book from the bookstore and sometimes soft play. Because my DS used to love stirring a bucket with water in it on rainy days I used to put him in the bath with his toys and a little bucket to stir water or tip it out.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time.

yanbu. Toddlers can be hellish and the bad weather is a nightmare when you just feel trapped.

go out in the rain, jump in Puddles, get soaked then I love the suggestions for a bath! That’s what I was going to suggest. Stick a load of toys in with him, tell him to wash them. Or stick lots of plastic cups and pots in.

Does he like water? Pop a couple of towels on the floor and get some plastic containers - cups, bowls, measuring jugs etc - and let him do some pouring.

There is always some tv that hooks them in that you can put on while you have a cuppa and regroup yourself for the next stretch. Not sure if it’s still a thing but when mine were little the boys loved the Thomas train thing with Ringo. The episodes were around 10mins so nothing like ‘sitting your child in front of a tv all day’. Others liked Simpsons, they had zero idea of what was going on or the plot but just seemed to like the bright block colours, voices and movement when that age, so again perfect for a 10min cuppa then turn off.

They can be such difficult times at that age, you have my sympathies. I was very lucky that I had a small but good soft play area a five minute walk from where we lived. We went there - a lot! It wasn’t expensive thankfully and we’d spend hours there, them playing, me sitting with a cup of tea and a book. It sold food as well, so fish fingers and chips when they wanted a break and back to the play. It was a Godsend! It’s closed down now though so I feel sorry for the local mums not having it on their doorstep anymore.

I remember those days and had a few breakdowns as well.. Not ashamed to say I stuck the TV on the day really does drag doesn't it.
You need to get out see family if possible rather than spending every day stuck inside (easier said than done).

Toys that you can leave them too it, e.g Playdoh, sand, toys cars, train tracks and things they can muck around with. Things you can sit down on the floor and do (my favourite lazy thing is getting paper and drawing roads, car parks, water or cutting out shapes like sharks and playing with them). Sitting down and reading some fun books e.g there's a monster in your book, dragon in your book series, dear zoo, the very hungry caterpillar, magnet books where they stick magnets on.

Once ds started school and wrap around it got a lot easier as I only have him now in the evening and on the dreaded weekend.

It's 1oclock, you are on the home stretch now.
How about a quick buggy trip to the corner shop to pick up some cornflour. Mix that with some water when you get home and make gloop. It's an easy clean up taste safe activity add cocoa powder and toy dinos for instant swamp. Pouring activities in the bath. Wooden spoons banging on pots for a noisy activity. Posting activities. Cut a hole in a cardboard box to post random stuff in.
It can be a long hard slog at this age. You are coping wonderfully

You will get through it op. I remember those days, my youngest son was a really difficult toddler. I remember those days, no sleep, kicking me every nappy change, constant screaming and tantrums. We came through it and he's a truly delightful boy now.

Be gentle with yourself, take a nap when he does if you can, try to get out of the house, soft play, swimming, taking a bath together, feed the ducks. I know it's tough, the days are long and boring. But it won't always be this way.

'My little one would play for ages in a bath. I would lie on my bed with the door open so he was only 6 feet away. '

Please don't do this OP. Kids drown very quietly and it takes very little time.
Mine fell into the pool once (I was watching him so I jumped straight in), but I was surprised at how silent the whole thing was. No splash of him falling in, no gasping for air or screaming. He just went to the bottom of the pool. Luckily only for 3 seconds and then I pulled him out.

Plus, you can fall asleep when lying in the bed. And he's in a bath which is a totally dangerous scenario.

Some brilliant ideas on here thanks folks. Taking on board for my nearly 2 GC who I have 1 day a week. They can be exhausting

Swimming
soft play
both physical and they can let off some energy!

I used to find having radio 4 on helped. Like I had another adult with me...

I have a nearly 4 year old and you've just brought it all flooding back to me. I've been dreading this stage coming with my 1 year old. It feels never ending many days, and I wished the time away. The 4 year old is much easier most days now thankfully!

This sodding weather doesn't help. Being house trapped makes the day even longer. I find spending time with mum friends with a kid the same age really helps. And talking about how hard it can be. It's so normal but people don't always talk about it.

Keep going, you're doing a wonderful job, I promise!

It sounds like he would benefit from some messy play. Perhaps you could get bath paints or shaving foam like others have said and allow him to get really messy in the bath as you can just rinse it down. Things he can drop that aren’t messy but give satisfaction like sticky balls on the kitchen floor. Boats in a tub of water outside in the rain if it’s not too cold. Things were he can be messy and explore what his hands/arms can do without pushing boundaries

Some TV time so you can have a tea oe coffee or soft drink of your choice and soft play of your choice.