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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report this? What would happen?

163 replies

inbedalready · 01/04/2024 21:19

I work with children in a school, and within earshot of pupils, a colleague called her husband a f*** c...

I was shocked, horrified, don't know what to do. She shouted it 3 times. I don't think kids heard. What will happen to her if I report it?

OP posts:
ASighMadeOfStone · 02/04/2024 13:19

DrJoanAllenby · 02/04/2024 12:27

Wouldn't your first option be to address them immediately to warn them of children close by?

In real life, yes.

saraclara · 02/04/2024 15:52

@ASighMadeOfStone there's the world of difference between swearing lightheartedly or in a shared mini rant with your colleagues over something in the staffroom, and having a blazing row with your spouse and calling them a fucking cunt, in a classroom, with children in the room next door. Surely you can see that.

saraclara · 02/04/2024 15:55

Also we don't know that the swearer was a teacher anyway. Could be a TA, or a cleaner/site agent couple

I'm a teacher and I see no teacher bashing in the OP. Just a 'what the hell happened there and should I do anything?' post.

pimplebum · 02/04/2024 17:01

Horrified by all the nasty teachers who want to get a colleague in trouble rather than show compassion
So glad I don't work with you

Surely your first concern should be for a colleague who is having a hard time
Why the fuck would you want to make her life even harder by getting her into trouble ! You are a nasty person

Ask your colleague if she is ok and tell her you heard and you don't think kids heard , but THEY could report her
She needs support not more trouble at her door

Support your colleague it may be you next month who is having a bad day

MCOut · 02/04/2024 17:09

Do not be that person OP. You don’t know what’s going on in her life and she’s obviously already upset so why would you want to compound it? I’m sure she already knows that it is unprofessional and completely inappropriate for her to be bringing her personal problems into work.

PaperDoIIs · 02/04/2024 17:28

If either of them were supposed to be supervising kid and they weren't, that would be something to report.

Gettingonmygoat · 02/04/2024 17:57

beatrix1234 · 02/04/2024 11:04

Have you thought about the possibility that maybe he is a fu— g c—t? Maybe she’s at the end of her tether with this guy, maybe he’s an abuser god knows the situation but to tell your manager for this one off when you don’t know the full story is not cool. Like someone said above a letter to her letting her know “walls are thin” is suffice. If the rows with husband were an ongoing thing yes, do report it.

Yes my ex husband was a fucking cunt, yes he was an abuser and yes i was at the end of tether but not once did i think it was ok to use language like that near any children and certainly never in my classroom. I can't you are making excuses for such behaviour . It is never right or acceptable for those words to be used in a school. The standards are falling dramatically in this country.

Elecrricmaracas · 02/04/2024 19:57

I'm wondering where you work that staff don't swear at each other like this when the kids aren't around. Every teacher I've ever met in every school has been foul mouthed as soon as there's no kids around.

fuckingbastard · 02/04/2024 20:32

"Every teacher I've ever met in every school has been foul mouthed as soon as there's no kids around."
Sorry but this is not my experience. If a teacher swore in his workplace something quite spectacular and out of the ordinary would have happened. All the more reason to communicate with the person. Now mind you, she might owe you excuses, but not explanations.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 02/04/2024 20:44

I think you should mind your own business.
Just a thought though, there's been a few suggestions to check that she is OK. If it had been him swearing at her would you be checking that he was OK? Or would he be labelled an abuser?

NCFTS · 02/04/2024 20:50

If a child heard, then a parent should report it. But I don’t think you should report it. It wasn’t great, but it seems only another adult heard it - you. Therefore, no harm done. I think at most you should speak to the colleague and tell her that you heard her swear, but that all.

PropertyManager · 02/04/2024 23:32

Globules · 02/04/2024 11:30

I too have worked in safeguarding in schools for many years.

The OPs posts make it clear that the children were in earshot and would have heard if they'd been tuned in. You need to go back and read the posts.

If you read the NSPCC link it's a helpful laymans guide about what constitutes a low level concern. Breach of code of conduct is one of them. That is what's occurred here.

I'm sure an investigation wouldn't yield anything, bar a conversation between the line manager and the staff involved, but it definitely needs reporting.

If you think that professionals, who are employed by the school, swearing where children could hear is not a safeguarding issue, I suggest you discuss that with your manager, as you need some retraining.

Edited

I've been a teacher for 20 years, no one has ever accused me of being a professional, it's highly, highly offensive. Don't tar us all with that brush please.

Eyeroll2024 · 03/04/2024 05:27

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