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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend dress sense

127 replies

Poppalina37 · 03/04/2024 19:07

I really don't want to get burned for this!

I've met the most wonderful man.....

Except the way he dresses gives me the ICK....

I'm not exactly fashionable but I wear a lot of Joules, and Boden. I'm 42, he's 49. Generally look smart, well kept, nice hair and nails.

He wears tracksuits; joggers and hoody's... he has a rather large stomach too... so this attire may help cover his shape.

I visited friends over the weekend and this came up.... we weren't slagging him off.... I just mentioned I found it difficult as I like a well dressed man.

This isn't a financial issue.... I believe he could afford better clothes.... I could also afford to take him shopping. I just have no idea how to do that.

Also, I'd be gutted if he hated how I dressed.

Advice please x

OP posts:
PossumintheHouse · 03/04/2024 20:27

LlynTegid · 03/04/2024 20:24

He is not a wonderful man if he lacks basic personal self respect to dress as he does. You could forgive it perhaps if he was on the breadline.

The UK has some of the most badly dressed people in the world. It is a national shame up there with Brexit.

Edited

You'd equate wearing trackkie bottoms with Brexit?

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 03/04/2024 20:33

I expect he is choosing comfort over style, which is laudable. Find a middle round for him. Clothes that are relatively smart but still very comfy.

dullestofall · 03/04/2024 20:51

LlynTegid · 03/04/2024 20:24

He is not a wonderful man if he lacks basic personal self respect to dress as he does. You could forgive it perhaps if he was on the breadline.

The UK has some of the most badly dressed people in the world. It is a national shame up there with Brexit.

Edited

Because the better you dress the more wonderful of a human you become?

I honestly wish I had the guts to wear tracksuits sets and trainers only.

ScroogeMcDuckling · 03/04/2024 21:11

Unless you have a “smoking hot bod”, I can truly say hand on heart, once u hit a certain age, it’s very difficult to get it right.

i had a baby blue nicely fitting blue hoodie, matched up with a white t shirt, grey jogging bottom material in a grey skirt, and I wore it with white trainers and I looked good, i got a lot of compliments, and I felt good. More than once I realised that young lads found me attractive from behind, when I turned round they were mortified how old I was. I was flattered.

i bought a grey hoodie similar to the blue.

wire it a couple of times, saw my reflection in a shop window, I thought it was my granny sadly it was me looking fat, frumpy and old. That grey top went to the charity shop pdq.

NewName24 · 03/04/2024 21:13

He is not a wonderful man if he lacks basic personal self respect to dress as he does. You could forgive it perhaps if he was on the breadline.

Grin

You are hilarious

bluegreygreen · 03/04/2024 21:15

LlynTegid · 03/04/2024 20:24

He is not a wonderful man if he lacks basic personal self respect to dress as he does. You could forgive it perhaps if he was on the breadline.

The UK has some of the most badly dressed people in the world. It is a national shame up there with Brexit.

Edited

Wow, it's true - you can shoehorn Brexit into any thread on Mumsnet

bananamum13 · 03/04/2024 21:19

If his style gives you the ick, then leave him - you can't change him and shouldn't want to in all honesty.
Just like you wouldn't want to have to change your style for him.

LittlePudding1 · 03/04/2024 21:40

If he's clean, hygienic and fun to be with I'm not sure I'd be bothered about what he's wearing.

I'd much prefer the joggers and hoodie look on a middle aged man than the trying to be young skinny jeans, no socks and moccasins.

But then I'm 50 and spend a lot of time in my pyjamas so what do I know 🤷🏻‍♀️

zurg123 · 03/04/2024 21:45

I'm 41 and wouldn't be seen dead in joules or Boden, so it's all down to preference.

My dh is 48 and works in a hands on engineering role, so wouldn't wear a suit and tie etc. he's mostly jeans and T-shirts. His clothes aren't what I'd ideally dress him in, but then I wear what I want.

Diamond007D · 03/04/2024 21:50

No-one wears Joules and Boden tho, is this a joke?

HeadNorth · 03/04/2024 21:52

It’s not the clothes, it’s what’s in them that counts. The beer gut may put me off, but not shit clothes.

Twolittleloves · 03/04/2024 21:58

I do get this in a way as I have always been very attracted to a smart dresser and do find it a real turn off if DH wears certain things or has mismatch issues (he has some awful rustly thin material new balance gym trousers that he wears as lounge trousers that are the current thing I'm not keen on!)

However, I think you are being unreasonable about the brand thing...it sounds snobby.Smart and fashionable wel styled and well fitting clothes don't need to be crazy expensive brands.

Sidebeforeself · 03/04/2024 22:01

Poor bloke. Seriously if my partner suggested me being styled they’d be an ex partner in no time.

Yes, everyone is entitled to decide what they find attractive etc but then you should own it . Th problem is you not him.

WandaWonder · 03/04/2024 22:01

Yeah I can just imaine if this was reversed! 'omg girlfriend you need to block him seriosuly how on earth can think this about you, you are such a beautiful person it will give you anxiety seriously get rid and find someone who worships you'

19lottie82 · 03/04/2024 22:02

Subtle and gradual styling. Buy him new bits and keep telling him how handsome he looks.

Original poster
Poppalina37 · 03/04/2024 22:05

Wow... interesting response...

Firstly, I have not spoke to him about the way he dresses!!! I posted here for advice/support!

He has mentioned that he needs to lose his stomach... but hasn't done anything about that, yet!

I have spent a lot of time building a friendship/relationship with him and have seen past his clothes. I feel that our relationship is ready to move to a more serious stage... and I wish he dressed a little better.... I would say he's an Asda shopper.

When I said I dressed in Boden (dresses) Joules- shirt/blouse/odd stripe top/jeans and blazer or coat... I am by no means dressed in huge floral tops... I wear converse etc.. Ralph Lauren.... I'm just saying that I take pride in my appearance.

Despite what some may think... I'm not an awful person... I'm simply asking for help... I don't want to hurt his feelings or hurt him in anyway.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 03/04/2024 22:06

WandaWonder · 03/04/2024 22:01

Yeah I can just imaine if this was reversed! 'omg girlfriend you need to block him seriosuly how on earth can think this about you, you are such a beautiful person it will give you anxiety seriously get rid and find someone who worships you'

This.

If OP was a woman and had concerns about her partner trying to "style" her, subtly or not, everyone would be saying LTB.

I have had this in the past with ex boyfriends. One bought me tanning salon vouchers (I rock the pale and interesting look, and always have). Another was fine during the early days, then would make snarky comments about the clothing I wore. Insisted on going shopping for me etc.

PassingStranger · 03/04/2024 22:08

Jeezs surely you should be worried how you get on, how he treats you etc.

FoxyLoxyLoo · 03/04/2024 22:09

I would say he's an Asda shopper.

Good grief, lots of people shop in Asda. You clearly haven’t seen past his clothes as you’ve started a thread about it and that’s twice you’ve mentioned his stomach. People can take pride in their appearance without wearing Joules or Boden.

Edited to add, do you judge everyone who wears Tesco/Asda/Sainsbury’s clothing or is it just men?

Fs365 · 03/04/2024 22:10

LlynTegid · 03/04/2024 20:24

He is not a wonderful man if he lacks basic personal self respect to dress as he does. You could forgive it perhaps if he was on the breadline.

The UK has some of the most badly dressed people in the world. It is a national shame up there with Brexit.

Edited

This is the most stupid and ridiculous comment on the internet today

DanielGault · 03/04/2024 22:11

What 'help' do you need exactly? If his dress sense bothers you that much, let him go.

rainbowlou · 03/04/2024 22:11

I shop in Asda, please tell me how you picture a typical Asda shopper?😂
I’m guessing you would prefer him to be a ‘Waitrose’ kind of guy?

Isthisexpected · 03/04/2024 22:12

I wouldn't be able to find him attractive because I hate jogging bottoms and tracksuits if not at the gym. So how have you come to be in this position of essentially falling for someone who simultaneously gives you the ick? I'd end it. You're not compatible as he'll always gravitate to these kind of clothes/this style and you'll always be a bit embarrassed about how he dresses.

Isthisexpected · 03/04/2024 22:13

rainbowlou · 03/04/2024 22:11

I shop in Asda, please tell me how you picture a typical Asda shopper?😂
I’m guessing you would prefer him to be a ‘Waitrose’ kind of guy?

The Asda car park here is full of people in their pyjamas. I have never once seen anyone go into Waitrose in pyjamas.

Devilsmommy · 03/04/2024 22:15

LittlePudding1 · 03/04/2024 21:40

If he's clean, hygienic and fun to be with I'm not sure I'd be bothered about what he's wearing.

I'd much prefer the joggers and hoodie look on a middle aged man than the trying to be young skinny jeans, no socks and moccasins.

But then I'm 50 and spend a lot of time in my pyjamas so what do I know 🤷🏻‍♀️

You know alot more than some I've read on here