To say no to unwanted visitors?

[SammyTheDog]

Met this family on holidays abroad a few years back. Invited the three of them to come and stay with us (we don't live in the UK) as their dd got on really well with ours. So they came and stayed with us last summer for about 5 days. Problem is, when they came to stay, they didn't bring as much as a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine. Neither did they spend a single penny for the whole time they were here. We took them out to dinner almost every night; paid for boats trips, trips to museums etc. Neither parent put their hand in their pocket for the entire trip. They're not wealthy people, but we felt it wouldn't have killed them to bring a small gift, or at least pay for one of the meals out!
Now, the mum has been in touch to say they want to come again this summer, this time for a week!! Would it be really mean of me to say no? And what exactly will I say? Help!!

How about buying a chap doormat just for the occasion?
EG, doormat reads in cap letters, "U R NOT WELCOME"

OR

"OH NOT U AGAIN" - This one is a bit more polite but one of my clients had it for their neigbour, showed it to me

😂

@SammyTheDog did you not say something? Why did you keep paying?

These things do not work. Not stays for more than a day/night. Unless reciprocated. So if they live somewhere you want to go, it can work. Not if you are the host and payer all the time!

I have a holiday home and couldn’t believe the amount of friends/acquaintances that wanted to stay there, dropped it in to conversation how they want to visit that part of the world. No way, if they have a home I can stay in, maybe I would consider it, otherwise why should I.

They invited themselves! Of course you can say no. Even if they were good friends who you love dearly rather than CF acquaintances, you can still say no because they invited themselves.

Wow who does this!! I’d just say no sorry it doesn’t work for us!

Agree. Why on earth did you do this to begin with?! If you have guests for several days it’s absolutely fine to cook at home most nights. Or to say “we are eating at home this evening, you are welcome to join us, but if you’d prefer to make your own arrangements and go out, that’s absolutely fine.”

Same for entertaining them and taking them on day trips every day as if they are toddlers. Yes, one or two days out is fine. But it’s also fine to say “we’ll just be relaxing at home today/working/getting on with some chores, feel free to chill out here but if you’d like to go out for the day, I can recommend x y and z local attractions.”

Sorry OP but you’re an absolute mug for doing all of that.

No wonder they have asked to come again - sounds like they had a free all inclusive holiday staying with you!
I would just say you have lots of plans this summer and it won’t be possible. Otherwise your house will become their annual cheap holiday destination!

I just feel like there must be some omissions. How do you end up paying for all meals and entertainment and the other family not offer to pay their share? Did you or your husband say 'We'll take you to this restaurant tonight. Our treat!" ... or was nothing said and then when the bill came you just paid it all?

Same with the museum trips, when you're in the queue surely you just pay for your own family.

Did they think you're exceedingly rich and want to treat them? It doesn't make sense.

Bloody hell! You are offering a fully inclusive holiday bed board and trips? I am not surprised they want to come back, they’ve got your number in more ways than one.

say no