Why do people not like using holiday clubs?

[Youdirtylittlehamster]

Speaking to ex-MIL. She's off with me. I don't know why. Later she comes to the point, why have I booked the DC's into holiday clubs when she could have them for free.
I don't want to tell her that it's because she doesn't do anything with them. Sometimes when I've picked them up she's let them be on their tablets all day, they haven't eaten any proper meals (once, just Hariono and crisps) they haven't washed or got changed, they aren't learning anything.
The reason I don't want to tell her is because I don't think she feels that any of this is important.
We fundamentally don't see eye to eye about this topic. She feels school holidays are for doing whatever the children want, with no limits or demands of them. She never worked when her children are school so doesn't get why I have to work them, and why I don't just tell my boss that I'm taking every school holiday off as 'I have children so surely they must understand'.

I like holiday clubs. I like the variety of the things they do. I like that they come home with stories and make new friends. My DD has EBSA at times, and it is much better to keep the routine of getting up in the week, getting dressed, having that separation from me. They do things there that I'm not good at like sports and baking. They meet kids from other schools and walks of life. Yes it is expensive but can be spread over a few months or budgeted for. If you are on UC then you can claim it back.

The amount of mums on single parent FB groups who limit their careers by only looking for term time jobs. Surely if you choose a job which pays 30k rather than 18K pro rata but you have to work some school holidays then you still end up better off?
I wonder if part of it is how they were brought up. I always went to holiday clubs, as my mum worked, so I don't think badly of them. The way some of my friends talk it's like I'm sending them down the pit!

Thank you so much! We first tried at 4 for a couple of weeks 3 hr a day and was a bit of a struggle. We sometimes try kids clubs for a couple of hours when on holiday but he’s very reluctant. I was wondering as they grow up does it get easier.

Good holiday clubs are excellent for most children and no parent should feel guilty for using them. For those dependent on grandparents - have they ever thought of providing the activities, ie paper, felt tips and stickers suggesting the kids might like to make a card or a picture. Use Pinterest, the list of crafts is endless. Or find puzzles in charity shops. It might be a bit daunting for some grandparents to occupy children. Give them a bit of help and everybody wins.

Nice to have the choice of both so you could do both? Some days at holiday club and others with family? X

I work term time only and place my child in a club 2 days a week. It's nice to mix it up a bit and still have some structure to the day & tablet free time. It's also lovely to have down days.

Ah from a child who had go to holiday clubs cause my mum worked, I absolutely hated it. Just another perspective. While some children love them, some don't. You and mil can agree to disagree cause neither of you are wrong really. Though I don't like the idea of children sitting on a tablet all day, I think non-structured days are healthy too.

Thank goodness for having the option of holiday clubs! For two parents with jobs they are very necessary, not for every holiday, we try to take as much time off as possible, but we can’t take every school holiday off work!

This week my 2dds did 2 days at holiday club, one day at home and one day with Grandparents while we worked. The grandparents day is always stressful, they don’t tend to arrive until 10 and always seem to double book us (this time it was Bridge club) so the kids were only out 10-2.30, it’s very kind for them to have them at all, but not ideal when working 9-5!

Tbh this is why I would only work term time - I don't like the idea of my children in holiday clubs the entire time as I believe they need down time too, but I also don't like the set up you're describing with the grandparents! I think a healthy mix of both is ideal although they definitely need to be washed and fed properly and maybe some at home activities that don't just include screens.

@Sass53271
The quote got lost, but was in reference to children not doing jobs, not bothered reading, not able to be bored etc, ie constantly needing to be entertained & amused.
WFH with young totally different & not sustainable imho

You have jumped from one point to another here OP. I'm not sure you are actually a single mum yourself from what you have put here....

Firstly you have to pay your holiday costs UPFRONT and you may get a small amount back so sometimes this is 6 weeks for july/Aug alone. As a single parent you have 13 weeks, inset days and sick days to cover also!

How old are you roughly OP? Because all these breakfasts/after school clubs and holidays clubs were not even around in my time (90s kid here). I did attend a playscheme and it was about 50p a day literally we loved it.

I live in the North and holiday camps cost around £30/£40 per day for each child.

I think a mix of holiday club and family would be good.

I didn't use holiday clubs for a couple of reasons.

They are expensive.

They tend to be open 9-3, which is useless if you work 8.30-5.

There are plenty which run from 8 - 6, or 9 - 5. They tend to be larger companies, more expensive, different admission rules. Quite different to play schemes.

What do you use for childcare then?

@MarvellousMonsters I forgot to add that point too about the playscheme times. I've struggled to find one that opens at 08.30am since covid a couple of closed down as all this WFH and covid the owner had to close her doors sadly.

DS attends 08.30am but it closes at 04.30 what good is that to mothers in these career type jobs OP? Honestly some people are rather short sighted!

I've struggled to find one that opens at 08.30am since covid a couple of closed down as all this WFH and covid the owner had to close her doors sadly.

Our wraparound/holiday club providers have been much less available since Covid as there’s less demand now that so many parents wfh - they only open for a few days in the holidays because so few children attend.

Not everyone with limited holiday club options just didn’t give it enough thought - circumstances change.

@ZebraDanios absolutely agree WFH has come at a price and whilst it has saved some parents in one hand... it's had a huge knock on affect on businesses.

I may be in the minority for this one..
But DS doesn't have an after school club so there's no way I could even work till 5pm. Life is complex OP although term time only isn't for me I can completely see why someone chooses it tbh.

My autistic teen loves her routine and a booth club would be good for part of the holidays but not all. I do sign her up to a particular hobby now and again that runs extra sessions for some weeks over summer and she loves it. However she also gets burnt out easily and needs to be able to have the odd PJ day and many days where she doesn’t have specific demands. I’m lucky though as I’m a teacher so have all the holidays with my kids. We’ve had the odd overlap between their school and mine where they’ve had to go to my parents but mostly I just have them. I am also the child of a teacher so never had to do holiday clubs either.

Depending on your area though not all are ofsted registered so those on UC can’t always claim back the fees. A lot near us are sports based ones. My kids are not sporty and it would be a week of hell or several weeks of hell. The one my eldest’s does is drama based run by the same people who do her weekend club, they are ofsted registered but they don’t run clubs for all the holidays.

There are also some near us that are aimed at families on free school meals and the club is free and they get fed. However none of these clubs (paid or free) run the hours people work. Most are 10-2. 9-3 at a push. If you work term time and are used to dropping off at breakfast club at 7:30 and picking up at 5:30 then these clubs would still eat into your annual leave.

I guess it depends where you live and what’s on offer.

And UC only pay for 85% and for some the other 15% might still be unaffordable.

Anything without you is easier as they get older. We haven't tried kid clubs away from home, i think the key to success early is having mates there, so that has to be near home. Doesn't have to be a best mate, anyone they get along with is good and they extend friendships along the way. Then they get to know staff, the place, kids who turn up every session... and it's sorted. If not, maybe they don't like the camp. I don't think a camp away somewhere is comparable TBH, that's a whole other deal.

I'm a grandmother, so obviously a mom too. I'm in Belgium, we have two full months of summer holidays. My grandson (6) travels a week to 10 days with his parents. The rest of the summer he spends time in holiday clubs but also with us and one day a week with his mother,who works 4/5. We take him to visit interesting places, invite friends with their (grand)children, play-read-picnic-walk-paint-BBQ etc. with him. And some days he likes to be just left alone and do nothing specific. Not everything has to be organized.

I work term time only and always have even before kids. The summer is for exploring and I still do that with my kids we have down days where it’s about PJs and chocolate and other days about hikes and searching for waterfalls. As a child I’d be packed off to grandparents for a week at a time I loved it they lived near the coast and I feel I grew up at the beach. I always felt my parents working missed out on a lot of the fun times and I didn’t wish to be like that.

Sorry, what? We're talking day care and your MIL hasn't washed or changed them???? Or is that just an additional gripe from when she's babysat?
I ran "homework clubs with friends" for at least one day a week for all three of my kids. Not particulary brilliant at maths, but I've engaged and moved a couple of kids up in sets.
So, in all honesty, I have little respect for parents who just nit-pick and judge and don't take direct parental responsibility for supporting/educating their own children.
Schools are for every single child of all abilities.
If you want your child to be confident and sucessful, you do things, like make it fun for your child to learn timestables with their friends.
So before you entirely write off MIL - who could be the most useful person you ever know, when your child is sick and off school?
Just what exactly are you doing directly to improve the extracurricular skills of your child?

I hated holiday clubs as a child and my eldest DC also hates them. Not all children thrive in new environments with lots of activities they’re made to do. Some children prefer the familiarity and comfort of home and welcome the opportunity of down time and even boredom in the holidays.

YANBU the last thing I ever want is for my children to be on a tablet inside while the sun is shining outside. Plenty of time for that with the crap weather we've had.

We look through the schedules and the kids go to excursion days or inhouse days which they think will be fun to do with the new friends they have met.

I get the part about your MiL but not the part about women wanting term time jobs. I want to spend the holidays with my children. I’m not doing it to avoid holiday clubs.

It amazes me that if you are in UC you can afford kid clubs. I work full time get no help and can’t afford them.

I don't really like the general holiday clubs run at my dcs school or other local primary schools. They do a range of activities and it's sometimes nice for them to hang out with friends, but it's very general so not run by specialists, eg basic crafts, simple sport skills etc.

Generally I prefer more specialist holiday camps where they can pick up intensive coaching in a specific sport like tennis or horse riding for a week, or dance/art/music/languages run by specialist teaching staff. They often don't run for a full working day, just school hours. And I like having some weeks of chilling out with the family and day trips etc. I love spending school holiday time with my dcs and taking them to visit places that are hard to fit in during term-time, or that are busy at weekends. I'm able to work flexibly and never have to work during school holidays, and I have a good enough income not to need to.