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Original poster

Worried about going to France with my extremely endowed DH

85 replies

MyPolitePlumEagle · 03/04/2024 06:06

We're flying into Nice airport this Summer and were planning on spending our time along the coast. Is the rule about speedos still active at everypool? I'm worried it could look indecent for DH and like he's excited even when he's totally at ease. tya

OP posts:
Ginmonkeyagain · 03/04/2024 07:32

@Itwasafterallallaboutme The French have very strict swimming pool hygiene rules. No swimwear that can be worn as outdoor clothing (which rules out the longer, loose board short syle trunks British men often wear), mandatory showers before entering the pool and many municipal pools enforce the wearing of swimming caps.

xSideshowAuntSallyx · 03/04/2024 07:34

I just had to Google this, I never knew this was a thing. I can't remember all men in speedos when I went to a waterpark when I went to France with the school years ago (it was 30 years ago though) and as a 15 year old I'm sure it would have been something I remember (I remember the hot surfer boy instructors after all🫣).

TheCadoganArms · 03/04/2024 07:34

In spas, swimming pools, saunas etc the French are pretty strict on what swimwear to use for hygiene reasons. On the beach wear what you want.

Elecrricmaracas · 03/04/2024 07:34

Are you implying that no French men possess enormous dongs?

Viggooooh · 03/04/2024 07:35

VestibuleVirgin · 03/04/2024 06:20

Can he keep it in the cabin or is it so big it has to go in the hold?
Do he have to have extra large people on the opposite side of the plane so that it doesn't list to one side?
When are you going to Nice? I ask because I am going in May, so, is there any danger he and his endowment will be striding down the Promenade des Anglais then ?

Edited

Grin having to hold my snort in as next to sleeping dd

Zapss · 03/04/2024 07:35

So long as he doesn't do the dance that drove a million Frenchmen wild, it'll be OK.

Noyesnoyes · 03/04/2024 07:41

Ramalangadingdong · 03/04/2024 07:30

Apparently the actor Errol Flynn used to wrap his around his leg and sort of bind it to the leg with string.

I'd be worried about chafing, maybe a piece of silk?

Noyesnoyes · 03/04/2024 07:42

Toofattofly · 03/04/2024 07:20

Wish you'd put a trigger warning at the beginning of your post op, I've gone right off these sausages I'd cooked for breakfast 🤮

Were they those really long frankfurter ones?

ConJob · 03/04/2024 07:44

They allow tight swimming shorts as well as speedos, as long as they're made from swimwear material. My sons have worn ones that go most of the way to their knees. He could just guide his penis down his leg. Try some double-sided sticky tape to get it to stay in place.

Ginmonkeyagain · 03/04/2024 07:46

Apparrently Prince Albert had a piercing so he could use a ribbon to tie his manly endowment down so as not to offend in tight trousers. A posible solution?

VestibuleVirgin · 03/04/2024 07:49

Itwasafterallallaboutme · 03/04/2024 07:11

I just had to check the date on the OP in case it was posted on the 1st April, but no, it is today's!

I'm sorry if I am being a tad unfriendly, but I am not even going to try to give PlumEagle any advice.

However, I did not know about this rule about speedos, is any kind person willing to tell me why the French would come up with such a mystifying rule?

Asking the French for an explanation for anything is like asking for a vegetarian andouilette. Ain't gonba happen!
That's why France is brilliant

VestibuleVirgin · 03/04/2024 07:50

Threewheeler1 · 03/04/2024 07:13

I know...cursing my vivid imagination right now 🤔😖
Think I'll stick to the gardening chat for a bit, just until OP works out what to do about the possibility of the Gendarmerie swooping in on her DH 👀👮🚔

Show quote history

Stay away from your cucumbers...

Noyesnoyes · 03/04/2024 07:51

@MyPolitePlumEagle do you rent him out? Asking for a friend obviously!

VestibuleVirgin · 03/04/2024 07:52

onemoremile · 03/04/2024 07:27

It is because board shirts and similar are likely to be worn as all day shorts and get grubby. The whole point of Speedo's is that no one in their right mind would wear them unless they're actually swimming.

Show quote history

Have you been to Blackpool on a sunny day?!!!😀

IcouldbutIdontwantto · 03/04/2024 07:55

Itwasafterallallaboutme · 03/04/2024 07:11

I just had to check the date on the OP in case it was posted on the 1st April, but no, it is today's!

I'm sorry if I am being a tad unfriendly, but I am not even going to try to give PlumEagle any advice.

However, I did not know about this rule about speedos, is any kind person willing to tell me why the French would come up with such a mystifying rule?

I think (but this is based on my membership of a eurocamp Facebook group, and the answers people get if they ask on there, so in no way a official source) that it's to help keep the pools clean and stop men wearing their trunks like shorts all day, wandering round the town/ beach in them and then jumping in the pool. Speedos are likely on clean.

justaboutdonenow · 03/04/2024 07:57

Calm down Bragatha Christie!

Threewheeler1 · 03/04/2024 07:57

VestibuleVirgin · 03/04/2024 07:50

Stay away from your cucumbers...

Show quote history

It's the courgettes that scare me...you turn your back for a nanosecond and they've become ginormous marrows 🌭(no marrow emoji so subbed in a hotdog)...

ScroogeMcDuckling · 03/04/2024 07:58

Ginmonkeyagain · 03/04/2024 07:46

Apparrently Prince Albert had a piercing so he could use a ribbon to tie his manly endowment down so as not to offend in tight trousers. A posible solution?

I’ve learnt something new. Thank you

ohlookimbackagain · 03/04/2024 08:04

TMI

TheCadoganArms · 03/04/2024 08:06

Elecrricmaracas · 03/04/2024 07:34

Are you implying that no French men possess enormous dongs?

Is that a baguette in your trousers or are you just pleased to see me?

5128gap · 03/04/2024 08:22

I would recommend that for half an hour before he intends to swim he applies ice packs to the offending area. As an added precaution you should walk to the sea with him, shielding him with a towel. He may also want to wear one of the 'endowed not aroused' lanyards (with the symbol of a sleeping python on it?) I think they're available if he shows proof. Some men actually pin them to the area rather than wearing round their neck, which may give extra coverage.

MNHQ
BeckyAMumsnet · 03/04/2024 09:18

<wonders if obvious bollocks is troll hunting when OP is about obvious bollocks>

MrsClatterbuck · 03/04/2024 09:35

VestibuleVirgin · 03/04/2024 06:20

Can he keep it in the cabin or is it so big it has to go in the hold?
Do he have to have extra large people on the opposite side of the plane so that it doesn't list to one side?
When are you going to Nice? I ask because I am going in May, so, is there any danger he and his endowment will be striding down the Promenade des Anglais then ?

Edited

😂😂😂😂😂

Minfilia · 03/04/2024 09:40

Ginmonkeyagain · 03/04/2024 07:32

@Itwasafterallallaboutme The French have very strict swimming pool hygiene rules. No swimwear that can be worn as outdoor clothing (which rules out the longer, loose board short syle trunks British men often wear), mandatory showers before entering the pool and many municipal pools enforce the wearing of swimming caps.

Blimey, I never knew this!

we are planning a long road trip through France next summer and let’s just say DH doesn’t quite have the body to pull off a Speedo 😂

Westfacing · 03/04/2024 09:41

Can he keep it in the cabin or is it so big it has to go in the hold?

Grin