To report this? What would happen?

[inbedalready]

I work with children in a school, and within earshot of pupils, a colleague called her husband a f*** c...

I was shocked, horrified, don't know what to do. She shouted it 3 times. I don't think kids heard. What will happen to her if I report it?

Personally I wouldn't report two adults having a verbal row in a room by themselves. But I would tell them that they could be overheard. They almost certainly didn't realise from what you've said.

YABU
it did not affect their ability to do their job. No children heard
it was after teaching hours.
you have absolutely no context as to why she was saying this eg finding out horrific news.
this isn’t constructive, it’s going to damage her job and life. Jeez if I made a mistake I’d hope a colleague would check on me/ support me.

a human response would have been to knock on and ‘say everything ok? Heard a bit of noise out here and don’t want the kids to be worried.’ Or ‘sorry to interrupt- are you ok? You probably don’t realise but we can hear you outside and don’t want the kids to hear this’.

It was the last day of term and no kids heard. Let it go.

I guess you could be a snitch. You know when you report a conversation a colleague had with her husband that you overheard that you weren't meant to. A conversation which children are unlikely to have overheard and when school was out for the term. I mean your desperately upset colleague could be even more upset but don't let that worry you. I mean say she did something foolish like hurting herself it wouldn't really be your fault, would it? In fact, I would describe somebody acting like this with another word rhyming with snitch. If you really wanted to be helpful you could keep your mouth firmly shut. After all, management aren't likely to thank you for landing them with the issue of who said what when. In a sense you were an eavesdropper and should have removed yourself when you became aware you were listening to what was meant to be a private conversation.

If they didn't hear then mind your business

Christ. Imagine you've just found out your husband is having an affair, you hold it together all day, have a row in what you think is a private room after the kids' home time, and then find out your colleague has reported you for it.

Assuming that this isn't usual behaviour and that she didn't pick a place she knew children were around, just leave it.

If they are waiting on buses then they are not five year olds and you are fairly certain they didn't get hear

If it becomes a pattern then that's something else.

Did you ask her if she was ok?

No I wouldn't report her, she could have stuff going on. How would reporting her help the situation?

By asking her how she is, she may ask why do you ask and you say 'i heard you swearing' - hopefully the penny will drop that she needs to use her inside voice

You are being ridiculous.

You say you don’t think children heard.

It sounds like they had a private disagreement in a different room.

Also be careful what you thought you heard might not be the reality.

I once heard shouted ‘sit on the fucking chair’ in a school. I would have sworn it under oath - however when I intervened in fact what was said was ‘sit on the…… chair’ the ‘fucking’ had come from a group of boys walking outside that had drifted through

ask first of everything is ok ? Big pause and if no reply expand with that you heard aggressive language ? And again wait. No reply then report to head. Talk fist

Secondary school teacher here 🙋‍♀️

I think it’s well established at this point in the thread that it’s highly unlikely the kids heard - if they had, there’s no way this would still be a secret. It’d be everywhere. They’d have all been singing it at them as they left to get on their buses. So I don’t think you need to worry about the safeguarding aspect of the impact on the students.

So what you’re really deciding here is whether you want to report them for the impact it has had on you as a colleague in your workplace. Only you can decide that. Personally I probably wouldn’t, but I have certainly known people to be reported for less.

In terms of what will happen: probably very little. She is not going to lose her job. Whoever you report it to will speak to her line manager, who will raise it with her and tell her to be careful about what she says at work. I can almost guarantee that that will be it.

So it’s up to you.

edited to correct typo

Stop listening to other people’s convos. What would your report say? I overheard a private conversation and there was swearing involved.

not i wouldnt report, bit sanctimonious

I wouldn't report it but I would tell her what I overheard instead. Most likely she will be mortified and that will be lesson enough.

Yes, report. It's not ok behaviour in a school context.

In KCSiE terms, you have a low level concern. It's your duty to report it.

You'd really really be shocked if you heard the private conversations in our school (and probably any school in the country)

Our private conversations all happen in the staff room, or in offices, away from the chance of any child hearing.

That wasn't the case here.

Yes it was. She's not said there were any students in the same room as the two colleagues.

You're saying within earshot because no pupils heard, of course.

An adult used adult words you don't like in a private conversation with no children in the room. And you actually think this is something worth reporting? You should move to Scotland, they have a fun new clype law that would suit you.

Nothing would happen - all she has to do is say you're lying. And even if they believe you, what do you feverishly hope they do to her?

Lol nothing will happen to her if you report absoloutley ludicrous! It was the end of the school day your not even certain the kids heard?! This sounds like a non story to me 🤣

Actually I would report it. It’s a genuine concern for the well-being of both the colleague and her husband tbh. Colleague should have more self control than to be using those words and shouting at work. Husband might be at risk of domestic abuse. It shows that there is an issue of unprofessional behaviour and an overlap of personal and professional relationships going on that need addressed.
@inbedalready ignore people suggesting you’re a busybody etc or eavesdropping- doesn’t sound like you had much choice but to hear and it was lucky the kids didn’t. So yes, report.

I think everyone so far is a FRIGHTFUL COWARD as not one person had offered the OP smelling salts in all this trauma.
Imagine having to go to management colleague and report you earwigged on a private conversation, out of hours and they SWORE!! 😱😱

For all you know, he might have just revealed he's having an affair and he chose work as the setting to tell her to 'avoid a scene'. All kinds of possible scenarios so if I were you, just have a quiet word. Say you heard 'them' (not just her) shouting and you wanted to make sure she's ok.

Nothing is to be gained by causing further trouble for a colleague who is already distressed.

Do you really need help to work it out?

Its floppy crumpet isn't it?

No keep your sticky beak out