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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to say no to mentoring a new woman at my work ?

102 replies

Shestolemyboyfriend · 03/04/2024 20:42

Because she stole my boyfriend? I was with one man from being 16 -26. I thought he was the love of my life clearly wasn't! We had our lives mapped out together I got on with his wider family and he mine. I went to uni and met "Elise" on my course. Fast forward to the first Christmas and I went to my boyfriends work Christmas do, she was there and it turns out our boyfriends worked in the same office. We didn't exactly become best mates but did have some of the same mates. Eventually after eight years my boyfriend became distant it turns out he had cheated on me with Elise they'd been on and off for about three years!
We split and went our separate ways, I was too upset to even speak to his family again but was heart broken. I couldn't even face our common friends. She was absolutely horrible to me and told all our friends in common that I hadn't been able to give what she could in bed etc etc.
I got asked to mentor a new starter and agreed to do so, I've done it plenty of times, first day back after the Easter holidays she waltzes into the office and I could tell she recognised me obviously. I didn't know what to say, they have two children now and we have the kind of work place that does social outings with partners included. To be honest I'm happily married with my own family but the weirdness is just palpable. I'm supposed to take her out and introduce her to people and show her around. How the heck would you navigate this. It was nearly 20 years ago now, my heart is way over it but I cannot be arsed with seeing him or being nice to her! Please help me navigate this people!

OP posts:
Horticultured · 23/04/2024 08:58

I don't believe that she is working there out of pure coincidence! There is no way she didn't know you work there with linkedin etc, particularly if you are in a senior position! Who doesn't do their homework about a company? I would question what on earth she is playing at!

I would be very wary and for damage control explain the history to your supervisor without going into too much detail. They will not make you mentor her after that.

JaninaDuszejko · 23/04/2024 15:25

@Horticultured how to tell people you didn't read the thread without telling them you didn't read the thread.

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