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AIBU?

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Original poster

To report this? What would happen?

163 replies

inbedalready · 01/04/2024 21:19

I work with children in a school, and within earshot of pupils, a colleague called her husband a f*** c...

I was shocked, horrified, don't know what to do. She shouted it 3 times. I don't think kids heard. What will happen to her if I report it?

OP posts:
PaperDoIIs · 01/04/2024 22:33

cherish123 · 01/04/2024 22:13

I wouldn't. She may be fired. Everyone makes mistakes. Other colleagues will nit be supportive or your telling on her.

No one will get fired (unless they're really crap and the head just needs an excuse, and even then there's a process to follow), for having a private argument with their husband, in a separate room that was over head by a colleague and no kids.

She could even turn around and say it never happened and OP is lying her head off or that she said "frikking hunt!" because her husband is an avid hunter and going on a frikking hunt. Where's the proof?

PaperDoIIs · 01/04/2024 22:34

inbedalready · 01/04/2024 21:19

I work with children in a school, and within earshot of pupils, a colleague called her husband a f*** c...

I was shocked, horrified, don't know what to do. She shouted it 3 times. I don't think kids heard. What will happen to her if I report it?

Report her for what exactly?

PaperDoIIs · 01/04/2024 22:35

Flipping Blunt

Frikking Front

Frolicking Grunt

StasisMom · 01/04/2024 22:43

If in doubt, do nothing. She shouldn't have said it (within earshot), yes it's unprofessional but I would leave it.

Noseybookworm · 01/04/2024 23:27

Don't report her. Have a quiet word with her privately and tell her what you heard. Ask her if she's ok. She may be going through something awful so don't kick her while she's down!

ChedderGorgeous · 01/04/2024 23:27

Newsenmum · 01/04/2024 21:24

What were the exact words? We can swear on here right?

Show quote history

"Flaming cad"

SayFuckTheLemonsAndBail · 01/04/2024 23:31

I'd mind my own business. Unless she was making a hobby of it, I don't see any value in reporting it. You don't know what triggered it. You could make a bad time worse for her.

StormySpanielz · 01/04/2024 23:34

I would think you were the f* *c… if you reported me for this. They were’t in a room with anyone else and weren’t expecting to be eavesdropped on. No one heard but you apparently

AliceOlive · 01/04/2024 23:36

That sounds really upsetting. Very complicated given their personal relationship.

I think you should speak to her about it, in a way that lets her know you heard her, and then ask if everything is ok.

You said he was calm, but you only know he was quiet, right?

I think I’d only report this if I felt one of them was being abused. That’s hard to tell over the internet.

WearyAuldWumman · 01/04/2024 23:38

JMSA · 01/04/2024 21:27

I work in a secondary school. I'm not sure I'd report it if the kids didn't hear. However I'd make it clear to her that I had heard and that it shouldn't happen again.
I hope your colleague is ok. That's the kind of behaviour that could precede a breakdown Sad

Agreed.

The colleague is obviously stressed. The kids didn't hear. A quiet word is all that's needed at this stage.

PropertyManager · 01/04/2024 23:58

Most likely nothing, people swear, at my school nothing would happen.

I have been known to enter my A Level classes (who are all on their phones) with the wake up call "Come on you lazy fuckers lets do some work..."

Overheard the headmaster telling a student he was a "fucking joke" the other day, and he ain't wrong, rare he swears so it must have been deserved.

Hankunamatata · 02/04/2024 00:06

Yeah yabu. They were in a room bythemsleves and you overheard a argument. Get a grip. Even more so if this is High School

Skillest · 02/04/2024 00:09

Very glad you don't hear the language used in our head of year office...

FrenchieF · 02/04/2024 00:09

Definitely don’t report. It was a one off argument at the end of the school day. It Wasn’t in front of a class of kids. Even if anyone did hear I’m sure they’ve heard worse, it isn’t really that shocking!

Findmebythesea1 · 02/04/2024 00:16

‘I was shocked, horrified’
🙄
God have a day off and mind your business.

Thecastle1 · 02/04/2024 01:17

You don't think the kids heard, i'd ignore it, sounds like a one off.

I hardly doubt they're regularly having fights in empty classrooms and calling each other fucking cunts.

If it happens again then perhaps have a word with either one of them.

I'm more interested to know what he did to deserve being called that 😄

Bigstuffypillow · 02/04/2024 01:26

To be fair, if I had to work with my DH I'd probably call him that every day!😏

kayla22 · 02/04/2024 01:30

You need to calm down and mind your own business, no kids heard so I'm not sure what the problem is or why you'd want to cause a problem reporting it

Icehockeyflowers · 02/04/2024 02:02

Yes report it.

It’s a workplace. If they can’t be professional at their workplace, it needs to be addressed. I can’t think of an office where a couple swearing at each other would ever be acceptable for their adult colleagues let alone schoolchildren.

There are a lot of teachers in MN who will automatically tell you it isn’t your business but it is your workplace too.

Rhinohides · 02/04/2024 02:11

So was it in earshot of the children or not? Asking as you say they didn’t hear and I am sure if it had been within ear shot you would have done something to distract the kids/ minimise the noise/ alert the couple that they were being heard as clearly from this post you are a vet concerned and proactive lady.
is the husband okay, OP?

Tohaveandtohold · 02/04/2024 02:18

I’ll probably tell your colleague that they can be heard from another room but otherwise, what’s the point of reporting. It was a private conversation that no child heard and also, they can both easily say that wasn’t what was said and you’ll now look like the busy body in front of the whole school because really it’s your word against theirs

Icehockeyflowers · 02/04/2024 02:24

because really it’s your word against theirs

The OP would be believed over two people denying they were swearing at each other. She’s hardly going to make it up. She can pinpoint the classroom and the time. Presumably one of them was supposed to be in the classroom for whatever reason. It will be presumed they either deny or apologise.
If they lie, the OP can also lie and say that the children must have heard it. One or more of them possibly did.

AngelQuartz · 02/04/2024 02:25

In hindsight, I would have gone into the room and said “Is everything okay, we can hear shouting/raised voices” just to make them aware they could be heard.

I think it’s majorly unprofessional to use that language at work, never mind in a school where children/teens are present.

It’s hard to advise what to do. Me, personally I wouldn’t report as there is no evidence that any students did hear them. I’d just keep an eye on them and if the same thing happens again then I’d probably inform the Head.

Amelie2024 · 02/04/2024 02:30

Thecastle1 · 02/04/2024 01:17

You don't think the kids heard, i'd ignore it, sounds like a one off.

I hardly doubt they're regularly having fights in empty classrooms and calling each other fucking cunts.

If it happens again then perhaps have a word with either one of them.

I'm more interested to know what he did to deserve being called that 😄

@Thecastle1

my bet is shagging the HT over her desk.

BarbaraWoodlouse1 · 02/04/2024 04:07

Speak directly to her. Don’t tell tales on her

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