To say no to unwanted visitors?

[SammyTheDog]

Met this family on holidays abroad a few years back. Invited the three of them to come and stay with us (we don't live in the UK) as their dd got on really well with ours. So they came and stayed with us last summer for about 5 days. Problem is, when they came to stay, they didn't bring as much as a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine. Neither did they spend a single penny for the whole time they were here. We took them out to dinner almost every night; paid for boats trips, trips to museums etc. Neither parent put their hand in their pocket for the entire trip. They're not wealthy people, but we felt it wouldn't have killed them to bring a small gift, or at least pay for one of the meals out!
Now, the mum has been in touch to say they want to come again this summer, this time for a week!! Would it be really mean of me to say no? And what exactly will I say? Help!!

Of course it wouldn't be mean. But why didn't you say so shall we go out tonight on you, since we paid last night? Or just split the bill? Why did you continue to pay for them. That's crazy.

Just say sorry we don't have the time or money to have you over. Hopefully see you soon.
Or say I think it's our turn to come to yours.

Yeah, I agree with @BrocolliLand . I understand that it's hard to say "no" but that was a crazy situation. Little wonder they want to stay for longer this time!!

They are taking you for a ride!

Say no, offer to go to them, they'll soon disappear!

Agree with a PP, just say you can't afford to host them again and how disappointed you were that they never offered to pay for anything last time. Fuck their free holiday!

You were generous last summer and they didn't treat you well so please don't entertain having them again. Ever.
Just say no sorry that doesn't work for us. Personally I would end the friendship.

‘Sorry, but we’re already completely full up this summer.’

Ditto next year, if they try again!

Well that's on you for paying for them for an entire week.

By the second day you deserved to be taken advantage of if you haven't got the wit to speak up and say that you were not paying for everything for the entire holiday, and that each family would pay for their own stuff.

I have absolutely no sympathy for you.

Bloody hell, are you running a free hotel for randoms? Can I come with my brood this summer?

OP, find your anger at these Cheeky Fuckers and say no!

And then block and delete them.

What does your DH say? I hope he isn't saying to let them come?

Do you really want to remain friends with them?

If you dont reply along the lines of
We cant do it again im sorry. It cost us si much money hosting you last time and we felt a little taken advantage of as you didnt even bring a bottle of wine as a thank you

If you do want to remain friends just say

Sorry we cant host but if you book into a hotel it would be good to catch up one night

Honestly only on mumsnet do these things happen. How on earth did you end up paying for everything for a family you met once on holiday and invited them to stay 🙈🙈 it’s laughable surely! If you visit a museum you pay for your own families separate surely? Same with boat trips. Restaurants could be more tricky as you have to actively ask to split the bills but after the first time they didn’t pay surely you’d wise up and ask to split it?

Problem is they will think they can stay every year if they bring a bottle of wine next time!

Better to block and delete them for good.

OP, don't tie yourself up in knots about it.

Cheeeeky AF no I’d say your stacked out this summer!

Why didn't you say something at the time? They're taking advantage because you let them.

Saying no obviously isn't mean. You need a bit of a backbone!

Why on earth did you pay for everything last time?
As it is it of course is fine to say no, being as honest as you feel is necessary.

They are taking the piss.

You need to be honest with yourselves about why you allowed that to happen. If you find it impossible to assert yourselves socially then hosting guests is not for you.

Why did you carry on paying for everything for 5 days, I do t get this at all?

Surely, the second time there was a paying situation, you would have said something?

More fool you for not speaking up last year!

As for this request I'd reply "No, after your freeloading last year its not happening ever again. Bugger Off"

You've let yourself be taken for a complete ride here. I hope this shows you how some people will take the piss out of the generosity of others. Say thanks but no we cannot afford to host you again.

You’re obviously an extremely lovely person who must have got on very well with this family to invite them over last year. It’s a real shame that they then took advantage of this by not contributing to anything during their stay! Actually beggars belief! If they can afford to travel over then they can afford to feed and water themselves, just like they’d have to do at home!

If you would like them to stay again I’d be making sure that they are fully aware of what’s expected when they stay, although I don’t know how you’d word this, why should you even have to spell it out!!

Other than that reply that you can’t accommodate them at the moment, rinse, repeat if they ask again!

Just say sorry you no longer have room to host visitors.

"Sorry, we're not in a position to be able to host this Summer. We'd love to see you though, we can visit you at your chosen apartment/hotel/airbnb."

Anyone who invites themselves for a week, should be prepared for the answer to be no. It's a bizarre request.

I'd just say that your summer is quite full on so you're not able to host this time.

I can't believe that anyone would pay for all meals out and entrance tickets and no one bats an eyelid

No , and no ,no no .